Jersey Shore is already so incredibly obvious that the jokes about it are just too easy and often unfunny. How does the porn movie based on the show measure up? It is both terrible and amazing. Safe(ish) for work!

The porn industry is currently obsessed with parodying famous television shows and turning them into smut. (Our friends at Fleshbot actually got the porn based on Intervention in the mail yesterday.) It was inevitable that a Jersey Shore porn would surface. Now it has. And we have a copy of Zero Tolerance's Official Jersey Shore Parody.com. (The title may seem like a gag, but it's very real. If you're not convinced, click here or here. If I have to tell you those are NSFW, then you are stupider than JWOWW on a ketamine bender.)

The thing about making a porn satire of Jersey Shore is that both guidos and porn actors have been given the same stereotypes—vain men, stupid women, slutty antics, drug and alcohol abuse, rampant STDs, etc. So it's hard to have one make a comment on the other without making a comment on itself or missing the punchline altogether.

Official Jersey Shore Parody.com is both dead-on and spectacularly off-base. While we get some lines and scenarios taken directly from the show, there is also a whole scene about DJ Paulie Doppleganger eating his "spaghetts" that is groan-inducing because it both has nothing to do with his character and is repeated so often it makes us want to vomit up the gabagool we had for lunch.

We've compiled some Safe For Work (except for language!) clips from the film, along with what the actors did to make us pump a fist or just make us hang our heads in shame:


The Set Up: Vinnie and Ronnie are the first ones to meet in the house while Sammi and Snooki come in to meet them.
The Punchline: Vinnie and Ronnie get so into "beating up the beat" that Ronnie punches Vinnie in the head.
Authenticity: First of all, Ronnie would never show off his abs; that's The Situation. Secondly, there is no "house music" to invite them to the battle ground for some fist pumping. Nevertheless, we're sure this exact scenario happened more than once at Karma.
Hilarity: 7


The Set Up: Ronnie meets Sammi for the first time.
The Punchline: Sammi is a stupid slut.
Authenticity: While Sammi is less than a sweetheart, she would never put out unless some boys fought over her first. Also, she looks more like Trash Bags and is behaving more like ShamWOWW. Still, her lines sound exactly like something one of the JS girls would say.
Hilarity: 8


The Set Up: No one will sleep with Snooki, so she comes on to The Situation in the hot tub. He won't do it with her either, and sends her to get him more beer.
The Punchline: He calls her a hobbit.
Authenticity: This scene pretty much happened, but The Situation's accent is too belligerently heavy. Also, people are calling Snooki a "hobbit" and "Frodo" throughout the whole movie. Once is funny. Twenty times, not so much.
Hilarity: 6. It's not nearly as funny as when naked Snooki does back flips in a nightclub with her coochie hanging out, but, alas, we're trying to keep this above the belt.


The Set Up: Trash Bags doesn't want to work, so she calls her mom to bitch about her job. Her boss shows up to cuss her out.
The Punchline: She is lazy, she does "important things" as a bartender, the house is filthy, she is stupid. All funny. That she beats him up and forces him to have sex with her? That he looks like he dressed himself from the bargain basement at Marshalls? Not so funny. Also, weird.
Authenticity: This is pretty much the way it happened, but would it have killed them to do it in the bathroom? And they couldn't afford a duck phone? Come on!
Hilarity: 5


The Set Up: DJ Paulie Dick and Vinnie tease Snooki about being a retarded hobbit who no one wants to sleep with. Snooki's mom (?) forces them to have sex. And then she joins in.
The Punchline: We're not quite sure.
Authenticity: This whole thing is wrong, especially because Snooki is destined to never get laid! Plus Snooki's mom in real life is a dumpy white lady who is not into being a guidette. After these two guys get on Snooki and her mom, then two other dudes show up and each lady gets tag-teamed (this is after The Situation and Ronnie tag team a girl in a previous scene). The only thing that's real about this is that the boys pretend to be into the ladies, but would rather be touching each other.
Hilarity: 1