Soon, Americans will able to purchase bags of “Doritos Roulette” in which one in every six chips is “melt-your-face hot.” Previously, regular consumption of Doritos had been considered risky enough.

As you've no doubt heard, a giant snowstorm has shutdown most of Buffalo. People were trapped for dozens of hours, some of them without food or water. A few of braver ones to took the street to gather food from an obvious source: an abandoned Doritos truck.

The advent of Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew—Dewitos, if you will (I won't)—has created a snack-beverage singularity akin to a spiritual experience, and Stephen Colbert is totally on board. Bring it on! Drinkify everything!

What looks like Mountain Dew, tastes like Doritos, and sounds just awful? If you guessed "Dewitos," a new soft drink concocted by the food criminals at Pepsi, congratulations, you're qualified to be an executive at America's largest food and beverage company.

Are you ready for the latest in Doritos technology? Doritos and 7-Eleven have partnered to test a cheese-stuffed snack called a "Doritos Loaded" at several select locations. But what is it? It's reportedly like a mozzarella stick, if the outside of a mozzarella stick were a Dorito.

Do you love Doritos®? Do you love Taco Bell®'s Doritos® Loco Taco®? Do you love Buffalo Wild Wings®? Have you ever wondered why they have like a bajillion wing flavors, but no Doritos®-related corporate tie-ins? Well, friend, do I have good news for you.

The only thing we know for sure about this story is that, on Saturday night, a sheriff's deputy from Monroe County in Florida removed a Doritos bag from a chip-loving deer's head.

A little more than a year ago, Taco Bell created shells out of Doritos Chips. This was a milestone in their endless quest to invent unexpected combinations of melted cheese, mystery meat, crunchy shell, and the most wilted lettuce to grace this green earth. Taco Bell titled this creation "Doritos Locos Tacos."

Today is the national launch of Taco Bell's newest bit of God-defying food sodomy, the "Doritos Locos Taco." The inside is your standard Taco Bell Taco; the outside, a hard taco-shaped Dorito. I had some today — to assist Gizmodo's Sam Biddle for his review — and now I'm going to give you the lowdown.

Snacking on Doritos is typically discouraged at funerals, as the loud crunch of the popular junk food tends to drown out heartfelt eulogies and generally detract from the somber mood of the occasion. But this will not be the case at Arch West's funeral, the former Frito-Lay marketing executive credited with first pitching the company with the idea of producing a seasoned, mass-market tortilla chip back in 1961. (He did not invent the tortilla chip itself, mind you — credit for that goes to Rebecca Carranza, who accidentally created them after she inherited a malfunctioning tortilla machine in Los Angeles in the late 1940s.)

Doritos posted two gay-themed commercials from a contest the junk food company held for potential Super Bowl commercials. What do you think of these spots? Are they good-natured fun or mildly homophobic?

Doritos had the public submit proposed Super Bowl ads. Here's a concept that didn't win, for some reason: Pretzels have killed idiot President George W. Bush, eat Doritos instead! Ha. That's "not funny."

Click to viewBoomp3.com Mega movie star Will Smith celebrated his 40th birthday in grand style as he went to town on a bag of Nacho Cheese flavored Doritos. Smith munched on a bag of the triangular taste explosions while taking in his son's football game. However, the former fresh prince of Bel Air's spent most of his time at the game making sure Dorito dust didn't land on his sharp white shirt. Smith said, “That’s what pants are for!” [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.