In America, we trust our kids to responsibly consume rum and coke, or vodka and Red Bull, or six crushed-up Vivarins dissolved in a Solo cup full of Everclear. But caffeine and alcohol in the same can? Absolutely not.

Charlie Sheen was discovered at the Plaza Hotel this morning naked, drunk, and in a trashed hotel suite with a "damaged" chandelier. (Swinging from the ceiling?) Hospitalized with ex-wife Denise Richards by his side, Charlie said he'd been "out partying."

For anyone who wants to have a few drinks without getting too messed up, beer is always a good choice. But the calories! And the beer belly! Fret no more. Here are the healthiest brews. The winner will surprise you.

Everything bad is good for you: It turns out that getting drunk really quickly makes you less likely to become an alcoholic. Sadly, boozehounds, you can't just pound a bunch of drinks; you need special inebriation genes to avoid addiction.

Biz Stone, the co-founder of Twitter, has described his company as a "globally meaningful... triumph of the human spirit." One other personal passion: flavored vodka for apple martinis, apparently. Stone doesn't just drink them — he's become a spokesman.

Kimmo Wilska, an English-language anchor in Finland, was fired for drinking on a live television broadcast. Ironically, he was caught while reporting on alcohol violations in bars. Wilska claims it was a prank to entertain his co-workers.

A shocking new study indicates that students drink more alcohol while studying abroad—on average doubling weekly intake to ten drinks. Drinking returned to normal when students came back, though rates of saying "when I was in Europe" tripled.

Last weekend marked an outrageous and ignoble milestone of disillusionment for more than a hundred Yale students: New Haven police rudely broke up their party as if they were regular townies. Needless to say, academe is aflame.

Prescription drug roundup! Binge drinking cancer kids! Cell phone food yakkers! Air pollution breasts! Recipe for divorce! Ironman goes soft! Football brain damage! Home dialysis! Cancer food! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—hazily!

Activities like overzealous dancing and stumbling from bar to bar is the most exercise Americans will ever get. The Onion reports drinking to excess may help you lose that five pounds you promised yourself you'd lose last summer.

You might recognize Josh Lucas from American Psycho or the guy Elle Woods ends up with in Sweet Home Alabama, but did you know he's also an entrepreneur? Not for anything you've ever heard of, though. It's a drink garnish.

Police in New Haven, Connecticut have launched a program called "Operation Nightlife" in order to crack down on violence at nightclubs. Armed with assault rifles, last night they raided a Yale party and tasered a student for being "uncooperative."

A 29-year-old in Teeside, England downed a pint glass full of vodka while drinking with friends. Shortly thereafter, he was found not breathing in a pool of his own blood and later died.

To think we had got it wrong all these years! Of course tequila doesn't go down harsh when your sinus' are hemorrhaging and you're temporarily blinded. Brilliant. We can't believe nobody has thought of this before.

It seems like wherever you go these days, some jerk is trying to talk you out of smoking and drinking all day. The latest know-it-all jerk moves: Regular citizens acting like the smoking police. And warning labels—on booze!

"I knew several Don Drapers," began the domestic goddess during yesterday's show. Inside, listen to her slurred stories of modeling days past when she'd parade around in her bikini "in front of this table of men probably drinking martinis." Fancy!

A Delta pilot was arrested today after Dutch police detected alcohol in his system.

Old people in Britain sure are worried about young people drinking. After a new survey, the Red Cross has suggested young people be taught first aid to help their friends when they drink too much. That's probably a good idea.

A new survey on drinking in Britain has revealed some shocking statistics. Would you believe that one third of Britons under 24 "drink to get drunk"? And nearly one fifth of those polled have had a one-night stand? Unbelievable!

The New York Times found a Rockaway Beach man who personifies the annoying local barfly.