All you needed to do was take one look at Angelina Jolie's SAG Awards gown, a billowy sail of silk charmeuse that could have easily smuggled a schoolhouseful of multicultural toddlers, to wonder if the actress wasn't perhaps camouflaging something beneath all of that fabric. The world, of course, was not caught entirely off guard: News of a possibly Jolie-Pitt twins pregnancy inched its way up the tabloid totem last week, up from the paparazzi blogosphere, into the pages of supermarket literature, and now arriving in the semi-legitimate pages of Us Weekly:

At last night's sold-out, tranny-filled Kathy Griffin stand-up show at Madison Square Garden, Kath slayed the audience with a brand-new act that leaned heavily on Scientology skewering material. You see, one of Kathy's best friends was a Sex and the City writer/producer named Judy Toll, who died in 2002 from complications of melanoma. Toll joined Scientology in an attempt to network with bigwigs in the entertainment industry, but then swiftly realized that she needed to get out as fast as she could. Only prob? Anyone seeking an exit sign from Tom Cruise's House of Horrors needs, according to Griffin, "a lawyer who specializes in getting people out of cults."

THR's Gold Rush blog finally delivers video of the incident, though from the director's perspective; you'll probably have to turn up your speakers to make out Young's now-infamous "Get on with it!" exhortation, but the perturbed honoree's now-poignant "Have another cocktail" retort is clearly documented by the Reporter's camera. Presumably, the clip brings this turbulent chapter in awards show history to an anticlimactic close, at least until some blurry cameraphone footage of Young's subsequent ejection from the event makes its way to YouTube.

· Don't look so put out by that dude who's not cool with your knocking-up, Jessica Alba. He's the one who's helping to pay for little Cash, Jrs. baby clothes.
· As long as she's got a bottle of wine and two other jilted lovers, Maggie Gyllenhaal doesn't need AMPTP and his lies.
· Christian Brando, Christopher Coppola, whatever. Close enough.
· You know times are tough when the CAA Death Star bothers to lean over to devour the stringy, unsatisfying flesh of the fully grown in a desperate attempt to sustain itself.
· Well, sure. If no one tells the Japanese tourists that the little person the guy from Herman's Head has just reduced to tears is supposed to be standing in for a child, of course they're going to be a little disturbed by such an upsetting tableau.
· Seriously, though: if you watch only one video of a muscle-suited, 1994-era Ryan Seacrest having tennis balls fired at him by 12-year-olds, make it the one we posted this morning. Continue to ignore it at your own peril.

G4TV's impossibly shiny haired co-host of Attack Of The Show, Olivia Munn, sure is a trouper. During a bit that aired near the end of Friday's episode, Munn took a nasty spill while writhing about in a shallow pool of baby oil (and you wonder why we DVR the show every night?). Turns out that her slip-n-fall bruised more than just her ego; after the show was completed, paramedics were called to the scene and she was "whisked" away to a local hospital.

Spare us the LaBeouf jokes for a moment, if you please, and feast your eyes on this beefcake centerfold spread of Shia LaBeouf, apparently one of the photo interstitials not used for his SNL hosting stint. If the udder delights on display aren't to your liking, we encourage you to at least forward the link onto any plushy enthusiasts and/or Shia admirers in your life, who can use the materials to inspire all new LaBeoufian dress-up fantasies without having to revisit the familiar Transformers and Holes themes. [Towleroad]

Having perhaps developed a new sense of perspective on What Really Matters since surviving a kale-induced gastrointestinal attack, Gwyneth Paltrow has again emerged from self-imposed career hiatus to deliver an important announcement on the current state of her always-tentative relationship to stardom. Sadly, however, the words "red-carpeted hole in my soul that no amount of baby-burping can fill" appear nowhere in the declaration, as the actress tells U.K. magazine Now that she currently has no immediate plans to return to Hollywood's ass-kissy embrace:

Britney Spears, her no longer estranged mom Lynne and sketchball manager Sam Lufti hit a Beverly Hills Mercedes-Benz dealership earlier this afternoon in search of some good old-fashioned retail therapy. Brit Brit arrived on the scene dressed in typical scattershot fashion: faux intellectual glasses, the dirtiest pair of cowboy boots west of El Paso and some sort of belly-baring lace-accented sweater thingie. And in case you're wondering, no, she didn't buy anything. Good thing, considering she still doesn't have a valid driver's license. [TMZ]

· Music round-up: Jill Sobule at Largo; Shelby Lynne at Amoeba; Drug Rug at Spaceland.
· The Silent Movie Theatre hosts Stuntman Appreciation Night with a screening of 1980's The Stunt Man. The celebration will also include a post-show discussion with director Richard Rush and numerous practitioners of the fall-guy craft.
· Former Daily Show correspondent Lauren Weedman presents Bust at the Bootleg Theater, her work about her life in Hollywood and volunteer work at the L.A. County Jail. [via LA Weekly]

The Advocate cornered Seth MacFarlane, the multi-talented creator of venerable envelope-nudging Fox animated hit The Family Guy, for an off-the-velvet-cuff conversation about how homosexuality figures into his own brand of flashback-reliant comedy. Despite an affection for musical numbers that would suggest otherwise, MacFarlane is straight. Still, he's had the opportunity to explore his same-sex-loving side through his voicing of Family favorite Stewie, who's evolved in recent seasons from a nefarious infant hellbent on world domination, into perhaps the only TV diaper-pooper grappling with his own sexual identity. Some highlights from the highly entertaining exchange follow, including a graphic proposition for frequently outraged Family-monitors, The Parents Television Council:

As this pair of new video samples demonstrates, he's ready to step in at a moment's notice and fill the gaping banter-hole that would certainly develop between presenters like Will Smith and Mark Wahlberg should the WGA and AMPTP not reach a deal before the ceremony, saving everyone involved from another Golden Globes-style debacle.

Apparently not ready to settle for a professional twilight of signing headshots at Batman conventions, 74-year-old Original Catwoman Julie Newmar has taken out the back cover of AdWeek to publicize her availability as an "unretouched & unretired" corporate spokesperson. Her rep's phone number is helpfully included on the pitch, though we imagine that photo will probably have him fielding as many offers to play parts like "supercougar mentor to Kim Catrall" as product-endorsement opportunities. [Copyranter]

Never afraid to be Hollywood-topical when they sense there's a chance to move some chalupas, the always-inventive Taco Bell marketing team has just issued a press release touting their latest promotion, an invitation to striking WGA members to submit the "words of wisdom" that adorn their hot sauce packets, generously offering a much needed outlet for the "untapped creativity" they're might otherwise misdirect towards projects like viral videos and boredom-inspired novels.

When the Detroit Free Press decided to offer their highly-regarded film critic Terry Lawson a voluntary buyout package over the holidays, most everyone following the situation assumed that they would quickly replace him with a younger (and less expensive) critic. However, we have since learned that The Freep, which is owned by Gannett, will NOT be replacing Terry Lawson, making it the most highly circulated newspaper in the country (daily readership = 320K) without a full-time, in-house film critic.

Director Mark Romanek—the MTV Dali who spun twirling pig heads and simian crucifixion imagery into an unlikely Valentine to unhinged monkey sex in the "Closer" video—was long attached to the Universal remake of The Wolf Man, his first feature length film since 2002's glossy-finish stalker movie, One Hour Photo. Variety now reports the Fincherian visual perfectionist has pulled out of the project just weeks before shooting was to begin, crediting the tidy, two-word standby so often invoked following acrimonious partings of the Hollywood ways:

· Looking for inventive ways to develop scripted programming during the writers strike, CBS Paramount TV reaches across our northern border to partner with CTV to produce the police drama Flashpoint. which will be scripted and shot in Canada. "[The production values] will be as good as any American production," somewhat defensively notes a source, trying to alleviate fears that CBS is trying to save money by eventually airing some second-rate Mountie melodrama badly overdubbed to eliminate suspicious Canadian accents. [Variety]
· As expected, the WGA has reached an interim deal with the Grammys, saving the highly expendable awards show from suffering the same undignified fate as the Golden Globes. Reacts Recording Academy president Neil Portnow, revealing that he may never have watched a Grammys telecast: "Having our talented writers on the team further ensures the highest level of creativity and innovation, something our audience has come to expect every year." [THR]

TMZ has some unexpectedly touching footage of a meeting between recent SAGgie recipient James Gandolfini and his "Number One Fan" at NY's JFK airport; though the admirer's fawning, if pesky, overtures to his Sopranos idol might have started out on the wrong foot, with the suddenly angered actor applying a potential-stalker-neutralizing death-grip to his pursuer's face, the two seemed to reach a peaceful resolution outside the terminal without the customary intervention of authorities, an unnecessary stun-gunning, or shouted threats of legal action.

With news spreading of Sean Young's Schnabel-shushing shenanigans at Saturday night's DGA awards—a story you may have first read about here on Sunday, and that has now achieved critical mass thanks to a lively, first-person retelling by Julie Chen on The Late Show—the spent actress has achieved new rock-bottom depths in the annals of awards season gate-crashing. (Lower even than the time the Blade Runner star sent security on a cat-and-mouse chase throughout the topiaries of the 2006 Vanity Fair Oscar party.) Young has now checked herself into rehab, The Insider is reporting:

Sean Young's bravura, Julian Schnabel-taunting performance at Saturday night's tragically untelevised DGA Awards is now officially the stuff of Hollywood legend; not only was the incident immortalized on Variety's party-monitoring V-page today (a "spirited moment" of "tipsy heckling," giggles the trade paper!), but it was openly shared with millions of David Letterman's viewers Monday night by Big Brother host and Les Moonves trophy wife Julie Chen, who didn't require any arm-twisting to cough up the name of "the well-known actress" who caused the now-much-discussed disturbance, or to take a game stab at recreating the slurred outbursts that led to Young's ejection from the event.

An ABC News investigative report suggests the mainstream media has grown completely bored of the "Clay Aiken: Gay?" angle, and is now turning to all-new categorizations ending in the suffix "-sexual" to solve the mystery of the American Idol ejectee's true leanings. In a recent New York interview, Aiken again skirted the personal-life issue by saying, "I have got too much on my plate. I'd father [sic?] focus on one thing and do that when I can devote time to it, and right now, I just don't have any desire."