Bobby Jindal and whatever remaining social media-literate staff he has left have spent the last 24 hours doing their best impression of a Trump smear campaign, calling the time-displaced Sopranos extra “not serious,” “a narcissist, “an egomaniac,” “a carnival act,” “a very weak and small person,” and “dangerous.” All of which are both true and perhaps some of the most honest, biting, and uninhibited criticism of Trump to come from a GOP candidate yet—from a proud anti-gay exorcist, no less.

Woody Allen impersonator and incessant tweeter Donald Trump has a lot to say to the losers and haters of the world. But apparently, that list no longer includes his wishes for a pleasant 9/11. Because in a devastating blow to both losers and haters everywhere, Donald Trump has deleted his most magnanimous of 9/11 tweets.

“I like it. A lot of good things. I don’t want to talk to you now, but lot of good things. A lot of good points,” said Donald Trump, man of principle, when Reason asked for his views on Libertarianism yesterday. When asked to name a single specific thing he likes about the ideology, Trump demurred.

Judging by their use of “It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” at a Tea Party rally today, Republican presidential candidates Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are huge fans of seminal alt-rockers R.E.M. Unfortunately for them, the feeling isn’t mutual.

Hello, Donald Trump supporters. Donald Trump believes that you are very fucking dumb. And you are proving him correct.

On Thursday, cursed Halloween mask Donald Trump swore himself to the GOP, signing a non-binding pledge that he would never, never ever run as an independent candidate should he not win the party’s nomination, even if he felt like it and changed his mind later.

In one of the most simultaneously bleak and fawning ten minutes of television I have ever seen, former candidate for Vice President of the United States and current off-brand Fox News (OAN) personality Sarah Palin interviewed everyone’s favorite screaming steamed carrot, Donald Trump.

Miley Cyrus is hosting this year’s MTV Video Music Awards, which, you may or may not be aware, airs this Sunday. In honor of the event, she did an interview with the New York Times, in which she reveals that future two-term president Donald Trump personally called her up to say how much he loved her much-derided 2013 VMA performance with a man named Robin Thicke.

On Tuesday, Donald Trump’s security temporarily removed Univision anchor Jorge Ramos from a press conference in Iowa after the journalist tried to confront the presidential candidate about his immigration policy without being called on.

“‘We know his goal is to make America great again,’ a woman said. ‘It’s on his hat.’”

“Trump has built a broad, demographically and ideologically diverse coalition, constructed around personality, not substance, that bridges demographic and political divides,” the New York Times reports. “Trumpism...is an attitude, not an ideology.” Trumpism! Oh no help.

It’s easy to look at the pair of Boston brothers who allegedly beat a homeless man in a xenophobic attack apparently inspired by Donald Trump’s rhetoric and think, Wow... racist criminals. Donald Trump, however, is much more charitable than you or I.

Noted Donald Trump enthusiast Donald Trump lied to a group of children yesterday during an incredible series of events that played out like the bleakest of CNN wet dreams. In a video posted to Facebook, a boy points a camera at the petulant clown running for president and asks, point-blank, if he is Batman. Trump’s response: “I am Batman.”

Here are some things that Donald Trump, a Ralph Steadman illustration come to life, who arrived at the Iowa State Fair this weekend by helicopter and who apparently isn’t going away anytime soon, said this weekend.

“The Iowa State Fair won’t allow Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump to give kids free rides on his helicopter on fairgrounds, but the real estate developer has secured a nearby location. The helicopter will take off from a parking lot outside the fair.”

Donald Trump, speaking in Michigan Tuesday: “Jeb Bush or Hillary, or one of these politicians, all controlled by lobbyists and special interests—and donors, people like me from previous months—total control. Bing bing, bong bong bong, bing bing. You know what that is, right?”

Is Donald Trump a complete moron? Most evidence suggests “yes.” On the issue of Planned Parenthood, however, Trump appears to only be semi-moronic, a fact the organization celebrated today in the saddest quasi-endorsement ever.

Gabriel Sherman of New York magazine has a lengthy report about Donald Trump’s tense relationship with Fox News and its star anchor Megyn Kelly, whom Trump recently accused of unfairly targeting him during last Thursday’s televised debate (during which, Trump seemed to allege, Kelly had been menstruating). The internal conflict—placing Kelly and Trump in competition for the approval of Fox boss Roger Ailes—has apparently gotten so toxic that Trump supporters have begun threatening Kelly’s life:

On Sunday, Donald Trump continued to deny there was anything sexist about his “blood coming out of her wherever” comment, boldly claiming that he, in fact, “cherishes” women.