Charlie Sheen's crumbling marriage to Brooke Mueller is the latest in a long line of, uh, interesting hookups.

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller deny they're divorcing, even as they live apart following Sheen's domestic assault arrest, two stints in rehab, and rumors of call girl trysts. We have a copy of the couple's prenup and a possible explanation.

• Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods may remain married, after all. Tiger supposedly wants to keep the relationship together because he "wants to go back to being a golf star with major endorsements," and is hoping to convince people he's "a good family man." (Good luck with that.) As for Nordegren, she'd like to make the marriage work for the sake of their two kids and is willing to stick with Woods "even if she and Tiger live together as friends instead of lovers." This all sounds incredibly promising, doesn't it? [People, NYDN]
• Exciting news, Jersey Shore fans: MTV and the cast of the hit show are said to be close to ironing out their differences over pay, and the fist-pumping and fake tanning may return to the air as soon as this summer. [Variety]
• In other Shore news, someone is shopping around naked photos of Jenni "J-Woww" Farley despite the fact that there's very little of her body that we haven't already seen. And Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi thinks of herself as "too classy" to be seen in the vicinity of Jerry Springer. [Radar, P6]
• What's going on with Brad and Angelina? According to one report, the couple did meet meet with a lawyer last week, but it was to do a little estate planning and "protect their children and property in case there's a rift in the future," not because they're actually planning to divorce. Then again a source tells E! that Brad Pitt hasn't been showering much recently and smells "like a wandering homeless person," which probably doesn't bode well. [NYDN, People, E!]

• Kate Hudson was supposedly holding out hope that she and Alex Rodriguez would reunite one day soon. But it looks like it may be time for Kate to let the dream die. A-Rod's new flame is a "gorgeous blonde" who he met at a gym in Miami. [P6]
• In happier celebrity couple news—and after months of schmoopy public displays of affection—Katy Perry and Russell Brand are now engaged. Brand reportedly proposed while in vacation in India, a trip they decided to take after Perry expressed her love for "Indian culture while they were eating curry." [Us]
• An autopsy has been performed on Casey Johnson, the socialite and pharma heiress who was discovered dead on Monday. There weren't any signs of trauma, but more should be revealed when toxicology tests are completed. In the meantime, friends of Johnson report she went into a diabetic coma on several occasions over the past year, "spent the last months of her life in a suicidal drug haze," and had been living in squalor up until her death, since her family had cut her off. Speaking of the Johnson clan, they're planning to have a private funeral for Casey later this week. [TMZ, NYP, NYDN, People]
• In other Johnson news, she was dealing with a long list of legal problems when she died, including a lawsuit by Porsche (for failing to keep up with her car payments), and another suit by a nanny service (which claimed it was owed money). As for fame addict Tila Tequila, her alleged fiancée, she's been busy posting to Twitter, recounting the "haunting visions" she's been having of Johnson and how they "made such a lovely couple." [TMZ, NYP, Us]

• Friends worry Jessica Simpson is "at the lowest point of her life" now that she's lost her beloved dog, Daisy. Others say she's coping "better than her friends may realize." Either way, we she's probably feeling much better now that her friends are sharing her innermost feelings with the tabloids. [People]
• The man suspected of breaking into Lindsay Lohan's house wasn't a complete stranger: The two reportedly hung out on the set of her film Labor Pains last year. The girl's not the best judge of character, as you've probably realized by now. [TMZ]
• The drugs that were prescribed to Anna Nicole Smith amounted to "pharmaceutical suicide," according to newly unsealed court documents that were obtained by the LA Times. Most disturbing: The documents also reveal that both of Anna Nicole's doctors "transgressed professional boundaries by having sexual contact with their famous patient." [LAT]
• Michelle Obama gave Barack the silent treatment at points during his campaign for president because she was pissed about all the women throwing themselves at him, according to a new book. There was even a hot young campaign aide who was mysteriously "relocated" after developing a close relationship with the President. [NYDN, P6]
• Did you catch President Obama's appearance on Letterman last night? [MTV]

Reese Witherspoon shopping with Jake Gyllenhaal at Marni on Mercer Street, and later leaving lunch at Bar Pitti ... Dave Matthews picking up breakfast from Peace and Love Cafe in Tribeca ... Will Ferrell watching a game at Yankees Stadium ... Nicole Kidman leaving her building downtown ... Jeff Goldblum and Rachel McAdams filming scenes for Morning Glory ... Whitney Port shopping with a friend downtown ... Djimon Hounsou walking by himself ... Denise Richards eating dessert at Fresco on East 52nd Street ... Robert Pattinson walking downtown with actor Tom Sturridge ... and Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez leaving 40/40 separately.

Brad and Angelina are getting married in New Orleans, Brooke Shields settled with the National Enquirer for kidnapping her mother, Mariah Carey is getting fat, Pete Doherty shot up on a commercial flight, and Denise Richards is addicted to boob jobs.

Uma Thurman arriving at her West Village townhouse ... Jennifer Aniston heading back to her hotel after leaving the set of her new movie in Chelsea ... Jessica Alba and Cash Warren pushing their baby Honor in a stroller ... Denise Richards getting out of an SUV with a cupcake in hand ... Jennifer Connelly heading into her Tribeca apartment building with her son ... Nicolas Cage showing up on the set of his new movie, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, in Brooklyn, and later filming scenes on a subway platform ... and Miranda Kerr walking downtown with a friend.

• If you've noticed Jennifer Aniston's hair looking even more perfect and shiny lately, it's not your imagination. She reportedly spent $50,000 to have her hairstylist accompany her around the world for the Marley & Me's premieres. [DM, P6]
• Britney Spears kicked off her first tour in five years with a concert in New Orleans last night. The early reviews have not been positive, in case you're wondering. [People, DM, MTV]
• Did Chris Brown and Rihanna secretly tie the knot at Diddy's Miami manse? That's what Star is claiming, since Rihanna is "looking for the husband-and-two-kids deal before she turns 25." [Star]
• Breaking! Oprah has adopted a new puppy! [Us]
• Jennifer Lopez borrowed $50,000 worth of jewelry to attend an event last week, but never gave it back. [P6]

When it comes to altering one's appearance, Photoshop has picked up where Denise Richards and Lil' Kim left off. Presenting: the heavily-altered publicity photos for the newest season of Dancing with the Stars.

Paris Hilton turns 28 today. Basketball legend Michael Jordan turns 46. Rene Russo is 55. Denise Richards is turning 38. Director Michael Bay is 44. Jerry O'Connell is celebrating his 35th. Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong is 37. Record exec Jason Flom is turning 48. Literary agent Susan Golomb is 49. And Daniel Lawrence Whitney, better known as "Larry the Cable Guy," is 46.

• Tom Cruise tried to impress a group of reporters at a press event in Brazil by speaking Spanish instead of Portuguese. Nice one, Tom. [P6]
• Etta James is no fan of Beyonce. She told a crowd in Seattle that she "can't stand" the singer, and that she "had no business" singing "At Last" at Obama's inauguration two weeks ago. Oh, and she's "gonna get her ass whupped," if she keeps singing Etta's songs, too. [NYDN, OK!]
• Paris Hilton wants to date a "big-money man" in LA, but she isn't having much success finding one who's willing to be seen with her in public. [P6]

We'll excuse you if you forgot that the Sundance Film Festival is taking place right now. Whether it's because of the recession or those scene-stealers in Washington who've been hogging the spotlight this week, this year's fest will likely go down as one of the most low-profile in recent memory. The first batch of events this past weekend turned out to be a disappointment to celeb spotters (unless you count the occasional glimpse of people like Denise Richards and Ron Jeremy, that is). And the situation didn't improve yesterday when Park City turned into a ghost town as important people jumped on jets to head to Washington and the less fortunate had to make do with watching the historic event on TV. (Pity the photogs: The dearth of A-listers, reports VF, sent "errant packs of TMZ reporters scrambling for a celebrity sighting that was nowhere to be had.")

• Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Ocleppo may have cancelled their first wedding at the last minute back in August, but it looks like the second time is the charm: The couple is reportedly getting hitched later today in a "top-secret, ultra-private" ceremony at his house in Greenwich. [NYP]
• Kanye West is supposedly thinking of moving to London next year to pursue his fashion career. [Mirror]
• Graydon Carter says he personally handles seating arrangements at the Waverly Inn. Oh, and his "three buzz words" for 2009 are "sophisticated, innovative and entitlement." [P6]
• Tragic news: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony just spent their first weekend apart since the birth of their twins. [Us]

• Donny Deutsch has been caught fooling around with a married woman. Or at least that's what hedge fund manager Andrew Sandler claims, who hired a private detective to follow his wife Lisa around and eventually scored pics of the two of them making out. [P6]
• Jennifer Aniston appears naked on the cover of the new GQ, and in the accompanying article she says her relationship with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie is like an "insane Bermuda Triangle." Meanwhile, Brad admits to the new Rolling Stone that he fell in love with Angie while he was still married to Jen. [NYP, Daily Mail]
• Rachel Zoe's rep says the only reason she's been looking so thin lately is because she "just got over the stomach flu." Right. [OK!]

♦ Madonna's neighbors in her Central Park West building aren't happy that she has turned her seventh-floor apartment into a music studio. (It was originally supposed to be an office for Guy Ritchie.) Now she stays up all night blaring music and practicing for her shows. [NYDN]
♦ Alex Rodriguez is thinking of following Madonna on tour next month when she plans to make stops in Brazil, Chile, and Argentina. [R&M]
♦ Is Jennifer Aniston secretly leaking pregnancy and marriage rumors about herself to the tabloids as a way to steal attention away from Brangelina? [MSNBC]
♦ Friends of Padma Lakshmi want everyone to know she is not a gold digger. She's a "hard-working, self-made woman" who just happens to only date extremely wealthy, older men. [P6]
♦ Peaches Geldof and Max Drummey's 97-day-old marriage may already be on the rocks. [The Sun]

♦ A "crazed" Madonna fan stormed the set of Guy Ritchie's new movie this weekend and threatened to kill him with a 12-inch knife before the 16-year-old was arrested. [Mirror, Daily Star]
♦ Is Ashley Olsen planning to marry boyfriend Justin Bartha in a secret wedding on the French Riviera? That's what the National Enquirer claims! Also: She supposedly wants Karl Lagerfeld to design her dress. [Daily Express]
♦ Joaquin Phoenix was acting "odd" and wobbly at an event in San Francisco last week, and now his friends are worried he's back to drinking and doing drugs. [P6]
♦ Beth Ostrosky and Ryan Reynolds both finished the NYC Marathon yesterday, along with about 35,000 other people. [NYDN]

E!gads: Two months ago, we learned that Denise Richards: It's Complicated had been karmically snuffed in its crib, only to have Richards herself announce a month later that it hadn't (hey, no takebacks!). Still, we were skeptical, as no official announcement had yet come from E!, and that Richards? Kinda shady! Now, though, we have bad news: The network confirmed today that It's Complicated will indeed be returning. No word, yet, on whether the hair extension budget will be upped for the second season. [Us]

When we first heard about Heather Locklear's weekend arrest for driving under the influence of a controlled substance, we were most interested in the curious detail of the sunglasses she repeatedly ran over. Turns out, the entire case is full of curious details, and here's the biggest one: the witness who placed the call to 911 is a former Us Weekly staffer who's under investigation by the FBI for hacking into the magazine's computer system to locate celebrities. Oh, and she called the paparazzi immediately after her 911 call. Oh, and she also just happens to have a lucrative partnership with Locklear rival Denise Richards! Details and her kooky 911 call, after the jump:Jossip has the goods on the ex-Us staffer, Jill Ishkanian, who had left the magazine (which she then sued) to start a paparazzi agency called Sunset Photo & News (where she was embezzled from).

♦ It seems like sending out company-wide emails ripping your co-workers is not a good idea: Pat O'Brien has been fired from The Insider. [R&M, P6]
♦ Brandon Davis has been conning his friends out of cash, but whenever anyone tries to get the money back "he starts crying and gets them to feel bad for him." [P6]
♦ Poor Ivana Trump almost had to fly coach this week. But then someone in first class switched seats, so everything turned out okay. Phew. [P6]
♦ Heather Mills is suing her former publicist—the one who very publicly dumped her and called her a "witch"—for libel. [P6]
♦ Anne Hathaway's been crashing on her parents' couch ever since she got booted from Raffaello Follieri's duplex. [In Touch]