Whoops. The icing maker that comes with Play-Doh's Sweet Shoppe Cake Mountain Playset (retail price: $20) looks 100 percent like a veiny dick.

The below photo of a dick is allegedly a screengrab from the Usher Raymond sex tape that an anonymous seller was shopping around last month. The tape, a home movie starring Usher and his Atlanta Ex-wife Tameka Raymond, supposedly leaked when a video camera was stolen from the singer's car since 2010, and his lawyer has been trying to prevent its release.

A high-quality rip of Gone Girl has found its way to the internet. Do you know what that means? Ben Affleck's dick has leaked.

Mario Alberto Lizalde Reyes turned himself into Chihuahua, Mexico police the day after he allegedly shot his best friend Mario Hernandez Banda dead, cut off his penis, and fed the severed organ to his dog.

Prosecutors say a New Jersey cop was too busy showing off his dick to arrest drunk drivers.

Big-ass dicks—huh! What are they good for? Absolutely nothing, according to the true confessions of little-dick enthusiast Monique Anderson. Well, to each her (or his) own in matters of dick physics and aesthetics, but she brings up some good points here.

A Macedonian man sliced off his own dick and and threw it away after his girlfriend broke up with him, citing dissatisfying sex. The man believed his small penis was to blame for the failed relationship, reports every site in the tabloidosphere.

Ever since TV meteorologists gained the power to draw on their digital maps, they've been inadvertently—and sometimes intentionally—drawing dicks. Jimmy Kimmel finally caught onto this long-running phenomenon and assigned a staffer to cover the rapidly expanding weatherdick beat.

I received a dick tip today regarding the picture above (via James Franco's Instagram), which was taken while Franco and Seth Rogen filmed Naked and Afraid:

With all of the sharp edges floating around society today, the risk of penis-severing has never been higher. Fortunately for mankind, researchers now say they may be close to perfecting lab-grown penises. Grown... I bet ;)

The South Sydney Rabbitohs, a rugby team partially owned by Russell Crowe, won the Australian National Rugby League championship yesterday, its first victory in 43 years. "It's all about the bunnies down here," said a Channel Nine reporter, live at the scene. Wrong. It was all about one fan's swinging dick.

According to sources who claim to be close to Jared Leto's dick, Jared Leto's dick is very large, as human dicks go, and shaped like the plumed helmet of an elite Roman guard. Although this classic American genital folktale hasn't been independently confirmed, Leto entered some new evidence into the Case of Is Jared Leto's Dick Big at a recent 30 Seconds to Mars Show.

The war between recliners and legroomers is escalating—for the second time this week, a commercial flight was forced to make an emergency landing when two passengers started to fight over the use of reclining seats.

A United Airlines flight from Newark to Denver had to land in Chicago Sunday because two passengers were acting like entitled dicks and air travel is fucking awful. At the center of the fight: A device called the Knee Defender, which prevents the seat directly in front of you from reclining.

Alexis Arquette, probably one of the top two Arquette sisters, casually mentioned earlier this month that she "had sex with Jared Leto back when I was presenting as a male," and went on to give a tantalizingly cryptic description of Leto's huge dick.

Dominique Ansel, New York City's famous Cronut inventor, has a new creation that's causing many to ask: is this a dick or what?

Dirty Bird, a Welsh fried chicken company, insists its new logo is not a penis. But is it a penis? (It is a penis.)

There is a five bedroom, four bathroom three-story condo at 5517 Oakwood Cove in Austin available for the price of $389,500. One of the bathrooms is pictured, and you can see that some changes need to be made. The wallpaper could be scrapped. The fixtures could be updated. Oh, and the dude with his dick hanging out could probably move out of the way.

A typical night in Southwest Florida: three butt-ass naked college guys broke into a burger shack looking for raw meat. They stole 60 burgers, three pounds of bacon, three red peppers, and a paddleboard from Doc's Beach House around 3 a.m. The bros (and all their meat) remain at large.

The unidentified Mercedes-driving grey-haired middle-aged California white man "wearing a white-collared shirt and aviator-style sunglasses" who killed a peacock with a pellet gun may be a strong contender for Douche of the Decade in 2020.