Okay, everyone needs to chill out and relax already about those nudie pics Lindsay shot for NY Mag. There's nothing wrong with a young girl splashing her freckalicious T&A all over billboards and buses, so zip up your pants and act like an adult. Why? Because Dina Lohan says so! As the momager/pimp tells People, "I looked at it as art...I don't look at them like it's Playboy. Trust me. I wouldn't have sent my 14 year-old to the set. And obviously Lindsay wouldn't do anything with her sister there that was risque." Yes, Dina, obviously. More lessons from the House of Lohan, and Lindsay's pre-shoot workout regime, after the jump.

Pop star-alternative Pink (hey—isn't her hair supposed to be pink? What gives? That was her whole thing!) has left her husband of two years, Xtreme athlete Carey Hart, apparently because he was seen with another woman, color-indeterminate. Our mama always warned us about them MotoX—she said they'd drag our hearts around like a 450cc+ railing a berm like a pro. Keep on keepin' on, Pink. [AP]

Because we here at Defamer are committed to leaving virtually no stone unturned in our efforts to bring you the latest in life-easifying web-based conveniences (so long as that stone is brought to our attention via e-mailed press release), we now pass along two such applications.

While American Idol is still a ratings powerhouse and one of the strongest franchises on television, there is no denying that the brand has taken more than its fair share of lumps since Jordin Sparks was crowned the winner of the show's sixth season. In addition to stillborn debuts from last season's two finalists (Blake Lewis and the aforementioned Miss Sparks), past winners like Taylor Hicks and Ruben Studdard were both recently unceremoniously dropped from their recording deals. So when confronted with waning ratings during this season's tiresome pre-series run of "Hey, Look At That Jackass" moments, it seems that Idol producers turned to a tride and true gimmick in order to get people talking about their show once again. They created a controversy.

Ah, no one says it like Tim Gunn, revered style swami and champion of dandy diplomacy, who can tell you everything you need to know about the dumpy hunchbackwear you've got on with nothing more than a fist pressed to his lips and a deep furrowing of his Sharpei-like brow. If anyone can get away with skewering the sartorial challenges facing our past and present leaders, it is he. Appearing on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Gun was utterly unwowed by what was going on below President Bush's ankles: Taken separately, a pair of black Crocs and Air Force One socks might work, but there was virtually no excuse for wearing the two together (short of perhaps currying favor with the German Chancellor at the next G7 Summit).

Have things really gotten so rough for Jennifer Aniston that she's gone from dating cokehead models to taking movie roles just so she can date the leading man? That's what this article on Jen's new relationship with Traveling co-star Aaron Eckhart seems to be implying. According to the Daily Mail, Eckhart "personally requested Aniston for the part...and Jen's entire reason for doing this movie was Aaron." Before we got carried away imagining the potential for very cute little blonde Ecklets with rhinoplastic trust funds, we tried to figure out if this "rumor" had any substance.

· In an uncomfortable marriage pitting one of the coolest brands on the planet with, um, a lesser-cool brand, Apple has become a signature sponsor of American Idol. What does this mean for you, the Apple/Idol fan? iTunes carries show downloads, the iPod becomes the show's "official digital music player," and the company's next top-secret product launch, the iPaula, will perform all the functions of the iPhone, but with improved wasted and weepy functionality. [Variety]
· Toshiba concedes defeat in the high-def war, giving Blu-ray the official win, and relegating HD-DVD to the obsolete technology junkpile. (Attention unnamed dance-punk bands: Blu-Ray Or HD-DVD is up for grabs!) [Variety]

Less than two weeks ago, the staff of Bestweekever.tv put together a spirited and inventive internet campaign whose mission was to convince NBC not to cancel Friday Night Lights. By all accounts, it seemed to be working well; not only did it receive a healthy amount of press coverage, BWE.tv was able to convince over 10,000 people to sign an online petition to save the show. However, over the weekend, all mention of the campaign mysteriously disappeared from the site's homepage. So we decided to do some digging.

Jeremy Piven was recently captured sunning on a Hawaiian shore by a telephoto lens almost as substantial as Ari Gold's legendary member, and while we can detect ever the slightest hint of burgeoning Piv-handles, the 2008 Golden Globe winner appears to still be in fine form. Clearly, Piven's habit of stepping in at local bar-band gigs to whale on the skins until the very last disappointed patron files out, paired with a vigorous yoga regimen learned in the high peaks of the Himalayas (where the actor achieved levels of spiritual enlightenment heretofore thought unimaginable for someone whose previous notable achievements included among them the coining of the phrase, "Let's hug it out, bitch,"), have contributed to one of the most enviable beach bodies of the entire Entourage cast. Sorry E, Turtle, Drama, Lloyd, and Bob Ryan, but the guy's got hairless pecs for days. Is that something you might be interested in? Click through to get a closer look at a Piv triptych.

The Other Boleyn Girl looks like a lovely little film, just lovely, but OMG DID NATALIE AND SCARLETT JUST MAKE OUT?! It certainly looked like it last week at the Berlin premiere, as photographers got hot and heavy anticipating a moment where it seemed like Natalie was going in for some full tilt boogie with ScarJo. This moment came on the heels of that whole "Scarlett is sexy" comment that Natalie made in their joint W interview. And there was that whole matter of the duo's matching haircuts on The Today Show. So why are Scar and Nat getting so friendly these days? Hint: it has less to do with intimacy and more to do with putting asses in seats.

Reality TV star (and the Maria Callas of her generation) Heidi Montag recently traveled to the exclusive resort town of Atlantic City, NJ where she and boyfriend/aspiring Svengali Spencer Pratt enjoyed the fine dining. Oh, and because they can't go anywhere without some branch of the tabliverse in tow, they happened to find time for an interview with OK! magazine. The interviewer, Alisandra Puliti, compliments Heidi on her appearance in her latest music video, saying "You have the abs that Britney used to!" Creepy! Even creepier is when Pratt describes Montag's good will toward men: "I'll find her on the floor praying and I'll ask, who are you praying for, and she'll say everybody." Aww/Shriek! She's just like Tiny Tim. I guess it's a nice idea, though. When I'm blue or lonely (usually after watching The Hills) I'll just think of Heidi, with her old Britney abs, rolling around on a beach or sprawled out on the floor, praying for me. [OK! via ohnotheydidn't] After the jump, one of the better parodies of Montag's "Higher" video.

As a shepherd of great literary works from page to screen, assistant-gobbling producer/Kraken Scott Rudin is arguably without equal: He produced both of the dark, uncompromising visions currently vying for Oscar greatness, No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood. In an LAT profile, Rudin is credited with scooping up rich source material before it even hits bookstore shelves, pairing it with the right director, making casting suggestion, and even tweaking crucial moments in the script. (Recent legend has it that he quietly pulled P.T. Anderson aside between Blood takes to question if "maybe some other beverage besides Ovaltine might work better in that one line," before staring down at a half-finished Wendy's Frostee for the creative epiphany of a lifetime.) Still, no Rudin profile is complete without the requisite paragraph on his notoriously mercurial temper:

The good news for Beverly Hills residents is that a West Coast outpost of Soho House will not be opening where Morton's on Melrose used to be. The bad news? A restaurant owned by the proprietors of Soho House will be going there instead! After British millionaire Richard Caring bought out minority investors, he announced he would open outlets of the snobby club/hotel everywhere from Chicago to Shanghai, but tough-as-nails neighbors near the landmark restaurant's former site complained about potential noise and parking issues. Caring has since relocated his plans to West Hollywood, but the arrival of Cecconi's may not ease the pain so fast; first up on the restaurant's event schedule is taking over Morton's annual hosting of the Vanity Fair Oscar Party, which we're sure won't attract the least bit of traffic. [Page Six]

Jennifer Lopez has reportedly sold the US rights to exclusive pictures of her twinset to People for a rumored $6 million, beating the record formerly held by Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Plus, Lopez will also receive an undisclosed sum from OK! for international rights. But why so much moolah for J. Lo? How can her spawn possibly be worth more than The Chosen One (whose baby pics were purchased by People for $4.1 million)? As Flavor Flav and those guys from the Coors Light commercials would say: TWINS!

Is there any mid-February tradition more cherished than the announcement of the Dancing with the Stars cast? These dozen brave, ballroom soldiers—of wildly varying Q-ratings and coordination skills—are plucked from every conceivable branch of celebrity, thrown into chest-bearing vests and horrifying baby doll dresses, and shuffled onto a well-greased dance floor. And it's all for America's perverse, compound-fracture-curious pleasures. Revealed last night on Dance War: The Chatterbox Gaytalian Strikes Back, and repeated again this morning on GMA, the sixth season brings Dancing a higher caliber of "star" than ever:

· We're not begrudging Bindi Irwin or her mother Terri the chance to get out on national television to make some moolah, but let's get one thing crystal. This rapping shit has GOT! TO! STOP! That is all. You may now carry on.
· Yep, this is pretty much the same expression we had on our face when watching Jumper this weekend, too. [Skeet On Mischa]
· In their "In Memoriam" styled video, Vanity Fair takes a look back at some of the trends that died on the big screen this past year, such as Leading Men Who Shaved and Moguls With Show Business In Their Veins (Not Formaldehyde). The yuk yuk's never stop over there, folks (and, frankly, they really never started). [Vanity Fair]
· I know we usually don't talk sports on here on Defamer, but this dunk is too sweet to go unrecognized. [YouTube]
· Click here to see a visual definition of the word schadenfreude. Let the good people over at Merriam-Webster take note. [Faded Youth]

Give some credit to Harper's Bazaar photog Jeff Reidel for convincing Frances Bean Cobain to strike an Evita Peron pose in the newest issue of the magazine. While we're pretty sure that the meta-ness of dressing up as a character that one of her mother's biggest rivals once portrayed on the silver screen was lost on the young Miss Cobain, we here at Defamer HQ are eating it up as if it were a late-afternoon sandwich made by none other than Marshall McLuhan himself. Speaking of which, we can't wait for the day when a wildly drunk and bloated Frances Bean crashes a televised interview of Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon. We're sure the look on the animatronic Kurt Loder's face is gonna be priceless. [Harper's Bazaar via Gawker]

Jose Padilha's Tropa de Elite (Elite Squad) took home the Golden Bear prize for Best Film at the 58th Annual Berlin Film Festival this weekend. The film is described by Beyond Hollywood as "a kind of the anti-City of God that follows the Rio de Jainero police rather than the criminals" and is already a huge hit in its native Brazil, where THR reports that it "more than 11.5 million people [have seen] it on pirated DVDs." Pirated DVDs, eh? You can bet that a whole gaggle full of studio execs read that, promptly tossed their cookies and then subsequently thanked their lucky stars that BitTorrent still hasn't broken through into the mainstream here Stateside. [THR, Hollywood Elsewhere]

Because we at Defamer would like nothing more than to place visiting couples fully indoctrinated into The Lifestyle with spouse-sharing-curious members of the showbiz community who also happen to be in possession of a spare pair of tickets to the Academy Awards and Governor's Ball, we now faithfully reproduce for you a Craigslist ad brought to our attention over the weekend. (It's since been removed by conscientious members of the Craigslist community, who strongly feel that whoring out one's wife, however much mutual consent is involved, has no place in the most venerated and dignified awards show of all. Get thee to The Flackies, pervies!) The ad begins like this: