· The Return of Late Night (*Doc Severinson trumpet flourish*) brings a veritable who-cares of stars to their chilled couches. Leno has Jamie Lynn Spears'-pregnancy-endorsing candidate Mike Huckabee, and Letterman has Donald Trump, on hand to find out which of his Celebrity Apprentice candidates float. [THR]
· More on the Worldwide Pants/WGA deal: Writers got what the Guild is demanding for internet across the board: "3% based on the applicable minimum payment per 100,000 hits." [THR]
· Netscape Navigator, who for some of us was our first portal into the many splendors of the bold new fetish-catering technology of the World Wide Web, is to be buried beneath a heavy pillow in its sleep by corporate parent AOL. [THR]
· Chinese actor and director Sun Daolin died at age 86, his illustrious cinematic legacy in many ways paving the way for Chris Tucker shouting about the words coming out of his mouth at a nonplussed Jackie Chan. [Variety]
· Overseas audiences still can't get enough of I Am Legend, which foreign film snoots are calling the greatest exploration of the existentialist dilemma since 1948's La Terra trema. [Variety]

In a story that tidily summed up the Spirit of the Holidays™, a Texas girls' clothing chain offering four seats and a flight to see Miley Cyrus's solidly sold-out concert tour chose as the winner of its essay contest the six-year-old who began her entry, "My daddy died this year in Iraq." Trouble was, her daddy had never been to Iraq, and was alive and well living in the next town over. To listen to her mother, who orchestrated the entire thing, go on at length with a TV reporter about how she was never once told the "essay had to be true" and thus took offense at being labeled a liar, is to truly catch a chilling glimpse into the dark heart of a Hannah Montana concert-ticket-seeking parent's soul. But that would prove to be the lesser of two weekend controversies for the Disney Channel star:

The Week in Shrimping: A disquieting toe-sucking fad has apparently overtaken the celebrity sphere, with British tabloids running photos of Sting feasting on the phalanges of wife Trudie Styler (don't they realize the gateway to the 11th chakra starts with one's foot-webbing?), and Nicollette Sheridan chowing down on Michael Bolton's hairless little piggies. Mmmm....Boltoes. [Daily Mail, Daily Mail]

A long-lost memo from Robert "Mike Brady" Reed to Sherwood Schwartz upon receiving the script for Episode 116 of The Brady Bunch has reemerged. (Reed was a classically trained Shakespearean actor who regularly penned memos complaining about the show's ridiculous plots and questionable character motivations.) It's pretty classic: "Once again, we are infused with the slapstick. The oldest boy's hair turns bright orange in a twinkling of the writer's eye, having been doused with a non-FDA-approved hair tonic. [...] When the kid's hair turns red, it is Batman in the operating room. I can't play it." [BoingBoing]

Pity John Cusack, who in the span of one junket for an earnest and well-meaning film has now been subjected to the advances of single-n'-ready-to-mingle The View guest hosts, The Chris Farley Show-caliber interviews with overzealous TV cooks, and now, this:

With Father Time currently in lockdown after being picked up over the weekend for a parole-violating DUI, and the tragic discovery of the New Year's baby in a dumpster behind Bar Lubitsch (besides a crushed top hat and filthy sash, doing just fine), it seems as if the countdown to 2008 comes under less than ideal circumstances. Still, you can't stop the march of progress, and nowhere is that more apparent than in the weekend box office numbers:

· Michelle Rodriguez begins her 180-day jail odyssey, Topanga meets breathalyzer, De Mornay pays the piper, and Mischa Barton spends a night in jail.
· Sean and Robin's divorce: Could it have been Penn's stubborn opinions about The Beatles?
· The Defamer 2007 Year in Review: Parts I, II, and III. And our best videos of the year.
· Britney Spears spills her guts to Adnan the Paparazzo.
· Will Smith-Loves-HitlerGate: Could you clarify what you meant by "reprogramming?"
· Brandy walks.
· Casting the CBS MOW of the Benazir Bhutto tragedy.
· Carson Daly electrifying late night.
· Angelina Jolie and Rosie O'Donnell top annoying celebrity and do-gooder polls. We forget which won which.
· "He said something about, 'Taking my homies weed...'"
· Worldwide Pants and the WGA make beautiful, side-deal love.

· We realize this makeover isn't that new, but did the Sun-Maid girl fix a deviated septum? And get Botox? And a chemical peel? And a brow lift? And go tanning? She's still being styled by Rachel Zoe, though. Zing!
· The AMPTP clock has hit $151,000,000. Why is that figure significant? Well, says their website, it's the moment the strike has crossed over into the red abyss, costing the writers more than they were negotiating for in the first place. Do you taste the bitter irony here? It's so unpleasant on the tongue!
· The visor supposedly worn by Data on Star Trek: The Next Generation and sold by Christie's to a Trekkie for $6000 is now suspected of being a fake.
· It's official: Rocky's son and the indestructible cheerleader are doing it!
· Did somebody say...list? Reality Blurred reminds us of all the reality stars who died this year—a surprisingly hefty lot—as well as a bunch of other reality TV stuff from a year where the format reigned supreme.

Friday
· Friday Night Music: Social Distortion at the House of Blues, The Germs at the Key Club, Digital Underground at the Viper Room.
· Aliens From Spaceship Earth screens at the Silent Movie Theatre: "A ticket to heaven with folk-schlocker Donovan as your guide through the cosmic universe of hippie idols."
Saturday
· Music round-up: The Mars Volta at the Echoplex, the Supersuckers at the Viper Room, The Crystal Method at the Vanguard, The Mother Hips at the Mint.
· The 2007 IT SUCKED! Awards are at the UCB Theatre, hosted by Danielle Schneider and Dannah Feinglass, and featuring Rob Corddry, Matt Besser, Matt Walsh, Jen Kirkman, Seth Morris, and James Adomian appearing as Javier Bardem.
· It's the very last Hot Dog of all time, featuring a slew of L.A. clubland characters, gogo boys and girls, and of course your host, Mario "King of Sleaze" Diaz. At Club Dragonfly.

We don't think this one needs too much dressing up: A report about former Playboy magazine model Rebecca Reyes, who claims she was manhandled by Texas cops, replete with tearful, first person recollection of the events. Observations? Um, former Playboy models crying makes us sad. Also, brown is an underrated tanktop color. Happy New Year, everyone!

A press release brings at least a glimmer of end-of-year good news to the otherwise moribund state of writers strike affairs: Worldwide Pants, which sought to reach an independent deal with the WGA that would allow both their late night talk shows to return to the airwaves with a full roster of Guild-approved Top Ten lists, Know Your Current Events questions, and whatever it is they do on The Late Late Show, has successfully negotiated an agreement with their writers' union:

That's a relief! Brandy won't face charges for involuntary vehicular manslaughter, so says the Los Angeles City Attorney's office. Brandy is no doubt relieved that she won't have to hire an army of lawyers to defend her in court against criminal charges, and can instead put it all towards the civil suit, a possible settlement, and a medium Pinkberry with no toppings purchased with what's left.[MSNBC]

Wow—is it July already? Someone turn off this space heater and get us some sangria! It must be time for more Defamer 2007 Year in Review:

In a surprise Defamer World Exclusive! (must credit Defamer's World's First Surprise Super Exclusive!) videographer Molly McAleer, who spent last evening in the Hollywood Hills working on choreography with her Satanist friends as she always does, captured this altercation between Sean and Robin Wright Penn—possibly the final blow-up that led to today's divorce announcement. Sean clearly seems to be the more conciliatory of the two, sweetly offering up small fondnesses, such as the way Robin reads her script dialogue out loud before bed every night—but we'll leave it to you to decide where, if anywhere at all, the fault lies.

Penelope Cruz is upping the ante on t.A.T.u.'s successful fame-grab by taking the whole fake lesbian thing and adding fake incest. The Spanish actress's brother, a rockstar aspirant, is attempting to launch himself onto the world stage with a controversy-courting video starring his two siblings, Penelope y Monica.

· Annoyed that no progress has been made in the strike, the DGA has offered January 7 as the start date for their own AMPTP negotiations. Obviously, we hope everything goes smoothly, and yet a tiny part of us would love to lay our eyes on an Incredible Picketing Director Baby, wearing a beret and holding a tiny, old-fashioned megaphone. [Variety]
· Lists! Lists! We love lists! Here's one of 10 things that didn't happen in Hollywood this year. [Variety]
· The music industry renames itself Josh Groban's Noel LLC, fires any artist, manager, or A&R person not by that name. [Variety]
· It's producer vs. agent over who came up with the idea of a reality show set in a gym first. [THR]
· Hollywood breaks record overseas, pulling in $10 billion in box office receipts, up 15% from last year. We know this is supposed to be good news, so why does it fill us with a vague sense of dread? [THR]

Hey, Neil Patrick Harris on unicorns! Talking to us! [haroldandkumar]

Yesterday, Defamer videographer Molly McAleer compiled for us the Top 10 Videos of 2007, a pastiche of sobbing talk show hosts, cold-hearted hunks, sassy Galileo revisionists, and delicious floorburgers. Today, she brings things a little bit closer to home—could we dim the lights please?—lovingly scrapbooking Defamer's Top 10 Man-On-the-Street Videos of 2007. We begin with the streetweary insights of Chinese Theater Spider-Man, schooled by Chewbacca in a little-known martial art called Qui-Gon Jinn, that he might more efficiently fend off countless molesty tourists hoping for a cheap grab at his webslingers. Enjoy.

Comic Ant, best known from his failed grab at the Last Comic Standing crown and hosting that show where porked-out C-listers stand on a giant scale in an effort to shed their poundage while retaining their dignity, is the victim of check fraud: An identity thief, likely affecting a piercing voice, has nicked ninety Gs from the jester's coffers:

Former Barbra Streisand lover/Perm-Tensility Quality Control Technician Jon Peters, who only recently spent millions to give his adoptive godson Kal-El Brandon Routh the most dancing-waterest wedding in Kryptonian history, is on the receiving end of yet two more sexual harassment lawsuits filed by exasperated staff members claiming to have been faded-superproducer-handled during their tenures at the Peters estate. From Page Six: