Tonight, there is a pile of meat sitting next to the stage from which Donald Trump will address his supporters following the Republican primaries. The exact provenance and purpose of the steaks is unclear at this time, although Trump aides are telling reporters that they are Trump Steaks.

What we have here is some footage of a good boy such a good boy who’s my sweet little puppy boy yes you are who made his way into a Donald Trump rally in Florida over the weekend. The owner of this little pupperoo tried to make him raise his right paw and take the creepy Trump loyalty oath, but the pupperoo wasn’t having it.

Yesterday, Donald Trump released a video attempting to refute the fraud charges levied against the scam formerly known as Trump University. But rather than offer any real answers, Trump’s video only raises more questions. Specifically, why can’t purported billionaire Donald Trump afford better sound equipment?

Pretty much everyone agreed that Mittens “Glittens” Romney’s last ditch attempt at dethroning Trump last week was doomed from the beginning. Romney is the very embodiment of the slick GOP establishment Trump is tearing apart—how could a condemnation from him do anything to sway Trump’s supporters? But the worst that could have happened was a waste of Mitt’s time, with no minds changed, so why not? Right? Right?

At 7:54 p.m. yesterday, National Review reported that the odious Ted Cruz was set to receive endorsements from four of his Senate colleagues this week. An hour later, the magazine corrected the entire report, calling it “erroneous.”

With less than a week to go before a strike deadline, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has decided that he needs a break, and will be taking a vacation with his wife of 30 years, Mary Pat Christie. Their anniversary is Tuesday.

Immigrants are applying to become naturalized U.S. citizens at unprecedented rates, the New York Times reports, largely in response to Donald Trump. The pace of applications is gathering speed weekly: There could be as many as a million by the end of 2016—about 200,000 more than the average.

This weekend, an adult at a Donald Trump rally was briefly fed by hand, as one might do to small baby, unable to do much on its own.

Ted Cruz has a new theory: the American political media is in possession of “bombshell” stories about Donald Trump that could ruin him, but are choosing to not publish them for some reason. Ted, I’m here to tell you: we’ve got nothing, and we’re all really fucking freaked out about it.

Throughout his presidential campaign, Donald Trump has fixated on China’s increasing economic influence as exemplary of America’s failure to win anymore. He has not, however, thus far mentioned Chinese investors’ involvement in financing a Trump-branded tower in New Jersey being built by his son-in-law.

On Thursday, Mitt Romney (unfortunately) made a speech condemning Donald Trump as a bully and a fraud. But as NBC’s Chuck Todd pointed out on Sunday, when accepting the real estate developer’s endorsement in 2012 Romney spoke glowingly of Trump’s character and business acumen.

Ted Cruz is concerned with many issues, foremost among them is not the size of Donald Trump’s tiny trump.

With the threat of a perhaps the worst presidential candidate in history actually getting elected looming, groups are doing everything they can to stop Donald Trump’s rise.

Donald Trump wants Ted Cruz all to himself, probably in a closed-off room with no cameras and soft lighting.

Sometimes parody is too real to be funny—too accurate and terrifying and nightmarish to make you laugh. This week’s ‘Saturday Night Live’ cold open is just that: too, too real.

At CPAC, shirts are red, people are very predominantly white and “blue lives” matter. From a record attendance of well over 10,000, here are a few portraits of people who paid between $70 and $5,000 to cheer wildly for Dinesh D’Souzas’ new movie trailer and boo about “the Donald Trumps of the left,” whoever they might be.

Thousands of supporters line up to stare adoringly at their supreme leader, who, without reproach, spews forth racist mantras from his hateful, angry mouth. They raise their right hands to salute, blindly following their führer.

Conservative talk show host Glenn Beck is under investigation for allegedly threatening to kill Donald Trump with a knife.

Several protesters were dragged out of a Donald Trump rally in New Orleans last night by his security personnel. Rally attendants yelled “all lives matter” and shoved them as they were being forcibly ejected.

“How would you spell that? L-Y-E-N, with a big apostrophe,” said Donald Trump, a man who is dangerously close to leading a country of 300 million.