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· While underappreciated Aaron Sorkin masterwork Studio 60 was not, as we falsely represented earlier, a nominee for the Best Drama Emmy, the show did pull in a respectable five nods, including one for Eli Wallach in the role of Blacklisted, Alzheimer's Afflicted Writer Who Tries to Steal a Photograph That Has Meaning to Him. [Variety]
· Hollywood NepotismWatch: Shari Redstone, daughter of semi-mummified Viacom overlord Sumner Redstone, may leave the board of the company over a "falling out," though her spokesperson denies she's going anywhere, "even if she has to wait another 300 years for the old man to collapse into a pile of dust in his desk chair" to finally get control of his empire. [THR]
· Ray Liotta now old enough to play Jessica Biel's father. Oh, how the years fly by! [Variety]
· A two-hours So You Think You Can Dance handily defeats ABC's talent-show block of Do People Really Do Celebrity Impressions Anymore? and Insane Asylum Show and Tell: The Search For America's Next Top Inventor. [THR]
· Emmy voters virtually ignore network abomination The CW, which earned a single nom for sound editing in Smallville. [Variety]

Despite a looming $100 million lawsuit, Dateline's tireless efforts to rid our communities of horny teen-diddlers continued last night with another edition of To Catch A Predator. Among their quarry, genetically blessed 29-year-old chat-room occupant "lovermangenuis" (pronounced LUV-er man-JYE-nuz). Enjoy the always wonderful To Catch A Predator Players' stirring performance of the budding lovers' online exchange, wondering all the while what it is about having your bodybuilding and junk-spotlighting glamour photos splashed all over primetime TV in pursuit of some sweet and slow teeny-bopper action might drive someone to suicide.

Competing agencies scoff at CAA's surprisingly progressive program in which it pauses from scorching the bottoms of its assistants' feet with a hot fireplace poker long enough to allow them to pitch projects to clients (which recently resulted in a comedy sale to Imagine superproducer Brian Grazer), fearing that such humane shenanigans could interfere with the call-rollers' development into perfect killing machines. [THR]

The Emmy announcements are no exception to the time-worn awards show tradition of news outlets eliciting statements from the newly shortlisted artists—asking them, still dizzy from their gold-star high, to try as best as they can to put into words what it feels like to be recognized as more talented than their peers. (Until the night of the ceremony, that is, when four of the five are again reminded of their mediocrity.) We present a round-up of some of the most memorable, "it's just an honor to be mentioned in the same breath as Two and a Half Men" reactions:
· "This is an outrage." - Tina Fey [Variety]
· Nomination presenter Kyra Sedgwick deconstructs the existential dilemma of having to read one's own name off the TelePrompter: "It was pretty nauseating. I couldn't believe they wouldn't tell us before!I just thought, if I won't be nominated, I'll take a deep breath and be grateful I'm there to announce. It was a surprise." [USA Today]

Behold Tom Cruise, would-be assassin of Hitler. RopeOfSilicone.com has early publicity photos from Valkyrie, the ongoing Cruise project that notably clashed with the German government over its desire to flood sites of historical, Nazi-hunting import with Hollywood movie magic, an imbroglio that was either logistical or Scientological in nature, depending on which Teutonic official was quoted. Still, even if there's an institutional fear of totalitarianism in post-WWII Germany, any fears of a Scientology takeover should be dispelled by the image of Cruise in uniform, who looks way too adorable in his eyepatch and funny hat to lead any kind of credible invasion.

With outrage over Isaiah Washington's unexpected casting in Bionic Woman fading, a new, and dare we say much more interesting, controversy is materializing at the TCAs over Kid Nation, CBS's attempt to inject some much-needed Lord of the Flies-style fun into their Fall schedule. Earlier, TV Week reported on how the producers took advantage of subsequently tightened loopholes in New Mexico's child labor laws and classified the production as a "summer camp" (summer camps, after all, are totally fun, and not at all child-exploiting places of employment) to get the show done; today, ABC News asks a psychologist to opine on how the impressionable minds of these campers might be impacted by the stresses of reality TV:

We have, on more than one occasion, referred to the Emmys as "Oscar's paste-eating cousin," but even Hollywood's touched-in-the-head awards-proferring youngster gets his turn in the spotlight once in a while, and early this morning a legion of entertainment reporters were invited over to look at the names of the nominees he has sloppily finger-painted on some handy poster board, tousling the well-meaning tyke's hair as he noisily smacked away on a fresh mouthful of his beloved, adhesive snack. Their best guess at transcribing his illegible—but brightly rendered—scribblings reveals that mad-for-HBO movie Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee was the most nominated of any program, garnering a staggering™ 17 nods, while the network's The Sopranos, the retiring series that tried to lessen the blow of depriving us of the Greatest Television Show Of All Time by reintroducing us to the genius of Journey, earned 15 nominations, including recognition in various acting categories for Tony, Carmela, Christopher, Janice, and Dr. Melfi. (Sadly, it seems that an inspired late push for The Kid Who Pooped in the Shower fell short.)

· Bill and Hillary were the Seth Rogen and Bryce Dallas Howard of their day! (Alternate suggestion: Chewbacca/Carrie Fisher.)
· James Woods thinks the problem isn't Isaiah Washington's big mouth, it's Grey's Anatomy's miserable set. Gay slurs fly fast and free among Shark's big happy family, and no one gives it a second thought.
· We're confident that the actual Jon Lovitz/Andy Dick Smackdown was a lot more exciting than John Henson's action figure reenactment on TV Guide channel. (Side note: The girl playing Andy Dick has the voice-register right, but needs to work more on the slurring and asking-strangers-for-blow part.)
· Canadians: Our extremely easy-to-please neighbors to the north.
· And finally, it's Geometry Fun Time! Brought to you by Subway cheese slices.

Some of the highly questionable methods employed by Dateline NBC in order to bring audiences To Catch A Predator have already been revealed in a lawsuit brought against the network by a disgruntled former producer. But while the series has unearthed scores of alleged "sex offenders" in its underage internet sex stings, it can only truly add one notch to its belt: a Texas prosecutor who shot himself in the head moments before he was tackled by Chris Hansen and his overzealous friends from local law enforcement. Now, the dead prosecutor's sister is suing NBC for $100 million:

Hoping to finally close the Case of the Vanishing Criminal Minds Star, reporters at today's CBS Television Critics Association panel confronted president Nina Tassler about the exact nature of the "creative differences" that might induce an actor to flee a successful series without explanation. Clarified Tassler:

Predicting tomorrow's Emmy nominations: kind of like predicting which animated sports car is going to win the Dodge Stadium scoreboard race, but a lot less fun. [The Envelope]

·: Music round-up: The Polyphonic Spree at the El Rey; Lavender Diamond at the Echo; The Fray with Gomez and Eisley at the Greek.
· OutFest heads to the Ford Theatrer for its Under the Stars screenings, tonight featuring Shelter, the "sex-drenched story of San Pedro surfer dudes in love."
· Former Korn member Brian "Head" Welch signs Save Me From Myself: How I Found God, Quit Korn, Kicked Drugs, and Lived to Tell My Story, his account of how he accomplished all of those aforementioned redemption goals, at Book Soup.

A reader angry over the unexpected eye-diddling he received from the seemingly crazed Alan Arkin, his gang of tiny pals, and a scrapie-afflicted sheep emerging from page 7 of today's Variety wrote in a little while ago to request that we share with the world "the ugliest, most confusing, bizarre movie ad I've ever seen. It looks like it was designed by a Bollywood crack-addict."

Looking more and more in recent months like the living embodiment of a Bratz doll after a vengeful little brother has had his way with it, it's all too obvious to even the most casual of observer that former chart-topper Britney Spears has come undone. The singer regularly succumbs to manic-depressive episodes that see her indulging in marathon tube-top and fedora shopping sprees one moment, then savagely maiming a defenseless SUV with an umbrella the next. Star magazine now reports that the story has only grown more bleak, describing a "slapfest" between Britney and her mother:

Because we fear we may have failed in adequately relating the horrors of the coming Hollywood labor war by trying to put a cherubic face on the issues at stake, we pass along this explanatory clip from CNBC's Media Money. If an attractive woman reading aloud from the WGA and AMPTP's bellicose statements (did anyone else get totally hot at the way "Draconian restrictions" rolled off her tongue?) while standing in the middle of Universal CityWalk (or is that the Grove?) doesn't open your eyes to what's going on, nothing will.

"TORI SPELLING SPOKE EXCLUSIVELY WITH ET ABOUT" [ET Online]

"I thought you might be interested to know that KSAZ FOX10's Andrea Robinson was proposed to during yesterday's FOX 10 Arizona Morning. During her live report, her fiancé surprised her and got down on one knee to propose to her. Please see below for a link to the proposal. Please let me know if you are interested in posting anything on this." [MyFoxPhoenix.com]

Having already signed on to reprise her role as horny, nouveau-riche plastic surgery addict Dawn Budge in Nip/Tuck's upcoming season, Rosie O'Donnell's primetime prospects continue to grow: First, with an invitation to appear on the Ben Silverman-masterminded celebrity edition of The Apprentice, and now, with an offer from struggling-yet-beloved NBC drama Friday Night Lights. TVGuide.com has the exclusive:

Names an outraged TMZ.com has called alleged cameraman assailant Gary Dourdan so far this morning: "c**ksucker [sic]," "douchebag," and "jerkoff." [TMZ]