In the immortal words of “The Trump” himself, “The professional relationship between you and I has ended!”

While crowds cheered Donald Trump’s misogyny at this week’s GOP debate, his suggestion yesterday that moderator Megyn Kelly had “blood coming out of her wherever” proved to be one ugly comment too far for fellow sexist Erick Erickson, who announced he was inviting Kelly to take Trump’s place at his influential RedState Gathering.

Those expecting a colossal train wreck when Donald Trump went on Don Lemon’s CNN program tonight might have ended up disappointed, but The Donald still managed to engage in his own brand of media scorched-earth campaigning after a debate in which the edge was clearly against him.

The post-debate consensus is in: “Fox News Moderators Bring a Sharpened Edge to the Republican Debate Stage,” raves the Times. They proved the haters wrong!

Shortly after Donald Trump, a wispy corn husk wrapped around several stacks of sequential hundreds, announced his run for president in June, he suggested his nominee for Secretary of the Treasury would be billionaire businessman Carl Icahn. Icahn initially said he wasn’t interested, but after seeing Trump at last night’s GOP debate, has apparently changed his mind.

After attacking Rosie O’Donnell earlier in tonight’s debate, Donald Trump turned his focus to Hillary Clinton. “I gave to many people,” Trump said, defending his political donations to candidates from both parties before explaining what he got in return. “With Hillary Clinton I said be at my wedding, and she came to my wedding,” he said. “She had no choice because I gave.”

Megyn Kelly asks Trump: “You’ve called women you don’t like, ‘fat pigs,’ ‘dogs,’ ‘slobs,’ and ‘disgusting animals’...” He interrupts her to clarify, “Only Rosie O’Donnell.”

Do we have Bill Clinton to blame for Donald Trump? According to a report in the Washington Post, Bill called the walking power suit in May, just as Donald was mulling a 2016 run, in which Clinton encouraged him to play a larger role within his party. Joke’s on you, Republicans.

It’s time. Tomorrow night, at 9 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time, ten drunk clowns are going to fight with each other on national television for the chance to make wildly important decisions that affect each and every one of our livelihoods. It is going to be a god damn masterpiece.

Last month, American reality show entertainer turned American political system entertainer Donald Trump publicized presidential rival Sen. Lindsey Graham’s cell number, urging his supporters to “try it.” In the spirit of open and fair political debate, we now bring you Trump’s number.

After racist Truther status updates were found on his Facebook, part-time Donald Trump advisor Sam Nunberg “is no longer affiliated” with the leading Republican presidential candidate’s campaign. Nunberg had been rehired after resigning last year, following his coordination of a disastrous Buzzfeed profile.

The first mention of Donald Trump in the New York Times was on October 17, 1973, in a front-page story on a Department of Justice lawsuit against Trump and his father, charging them with violation of the Fair Housing Act of 1968: “Major Landlord Accused of Antiblack Bias in City.”

“Earlier this year, ‘Trump for President, LLC’ trademarked ‘Trumpocrat’ and ‘Trumpublican.’ The possible uses included ‘salt and pepper shakers; posters; shirts; ties; cufflinks; colognes; chocolate; nameplates; key rings; eye wear; playing cards; surfboards; editions of automobiles’ and more.”

During Donald Trump’s 1992 divorce proceedings, his wife provided a deposition that detailed an upsetting, ugly sexual assault. The episode was recounted in Lost Tycoon, a gossipy biography that’s now out of print—but you can read it right here.

It’s safe, at this point, to say that presidential candidate and human Kewpie doll Donald Trump is not a fan of Mexico or its people. But surely he has some begrudging respect—or even admiration—for women with functioning breasts? It might surprise you to learn—or maybe it won’t—but he’s not a fan of those either.

A new article in the Daily Beast resurfaces a very old and very ugly allegation: seemingly impossible GOP frontrunner Donald Trump was once accused of angrily raping his former wife, Ivana Trump, during a bedroom dispute. But what’s almost as shocking as the early-90s rape claim is the Trump legal team 2015 response.

Creepy Waving Cemetery Clown would be the most widely appealing of the 19 current GOP candidates.

After catching quite a bit of flak for questioning John McCain’s warrior bonafides, Donald Trump assembled a coalition called the Veterans for Trump. The relevant press release included a list of names of veterans, some of whom have now denied, to The Guardian, that they were consulted at all.

Failed Sharper Image meat peddler and godsend to the Republican primaries Donald Trump is sad. The reason Donald Trump is sad is because the largest newspaper in Iowa recently called him both a “bloviating side show” and a “feckless blowhard.” So Trump is doing the only sensible thing: Banning the newspaper entirely.