Due to environmental and societal factors, the subjects of the most important sociological experiment of our time—the eight guidos on MTV's Jersey Shore—were forced to leave their native habitat and migrate to Miami. The results were amazing.

The second season of Jersey Shore starts tonight. Yay! What if you didn't watch the first season? What if you just need to brush up on your guido particulars? What if you want some inside scoop? We've got you covered.

Even better than his yearbook photo is this family portrait of Jersey Shore's The Situation and his siblings from MTV's When I Was 17. How did he let his sister block his abs? Bonus shot of DJ Paulie D inside.

We know many of you don't have speakers (or headphones) at work, but you need to see the new promo for Jersey Shore. The version with sound's below, but we also have a silent interpretation for the rest of you.

We figured DJ Paulie Disco would be the first of MTV's guidos to land a recording contract, but TMZ got their hands on a snippet of The Situation's single. It's sort of like a Snooki punch to your eardrums.

If you want to join MTV's ongoing reality madness, you're in luck: Open casting calls for Jersey Shore are scheduled for Sunday in Las Vegas and Atlantic City. Getting on the show won't be easy though. Here are some tips.

One of the many takeaways from this awesome profile of Doron Ofir, the casting director behind Jersey Shore and countless others, is that he's looking for a whole new cast for the show's third season. First they came for Snooki...

MTV just dropped the biggest awesome bomb ever. After a trip to Miami, everyone will return to the original house in Seaside Heights. The premiere date is set, and guess who is along for the ride?

What is going on with LiLo's shoes? Kate Winslet is haunted by the ghost of relationships past. Sandra Bullock abandoned her house too. Gerard Butler's hands wander frighteningly. Demi Moore shrieks on Twitter. Monday's gossip is scared senseless.

All day hipster fashion photographer Terry Richardson has been tweeting out takes from his shoot with the guys of Jersey Shore for Interview magazine. If these guidos weren't in on their own joke to begin with, they are now.

Jersey Shore is already so incredibly obvious that the jokes about it are just too easy and often unfunny. How does the porn movie based on the show measure up? It is both terrible and amazing. Safe(ish) for work!

Meredith Vieira tried her damnedest to understand the Jersey Shore this morning. She can't. The problem is that she tried to in the first place, and about a month behind schedule. When will the olds learn?

The Jersey Shore cast is currently demanding lots of cash to return for season two. However, by playing renegotiation hardball, the guidos and guidettes have given MTV the perfect opportunity to bring back the best and boot the rest.

It is with a heavy heart that we must end the most important sociological experiment of our time. For all that we have learned we are, there is still so much left unanswered about these mystical creatures.

We have hung on every ridiculous word uttered by the guidos of the Jersey Shore. Tonight is their final episode (for now) and in celebration we have a collection of their best sayings.

Now that Snooki, The Situation, and crew have leaped off the screen and into our real lives with public and club appearances, are reports of their wanton ways going to screw up MTV's newest hit? Maybe.

For all the straights people out there who don't know, Guys with iPhones is a website that houses thousand of pictures of men holding a phone and often wearing little else. How has it become a magnet for B-list nudes?

For the most important sociological experiment of our time, we must observe our seven guidos not only in environments they are comfortable in, but abroad as well. Still, it as in their native habitat where they truly flourish.

The Situation's yearbook photo (sent in by a reader) is even more hysterical than the laughably bad pictures of him in his male stripper days. We may get better, nakeder pictures of one of his castmates mighty soon. Guess who...

The guidos of coastal New Jersey can't really be called a peace-loving tribe, but when battle is done, it is usually for good reason and because one party is provoked. Sometimes it's just cause they're drunk. Either way—fascinating.