Donald Trump, to be fair, says a lot of idiot things. And for the most part, people just ignore him until he tires himself out, as you might a child having a tantrum. But it looks like his idiot comments about drug-addicted-rapist Mexicans rightfully offended some people—Univision says they’re not going to air the Miss USA beauty pageant as long as he’s involved.

According to the New York Daily News, presidential hopeful and deflated basketball Donald Trump has ignored five jury duty summonses in the last nine years, finally receiving a subpoena in March for “failure to respond to summons for petit jury service.” Trump reportedly also flouted that order, receiving a $250 fine.

As cartoon plutocrat and sentient overripe pear Donald Trump officially entered the Republican presidential race Tuesday, he pointedly brandished a financial disclosure statement that asserts his net worth to be in the neighborhood of 9 billion dollars. How much is Trump really worth? If history is any guide, the safe answer is: much less than he says he does.

When it comes to activities performed in the free world, New Wave artist Neil Young has been an early and enthusiastic advocate of rockin’. Unless, it now seems, the rockin’ is performed by melted Creamsicle/presidential candidate Donald Trump.

Donald Trump is officially running for President of the United States in 2016. During a Tuesday morning speech held at Manhattan’s Trump Tower, the 69-year-old Republican real estate mogul announced his current assets are worth $8.7 billion after debt and other liabilities.

Speaking to Geraldo Rivera on his WABC radio show this week, Donald Trump revealed that he and the mayor have not met in person, the New York Post reports. "Donald seemed perplexed by it, and not a little bit hurt," Rivera said.

This weekend, sentient rotting pumpkin time-lapse Donald Trump visited Iowa for the Freedom Summit, "a launch point for conservative ideas as we head towards 2016." There he spoke on a variety of topics, chief among them why the Republicans who might run for president are shit and he's great.

Donald Trump, Courtney Love, former Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak, and uber-lawyer Alan Dershowitz may have been identified by a butler as potential "material witnesses" to pedophile billionaire Jeffrey Epstein's crimes against young girls, according to a copy of Epstein's little black book obtained by Gawker.

Gaping mouth with hairpiece Donald Trump spends most of his time on Twitter railing against those he perceives as "losers," but he'll occasionally take a break to give his own ego a nice rubdown. A prankster exploited that vanity Monday, tricking Trump into retweeting a photo of a sweet married couple who also happen to be convicted serial killers.

In the course of raising $88.5 million and counting to fight amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, the Ice Bucket Challenge pretty much ran out of real-world celebrities to drench, so now animated regular schlubs are getting in on it. Here's Homer Simpson's contribution.

If you travel to, oh, let's say, West Africa on a humanitarian mission to help victims of the largest Ebola outbreak in history and contract the deadly virus in the process, don't expect any sympathy from Donald Trump.

Donald Trump digs as part of the groundbreaking ceremony for his $200 million Trump International Hotel in Washington, D.C., Wednesday. The hotel will transform the 115-year-old Old Post Office Building on Pennsylvania Avenue for a projected 2016 opening. Image via AP.

The first thing you notice about CPAC, the conservative answer to Comic Con, are the lines.

The original freelancer assigned to the revenge-motivated New York Observer takedown of New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman said in an interview with the New York Times today that he was hired straight out of an ice cream shop and quit when he figured out all the paper wanted was a smear piece.

On Tuesday, the desiccated ruin of the New York Observer published a bizarre, hilariously facile takedown of New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, accusing him of using his office to wage politically motivated prosecutions.

You’ve probably read BuzzFeed’s long profile of Donald Trump, in which political reporter McKay Coppins explains the absurdity of the businessman’s political aspirations and the “yes-men” who enable them (one of whom Trump quickly fired). Even if you haven’t read it, the editors of Breitbart.com sure have.

It’s not easy working for Donald Trump. Following BuzzFeed’s lengthy evisceration of the real estate titan’s presidential ambitions, one of Trump’s aides, Sam Nunberg, resigned from Trump’s full-time staff. Nunberg confirmed the resignation to Brian Stelter in an email, later obtained by Betsy Rothstein of The Daily Caller, in which he responds to BuzzFeed’s McKay Coppins, whom Nunberg allowed to interview his former boss:

For four years, the top editor of the manic media-news website Mediaite has worked and written under a fake name in order to conceal his criminal past, managing editor Jon Nicosia, whose real name is Zachary Hildreth, revealed on Saturday.