We don't know how Tyra Banks managed to unmask seemingly wholesome, secretly Fez-fucking actress Mandy Moore as the crass-mouthed vulgarian she really is. That said, enjoy this The Tyra Banks Show clip of the License to Wed star spewing a stream of profanities that would peel the paint off a truckstop bathroom—a fountain of filth that surely kept their beep-adding and mouth-digitizing post-production team working overtime.

As George and his A-list Clooneyites take a step back from electioneering, the resulting vacuum has found an unlikely demographic with which to fill the celebrity-grandstanding void: Hollywood's young starlets, whom, inspired by their patron saint Angelina Jolie's willingness to get her hands dirty with some face-to-face human suffering along her far-flung orphan-collecting travels, have now taken it upon themselves to do more for their own pet causes. The LAT reports:

The world of professional pageanteering is not for the faint-hearted, where fierce competition for a coveted crown has led many an unsuspecting beauty queen to fall victim to cyanide-laced Vaseline poisonings and slipped-mickey stupid pills that cause them to blabber incoherently about the sorry state of U.S. American education. Thankfully, Ingrid Marie Rivera managed to survive her sabotage attempts and go on to take the Miss Puerto Rico Universe 2008 title, but not before succumbing to a severe allergic reaction after her gowns were doused backstage in pepper spray:

At the NY Comedy Festival, Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence reveals why Least Favorite Guest Star (but "nice person") Tara Reid's arc on the sitcom didn't stretch a few episodes longer. (Hint: the smell of cigarettes and booze are involved.) [Rush & Molloy]

Actor/writer/onetime TV quizmaster Ben Stein laments the imminent shuttering of his favorite L.A. power eatery, where he went to observe the restaurant's A-list patrons, become entangled in feuds with Joan Rivers, and get ignored by a new generation of celebrity trainwrecks: "At its peak, however, Morton's was the ultimate. In 1994, it moved across the street, and it was better than ever, with more space between tables, more light and, best of all, it was open for lunch. In fact, it was at lunch there that I saw and fell hopelessly in love with Britney Spears. (She ignored me.) BUT times change. I have no idea where the beautiful people went, but fewer of them were going to Morton's. (Many big players now have their own chefs.) It still drew a rich crowd, but not the famous crowd it used to have, and the gorgeous girls who used to be at the bar were gone. [NY Times]

Responding to a query about how he so convincingly portrayed a vomiting fit in We Own the Night, method actor and occasional frog-envisioning, red carpet hallucinator Joaquin Phoenix explains his ralfing technique: "You take a lot of cereal, you drink a lot of milk and you pound down two waters in a row and you jump up and down and you put your hand down your throat and you wiggle it all around until you vomit." [pr-inside.com]

· Music round-up: Band of Horses at the Glass House in Pomoina; Softlightes at Echoplex; Casxio at the Silverlake Lounge; Ky-Mani Marley (of the world-famous reggae Marleys) at Amoeba.
· If you're downtown, hurry over to the Music Center Plaza and watch as NBC's Fritz Coleman helps kick off the municipal Christmas season at LA County's official tree-lighting ceremony. Suck it, Grove.
· LACMA hosts a preview screening of Julian Schabel's The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, his critically beloved biopic about stroke-paralyzed French Elle editor Jean-Dominique Bauby. [via flavorpill]

While we eagerly await Fox's higher budget, more ambitious attempts at pushing the reality-TV envelope this January (we just took the fourth episode for the show's first heart explosion in the Defamer office pool), VH1 will soon be offering the kind of low-grade, humiliation-based programming that will get us to The Moment of Truth's premiere. Fishbowl LA directs us to these promotional "home videos" from the network's upcoming Celebrity Rehab series featuring two of the show's nine C-list guinea pigs (Taxi's Jeff Conaway! A guy from Crazytown we don't recognize!) simulating the destructive, drug-abusing behavior only a team of caring Celebreality producers and their unflinching camera can help them eradicate.

What seems to be the going rate for a slightly used WGA picket sign on eBay? An auction for one of the Guild's stock signs closed at $68 yesterday, but we imagine that if someone wanted to supplement her college strike fund by making one of the more creative efforts seen at the rallies available, the bidding would quickly reach the quadruple digits. [eBay]

Following a very successful Thanksgiving Friday run monitoring The Grove's fountain with a live webcam in case a celebrity strolled by and paused from shopping long enough to gawk at its majestic dancing waters, TMZ is—right now!—STREAMING LIVE from in front of Kitson on Robertson Blvd. While the site says that it's already caught Paris Hilton and some paparazzi on the stream, their fingers are undoubtedly crossed that the stakeout might yield something more exciting for reuse on tonight's installment of TMZ TV, like Hilton's Bentley crashing through the boutique's window, fittingly injuring some tourists buying an autographed tube of the heiress's Can-Can body lotion.

Like every other famous actress confronted with the question of what other famous actress she'd like to get it on with, Hayden Panettiere tells GQ she chooses Angelina Jolie. We're just relieved to again see a smile on the world- and dolphin-saving cheerleader's face as she bites down seductively on a necklace in this behind-the-scenes video of her Lolita-inspired fashion shoot. [thesun.co.uk]

In a mere two months, Fox President of Alternative Entertainment and Apocalypse-Beckoning Nonscripted Programming Mike Darnell will proudly debut his latest reality-TV abomination, The Moment of Truth, in which contestants are hooked up to a polygraph, asked a number of revealing personal questions, and then watch as their lives quickly disintegrate when millions of viewers listen to them sheepishly admit that they're no longer sexually attracted to their aging spouses. In an interview with TV Week, a giddy, tumescent Darnell shares that his naughty places haven't tingled like this since he tricked a mansion full of gold-digging women into believing that a dimwitted, part-time banana-hammock model was a filthy rich heir looking for a soulmate to help him enjoy his family fortune:

It's been a long while since the name Brandon Routh—the dashing young man plucked from obscurity to fill Superman's tights in the all-Kryptonian hero's long-awaited and quickly forgotten return to the big screen—has come up. So it was with a measure of genuine delight that we received an e-mail blast entitled, "ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT IS EXCLUSIVELY INSIDE THE SECRET WEDDING OF 'SUPERMAN' BRANDON ROUTH," a subject line that effectively teased the many details of the one-movie-long resuméd actor's mystery-enshrouded nuptials therein:

· A rebounding Universal tries to shake off its recent jilting by Brad Pitt by climbing into bed with Russell Crowe, inviting the actor to partake of Pitt's State of Play sloppy seconds. [Variety]
· Even though it feels like there's been nothing good to watch on HBO since the end of The Sopranos (Flight of the Conchords notwithstanding), the network's subscriber numbers have actually risen slightly since the Best TV Show in The History Of The World went off the air. We suppose we have no chose but to credit (at least in part) all the fucking on Tell Me You Love Me for retaining viewer interest. [THR]

In the grand Disney movie "subliminally embedded filth or regrettable accident?" tradition of The Little Mermaid's Aroused Minister (in which a bony knee looks a lot like an erection) and Aladdin's "Good teenagers, take off your clothes," slashfilm.com investigates rumors of an F-bomb being dropped in their latest PG-rated insta-classic, Enchanted:

Hoping to nip in the bud any potential controversy raised by the recent public refusals of Democratic presidential nominee hopeful (and WGA rally superstar!) John Edwards and Barack Obama's wife to take their campaigns to The View's kingmaking couch as a show of solidarity with striking scribes, Whoopi Goldberg today explained the show's Official Position on Writers:

Sad news: a beloved piece of our head-banging, devil-horns-throwing, hair-metal-consuming youth is gone, as Quiet Riot singer Kevin DuBrow was found dead of unknown causes at his Las Vegas home yesterday. Join us in memorializing his life by putting "Cum On Feel the Noize" on repeat in your iTunes for the rest of the day, taking the occasional break to watch the video for "Mama We're All Crazee Now" on YouTube. [MTV.com]

To fully hammer home just what it was that The Bachelor's Brad Womack was forfeiting by dangling his unfathomable hunkiness before 25 single women only to cruelly snap it away at the last moment, the show's producers trotted out the sole two successful romantic pairings from the series and its spinoffs: The Bachelorette's Trista and Ryan, holding the Baby That Reality TV Made, and Season 6 Lesser Hunk Byron Velvick and chosen contestant Mary Delgado, who sported a sparkling engagement ring and gushed lovingly that she "[loves] this man so much that I have fallen in love with the sport that he loves." Later that night, Delgado would find herself behind bars for assaulting the professional bass fisherman of her dreams:

· With talks between the WGA and AMPTP resuming this morning, a Variety strike poll reveals that respondents believe that the Writers Guild is doing a much better job of "representing its side of the battle more forcefully and more clearly" than the studios. Indeed, the Companies might have to resort to having lead negotiator Nicholas "J. Nicky 3" Counter star in his own "Studio Boi" video if they hope to keep pace with their adversaries' latest, cutting-edge attempt at virally spreading their message. [Variety]