A real life nightmare unfolded Wednesday night in Baltimore when a baboon tarantula crawled free of its carrier container while onboard an Atlanta-bound Delta flight, forcing the plane to be grounded overnight.

On Tuesday, our Father in Heaven once again demonstrated his passionate opinions about #brands, smiting a Delta 737 as it waited for takeoff at Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson Airport.

Air travel is the fucking worst, everyone agrees, but it is sometimes a necessity. And, when it is, most people just book the cheapest economy flight available to them, regardless of airline, and suck up the indignity of layovers, limited legroom, and cramped baggage space. Now, Delta has introduced an additional indignity to which you must agree before taking your place behind some seat-reclining asshole.

In the wake of widespread outrage over the killing of Cecil the lion, Delta Air Lines announced today it would no longer ship lion, leopard, elephant, rhinoceros or buffalo trophies as freight.

The government announced Friday that four major airlines—Delta, American, Southwest and JetBlue—may have temporarily raised ticket prices to take advantage of the May Amtrak crash that left eight people dead and hundreds injured.

A Delta plane skidded off a snow-covered runway at LaGuardia Airport just after 11 a.m. this morning and crashed into a fence. All 131 people onboard the flight were evacuated, and there were no reports of serious injuries. Following the crash, the airport announced that all runways are closed until at least 7 pm.

After a long weekend of promoting Acura on Instagram, Alec Baldwin was reportedly downgraded from first class to economy on his flight home. He was supposedly overheard declaring that with coach as his witness, he'd never fly Delta again, but could he running out of airlines to swear off?

The Baby Name Critic had not yet been called to service when Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard, a couple claiming to be Hollywood talents, gave life to their firstborn, a girl child unfortunately named Lincoln. If the Baby Name Critic had been writing for hire then, she might have said: Do not name your daughter after a geriatric brand of automobile/the 16th male president. Really, must we burden our young women by giving them both the first names and the surnames of men? A better solution for parents interested in honoring Lincoln's values, but also bolstering the feminist cause, would be to name your daughter after a strong woman of the Civil War era: Harriet (Tubman or Beecher Stowe!). Clara. Lucretia. All stunning names.

The expected Thanksgiving snowstorm isn't here yet, but the collapse of everyone's holiday travel plans is already underway, with Delta reporting "57 cancels planned for New York area tomorrow morning." See you in the Lincoln Tunnel!

After his prized 1965 Gibson ES-335 sustained nearly $2,000 worth of damage following a Delta flight from Buffalo to Detroit, musician Dave Schneider says the airline tried its damnedest to avoid paying up.

Dave Schneider did everything he could to get Delta to let him bring his classic 1965 Gibson ES-335 on board his flight from Buffalo, NY to Detroit — going so far as to offer to buy the guitar its own seat — but was rebuffed.

Passengers aboard a New York-bound Delta commuter flight were forced to deplane Wednesday night after Pittsburgh International Airport employees discovered a cluster of honey bees clinging to the jetliner's wing.

A pre-packaged sandwich served to a passenger on an Air Canada flight en route from Victoria to Toronto was found to contain a sewing needle not unlike the ones previously discovered aboard Delta planes.

Life in business class is better. You get to board first, so you can sneer at the tired, disheveled proles as they walk through the cabin with their sick children and burlap sacks full of poor person food. You receive free drinks, which is always the best. You have more leg room, making it easier to pass out after downing your Ambien and/or Xanax (chasing them with your free champagne, naturally). But that's not all: if you fly business class on Delta from Amsterdam to Atlanta, you also get sandwiches with needles in them.

More pets died on Delta than any other air carrier last year, according to an Air Travel Consumer Report released by the U. S. Department of Transportation earlier this week.

Honestly, we didn't really give a shit about this enormous solar storm—the largest since 2005—currently pummeling the Earth's magnetic field with protons, cutting swaths of brilliant multi-hued fire across the northern sky. Until we learned that Delta was forced to delay a few flights. That's got to be a huge pain for whoever was on those flights. Horrible.

Yesterday on Way Too Early with Willie Geist, boldly wrong journopundit Mark Halperin phoned in an appearance from the lavatory of a Delta airplane.

David Alan Anderson is not an exemplary traveler. After the 60-year-old Salt Lake City native recently boarded a Las Vegas-bound Delta flight, he immediately started elbowing the passenger seated directly next to him in an attempt to "claim" the armrest, according to a federal complaint. That led to Anderson putting his "foot on the passenger's leg," to which the passenger responded: "Sir, you are going to have to move over."

Hello, everyone! I hope you had a relaxing weekend and are fully recharged for the work week ahead. In the chance that you still have a few residual kinks left, however, please now enjoy this footage of a bat flapping around the cabin of a Madison to Atlanta Delta flight, filmed shortly after takeoff at 6:45 a.m. on August 5. Passengers were able to trap it in the bathroom until the plane could turn back around and land, but it unfortunately escaped before animal control could test it for rabies and/or vampire rabies. Enjoy! (And please, no Samuel Jackson quotes — they just detract from the zen. We thank you in advance for your cooperation.) [via io9]

Staff Sergeant Robert O'Hair just returned home from Afghanistan along with the rest of his unit, though with lighter pockets. Why? Because Delta Airlines charged 14 of them an extra $200 each to check a fourth bag. In the video above, O'Hair and a colleague explain how they were treated by the airline.