Pervert Christmas has come early for lucky Transformers fans, as a series of photos of star Megan Fox signing autographs reveals either the faintest hint of poorly concealed areola or some nipple-adjacent shadows. Have at it, sickies! We won't judge. [Egotastic]

Mimicking the kind of risky, career-stalling move usually only attempted by more established movie stars like Julia Roberts, Jessica Alba has allowed herself to become impregnated by boyfriend Cash Warren. Following the announcement of the happy news, her agents at Endeavor are scrambling to see if they can get her into some kind of knocked-up-single-mom romantic comedy project Reese Witherspoon rejected during the middle stages of her last pregnancy, hoping to keep Alba working even when she can no longer hide her baby bump. [People]

Having survived a public buggering following the announcement that he'd be the first late-night talkshow host to cross the WGA picket line and the subsequent publication of his hilariously misguided e-mail plea for gag-writing help from non-union friends and family, an embattled™ Carson Daly had to know that more sanity-fraying good times were in store for him once he returned to produce new episodes of Last Call without his writing staff. On Tuesday night, a team of striking writers infiltrated Daly's studio audience (an action not sanctioned by the Guild, we're told), briefly ruining his penetrating interrogation of Dancing with Stars also-ran Jerry Rice before security restored order to the Last Call world. A tipster forwarded this firsthand account of last night's shenanigans (there's also an amusing, if headache-inducing, cell-phone recording of the disruption, which we hope to share shortly):

· Actually, we don't really care about Johnny Fairplay's teeth. We just wanted to watch the part where Danny Bonaduce chucks him over his shoulder one more time. Or however many times TMZ managed to work that clip into their update story on the state of Fairplay's mouth.
· There are five easy steps to getting a ride on The Butterscotch Stallion.
· Viacom permalancers have caught walkout fever.
· The Dude abides.

Because we're all desperately in need of some stories of spiritual uplift this dismal holiday season, we offer you an eyewitness account from a highly placed Defamer operative of box office titan and "Hanukkah Song" troubadour Adam Sandler coming to the rescue of an injured woman in the parking lot of local skating rink:

Obviously affected by yesterday's launch of AMPTP.com, some striking writers' hurtful commentary on the 1994-era design of the studio coalition's web presence, the organization today unveiled the kind of "widget" that the kids demand from their favorite blogotubes: a Doomsday Ticker™ relentlessly tabulating the amount of money their calculations say the WGA is futilely burning upon the pyre of protest.

Of the many surprises in Sweeney Todd, Tim Burton's musical ode to early-Victorian cannibalism, the appearance of Sacha Baron Cohen as barber rival Adolfo Pirelli is one of the most pleasant: The British comedian ably tackles the part's considerable vocal challenges, and cuts a fine figure in a form-fitting, periwinkle dandy suit, beneath which protrudes a bulge even more distractingly prominent than the one poking out of Borat's signature neon nutthong swimwear. E Online's Planet Gossip caught up with the movie's costume designer to find out where nature ended and package-enhancing magic began:

· Music round-up: Squirrel Nut Zippers at the El Rey; The Shys at the Troubadour; David Bazan at Spaceland; KCRW's Gimme Shelter benefit show (with Mandy Moore, Phantom Planet, Matthew Sweet and others) at the Roxy.
· Top Chef judge Padma Lakshmi treks to the Torrance Borders (come on, it's Padma! You'd drive to San Diego if it were Tom Colicchio) to share "the origins of her latest exotic recipes."
· Revver .com puts on a special, holiday-themed edition of its ongoing screening series of shorts at the Goethe-Institut. (There will be food and booze. And the voiceover work of Jim Belushi.)

While most industry executives are content to let their assistants carry out their primary functions—lying to unwanted callers about their current whereabouts, caffeinated-beverage procurement, Blackberry target practice—without a second thought as to how they might be utilized in less brain-numbing tasks, progressive Fox scheduling guru Preston Beckman recently offered his underlings a chance to partake in the TV-magic-making process in a meaningful way. Briefly freeing the assistants from their chains, he invited his young staffers, who conveniently fell within the demographic sweet spot midseason sitcom Unhitched is targeting and wouldn't require the $50 stipend he'd otherwise have to waste on focus group cattle, to help him solve a problem.

"He lived. He lived well, he lived hard. He lived strong, he lived full-throttle. He's forever in flight now. And you know what? He doesn't have to come back down! He doesn't have to land." With those moving words, a surprisingly eloquent Matthew McConaughey sent Evel Knievel, the greatest daredevil of them all, off to jump the biggest motorcycle ramp in Heaven. [LiveVideo.com]

Usually, when PETA is determined to make a dramatic statement about animal abuse, it dispatches Pamela Anderson to march in front of a food-court KFC stall, naked but for the blood-soaked feathers of brutally massacred chickens clinging to her iconic, surgically enhanced curves, a protest that lasts until every potential patron is finally forced to take their business to a nearby Tofu Hut. Today, however, the organization has undertaken a decidedly more ambitious campaign, unloading both outraged barrels on the Olsen Twins, who've made the unfortunate choice to include items containing animal fur in their signature homeless-chic fashion line.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you spotted Alice Cooper buying a box of vitamin-fortified Hitler-O's at the Rose Bowl Flea Market.

As Back to the Future fans probably already know, Eric Stoltz completed weeks of filming as Marty McFly due to a scheduling conflict with first choice Michael J. Fox, but was eventually replaced by Fox when Stoltz proved a little intense for a light-hearted comedy. To celebrate Stoltz's unseen contribution to cinematic history, Hurty Elbow has constructed a mini-shrine to the original McFly's lost scenes. Don't miss the cameo by a young Billy Zane! [Hurty Elbow]

As if having to deal with the exploits of Lost's ne'er-do-well cast wasn't enough, forever getting wasted on DHARMA-brand wine coolers and picked up winding across Honolulu highways searching in vain for a mid-season wrap party, Hawaiian officials now have to put up with a DVD release of Superbad that includes, among its many goodies, a replica of McLovin's iconic fake Hawaiian drivers license. Accused of being nothing more than an underage-drinking-facilitating prize in a Cracker Jack box, Wal-Mart has since complied with the mayor's request to pull the DVDs from local store shelves—a recall that could extend to all of its outlets:

· Sean Penn's Into the Wild leads the Broadcast Critics Association awards nominations with seven nods, including best picture, director, actor, and writer. Meanwhile, the contrarian critics of San Francisco name Brad Pitt's little-seen outlaw-tone-poem The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford their best of the year. [Variety, Variety · ABC pulls last three episodes of Big Shots from the air despite its rapidly expiring supply of fresh scripted programming, handing its cushy, post-Grey's Anatomy timeslot to repeats of Private Practice. [THR]

ABC News.com has reviewed the toxicology report from Quiet Riot vocalist Kevin DuBrow's mysterious death in Las Vegas in late November, passing along their expert analysis of the Clark County coroner's verdict: TOO MUCH BLOW. This result updates the news site's earlier, speculative story about suspicions that drug-induced asphyxiation was responsible for the singer's demise: DUBROW: CHOKED ON OWN PUKE? [ABCNews.com]

The Sopranos creator David Chase, who once dismissed the series's fans as an unruly mob of closure-obsessed Tony-turncoats, has made the pilgrimage back to his old stomping grounds to testify in a federal lawsuit brought against him from a former judge who claims he was never fairly compensated for helping to create the now-legendary series:

Breaking! Lovably smug Jeopardy quizmaster Alex Trebek suffers heart attack! But please, don't begin the search for a new host just yet (note to Ryan Seacrest: it would be in poor taste to offer your services "just in case he takes a turn for the worse") , as Trebek merely suffered a "minor" infarction and is "resting comfortably." Check back with ET for further developments on how the temporarily felled gameshow legend is enjoying Cedar-Sinai's legendary tapioca pudding. [ET Online]

The teaser trailer the Society posted to its blog is chillingly effective: not only do we expect to be appalled by their trip to one of L.A.'s most popular pet-pushing emporiums, but we're hoping their i-team, disguised as Les Deux patrons in search of a hot after-party, somehow managed to infiltrate Hilton's compound and obtain footage of the walk-in closet where a colony of neglected pups survives on a diet of high-end shoe leather and the contents of discarded water bottles. Stay tuned!

Having, like the rest of us, caught wind of a story circulating that Queen Latifah was finally going to make an honest woman out of her longtime personal-training companion, a Sun Times reporter at a junket for The Perfect Holiday gathered the nerve to ask the actress/torch singer/hip-hop architect whether the rumors were true: