Still going through their Road to the Oscars motions even though they certainly suspect the gilded path will terminate in a wall of red-tuxedoed WGA picketers, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has released the official poster for its 80th annual awards ceremony—one which, we suspect, might provide a clue as to producer Gil Cates' plans for an emergency "alternative" telecast.

Blogger Harlem 26.2 (whose description, "The chronicles of a Black man running through Harlem in pursuit of rebuilding his business, a sub 3:00 marathon, and a wife - all through the lens of running," is our current favorite) has been following all the Katie Holmes marathon conspiracy theorizing closely, and adds a fascinating insight to the mix that discounts the official "lone runman" theory:

Well, in case you hadn't heard the news, we got hit with a copyright infringement notice from the Church Of Scientology earlier today. Frankly, we've been too busy watching repeat after repeat of Defamer's appearance on The Today Show this morning to pay it much mind. After all, that's what they pay lawyers for, right? Anyhoo, we managed to get our paws on another outtake from the DVD from whence the "Freedom Medal Of Valor" speech came*. In it, Tom Cruise helps explain how he saved America after 9/11 ... without even asking for permission!

· Like Mr. Tumnus having his way with Keira Knightly in a darkened family library, the BAFTAs make sweet, desperate love to Atonement, lavishing 14 nominations on the film; runners-up No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood (nine nods each), like adolescents wandering in on the lovers in mid-thrust, stare with a mix of jealousy and immature incomprehension at the act of carnality unfolding in front of them. (We now end this incredibly labored run of Atonement analogies.) [Variety]
· Breakout Juno star Ellen Page entrusts her red-hot career to first-time director Drew Barrymore, with Page taking a role as a roller-derby-playing "alterna-teen" (no need to stretch too far coming off a hit) in Whip It!
[Variety]

When it comes to the Juno debate—poignantly picaresque comedy from the former-stripper Voice of our Generation vs. wildly overrated entertainment calculated to pull the heartstrings of its This American Life-listening target audience—we're afraid to admit we bend towards the latter. We appear to be outnumbered, however, as despite its Golden Globes shut-out, Juno continues to enjoy its surprise hit™ status, and is on track towards netting its scalding-hot screenwriter Diablo "Not Her Real Name" Cody a Best Original Screenplay trophy at this year's Academy Awards.

It was just a little over a year ago when then-NBC president Kevin Reilly, obviously depressed by the prospect of helplessly enduring another winter TV season in which all of his network's midweek offerings would be vaporized by Fox's Nielsen Death Star (obviously not to be confused with Hollywood's other destruction-dealing edifice), when he allowed himself this once delusional-seeming ray of hope at the TCAs: "Not to be shitty about it, but maybe they'll have a bad run. Nothing burns that bright forever. Some day it will be uncool to watch American Idol."

The bombshell allegations against the partners of Axium, the Hollywood payroll company that recently declared emergency Chapter 7 bankruptcy, keep coming. According to court documents filed in the United States District Court (Central District of CA division), Goldentree Asset Management is taking partners John Visconti and Ron Garber to court for "diverting untold millions of dollars in cash and other assets to secret bank accounts" and "using Axium as their own personal piggy bank to finance their extravagant lifestyles." Zing! Thanks to our base of well-connected tipsters, we got our hands on PDFs of the court filings. We read through the 35-page document and picked out the juiciest moments for your enjoyment. We're talking multiple identities, cash payments to former supermodels for "consulting" and all sorts of other general shadiness not seen since the halcyon days of Enron. Trust us, it's GOLD.

Anyone who endured as much as two minutes of NBC's Access Hollywood-branded Repetition Of The Winners' Names Recited Moments Ago At The First Annual Crippled Golden Globes Press Conference Spectacular probably didn't find it hard to envision a similar nightmare scenario unfolding at a strike-hampered Academy Awards, wherein planned host Jon Stewart is replaced by a dream celebrity-newsmagazine-mannequin team of Mark McGrath and Maria Menounos, whose only function will be to smile and point to headshots of Oscar victors projected onto the 100-foot screen looming behind them on the Kodak Theatre stage. (And to respond with glee to reaction shots of a cardboard cut-out of Jack Nicholson, complete with omnipresent sunglasses and shit-eating grin, propped up in the actor's customary front-row seat.)

Brad Renfro, a child and then young-adult actor with a deceptively huge talent, died yesterday from as-yet-undetermined causes. Renfro's last big public splash came under perhaps the worst circumstances imaginable: Two days before Christmas 2005, the LAT ran a full-color photo of the unrecognizable former heartthrob in handcuffs, balding, chubby, and clearly in distress after being picked up downtown in an undercover drug sting meanspiritedly dubbed "Cancel Christmas." Renfro's drug use and run-ins with the law were no secret until that point—he was famously charged with Grand Theft 45-Foot Yacht in 2000—but the Skid Row arrest was definitely a turning point, the heartbreaking image inextricably linked with the actor from there on. Determined to turn himself around, he entered a live-in rehab facility in April of 2006, saying at the time that he was "tired of paying the consequences," and that he felt "blessed that I'm going through this now, rather than later. I'm still a kid. I'm 23."

With Andrew Morton's book on one of Hollywood's most controversial and misunderstood leading men, Tom Cruise: An Unauthorised Biography (the U.S. version, with all appopriate Ss replaced by Zs, releases simultaneously), now on store shelves, the heir to Kitty Kelley's loosely sourced, utterly shocking biographical exposé legacy has taken to the interview circuit to promote his work.

Looking for that Tom Cruise Scientology video that everyone's talking about? We've got both the nine-minute original clip and, for those of you with short attention spans, the two-minute highlight reel. REEE-MIX!

· Was anyone else watching Vh1 last night from, say, 11pm to 11:06pm? They debuted a bite-sized pop culture rundown ("Best Night Ever") starring the lovely, talented and wholly underrated Jessica St. Clair. We've been repeating her hilariously awkward outgoing sign-off all day. Edward R. Murrow, eat your heart out.
· Speaking of Best Week Ever, their listmaster supreme (aka Dan Hopper) ran down the Ten Least Sexy Nude Scenes in Movie History. Yes, chubby chasers, Kathy Bates made the list.
· Rachel Bilson wearing a star-spangled bikini = newsstand gold. Mark your calendars, this will be the first time we've bought GQ this millenium.
· The Soup has a rare, behind-the-scenes look of how Harvey Levin's pitch meetings at TMZ really go down.
· Garfield sure had a bad day back on January 26, 1995.
· Our favorite line in the HD-DVD viral vid that made the rounds today was "BLADES OF GLORY? Are you FUCKING kidding me?" Also, in the context of this video, is Hitler supposed to be Bill Gates?

Wesley Snipes, the world's surliest vampire hunter, is about to go to trial on some SERIOUS tax evasion charges. Whoopsy daisy, seems that Blade forgot to declare and pay taxes on the $38 million that he made between 1999 and 2004 (we're thinking he made about $38 from 2005 until the present). But The Smoking Gun, being the document sleuths that they are, got their rubber-gloved hands on a document that Wesley filed with an Orange County (FLA, not CA) comptroller back in 2005. We used our computer's highly advanced Ctrl+Alt+Print Screen functionality to grab the image you see above, an image so confusing that it provokes more questions than it could ever possibly answer. First off, is that a hand-drawn self-portrait? It's like Van Gogh meets Rothko meets Rorshach! And second of all, that blood type! Does that mix with AB Negative? We must know. Lastly, that penmanship! We haven't seen so many swirls in a signature since Peggy Sue got married. But wait, there's more!

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you spotted the possible next First Daughter (for her second time—how weird will that be?) at a gay bar.

· David Sedaris begins a six-night stand at UCLA's Macgowan Hall Little Theater. No word on whether or not The Rooster will be in attendance.
· If you're looking to get sweaty and hang around a folding table while a maniacal, headband wearing hipster spins Woody Woodpecker birdcalls, Dan Deacon will be at the El Rey. Other music fans can take refuge in Mighty Six Ninety at the Key Club or Eddie Spaghetti at Safari Sams.
· And because we haven't talked enough about Scientology today, head over to the Celebrity Centre tonight for their "Success In The Music Industry" workshop. Hey, it worked for Beck...

Sad news to pass along. TMZ is reporting that Brad Renfro, star of Apt Pupil and The Client, passed away earlier today at his Los Angeles home at the age of 25. The cause of death is still unknown. More info to follow as it happens.

A press release from the WGA today demonstrated how the Guild has the potential to be a merciful awards-show-waiver-granting Hollywood entity, announcing that they have reached a pact with the NAACP allowing the Image Awards to proceed as planned:

Zac Efron down! We repeat, teenybopper heartthrob Zac Efron is down! The High School Musical star was rushed to hospital today to have his appendix removed. Efron is recovering nicely, and has agreed to sign the mostly useless, prone-to-rupturing tissue for an eBay celebrity-organ auction, where it's expected to fetch a large sum earmarked for The Children's Appendicitis Fund. [TMZ]

Long suffering feminist crusader and smokey treat enthusiast Katherine Heigl wants you to know that she can quit smoking any time she god damn well pleases. "I can have just one (cigarette). I am not gonna get addicted. Then you start bumming. I'm bumming. I don't buy my own packs. I'm not addicted." It's important to note, she gave this answer while smoking a cigarette.

Noting that Disney head Bob Iger's salary rose 7% this year to $27.7 million dollars, Reuters then runs through the point-by-point breakdown: "Disney paid Iger a $2 million base salary, plus a $13.7 million bonus. The company expensed $7.9 million in stock awards and $2.2 million in option awards for Iger during the fiscal year ended September 30." According to our calculations, that adds up to $25.8 million. So where's the missing $1.9 million coming from? Hannah Montana black-market-ticket brokerage fees? We open the commenting floor to your own suggestions. [Reuters]