Former Malcolm In The Middle star Frankie Muniz was spotted on the first day of his new job as a Pink Dot delivery guy. Muniz explained that the residual checks for Malcolm are becoming smaller and smaller and the parts aren't as interesting as they used to be, so he picked up a gig as a delivery guy. Muniz went on to explain that in his downtime, he's working on a spec script that was described as No Country For Old Men meets Juno.

It seems that when you're a former heartthrob forced to maintain your celebrity status on the likes of Idol-wannabe reality shows, picking up women isn't as easy as flashing your veneers and saying hello. In the case of hamburger abuser David Hasselhoff, he might have been able to score by simply striding up to a group of giggly women and opening with "Hi, I'm The Hoff." But one pesky home video and one bitter divorce battle later, the NY Daily News reports that David's current moves aren't so slick:

Longtime Disney animator Ollie Johnston, the last surviving member of the "Nine Old Men" cadre responsible for Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Bambi, Sleeping Beauty and more decades' worth of classics, died of natural causes Tuesday in Washington. He was 95. Johnson cut his teeth on Disney short films before moving on to features, earning acclaim with colleagues whom Walt Disney reportedly dubbed the "Nine Old Men" as a play on the FDR-era Supreme Court. He later won the National Medal of Arts for his work, which included everything from Pinocchio's nose growing to the penguins serving Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins. Johnston's influence was powerful among generations who followed, Beauty and the Beast animator Glen Keane told the LA Times. "In Ollie's scenes, all the changes of emotion took place through subtle expressions of the character's eyes and the mouth and hands. ... Ollie's drawings looked as if his pencil had just kissed the paper to coax the characters out. Ollie really felt with his characters: His animation wasn't an intellectual thing, it came from something inside of him." [LAT]

If you're wondering what the Beckhams are doing in Los Angeles, land of Jack Warner and Louis B. Mayer, the corner of Fairfax and Beverly, and Nate'n Als, one need look only as far as David's left forearm, where in Hebraic calligraphy reads a Talmudic proverb that translates roughly to, "He who is tethered to the most majah goat in the village, partakes of the tastiest cream cheese after Shabbat services." As it turns out, the tattoo wasn't just the regrettable result of having imbibed too much Manischewitz after a particularly boisterous Purim party with the Ciccone-Ritchies at the Beverly Hills Kabbalah center; rather, it's a nod to the soccer star's Jewish heritage. Now, reports The Sun, the couple is hoping to get their three-year-old son Cruz into one of our city's finest pre-Yeshivas:

Ex-scientologist Jason Beghe, an actor you probably don't remember from CSI and Numb3rs, posted a somewhat horrifying rant on YouTube yesterday in which he demonstrates just how crazy the religion can make someone, even after they've escaped its clutches. After spouting venom-laced theories involving "theta traps" and "reactive minds," Beghe tells us that Scientologists think they're "fucking doing something to save the planet." And in an interview with the Village Voice last week, he divulges yet more allegations about Tom Cruise's involvement, and has a warning for Will Smith:

As noted here Monday, SAG president and all-around industry red-ass Alan Rosenberg never encountered a paper cut he couldn't pick and peel into a festering scab. A lot of it is the institution's historic dysfunction; less than 90 days from the expiration of its contract with studios, SAG has more factions, infighting and revenue disparities than the Jackson family. Nevertheless, on the second day of negotiations between SAG and producers, Brooks Barnes offers a revealing portrait of the Man Who Would Bring Hollywood to Its Knees If It Will Get Him in the New York Times:

Richie Sambora has long struggled with his addictions—themselves a natural response to the stresses of occupying one point on a messy Hollywood love pentagram whose details we can never quite get straight. (We think he was briefly married to David Spade before a bitter divorce led him directly into the arms of the Just Shoot Me star's former BFF, Heather Locklear.) But now, the Bon Jovi guitarist is facing far more serious matters, as Orange County officials are reportedly looking to slap the recently DUI'd Sambora with child endangerment charges:

Svelte actress Christina Ricci objected to the vegetable tray presented to her while on the set of New York, I Love You. Ricci explained to the craft services caterer that she only eats organic vegetables. The caterer rolled her eyes and quietly said, "I bought this at Whole Foods."

So the first season of Real Housewives of New York City, Bravo's brilliant car wreck of a reality series (that will soon have an across-the-Hudson spin off...), came to an end last night. What a short run we had! But how much we now know about these truly terrible women! In the finale episode, Jill naturally took the opportunity to throw her money around and had a big party for all the ladies and their families. The big question was, of course, whether Ramona should be pardoned for her past offenses at Bethenny's little dinner party. In the end, the crazy blond dynamo (who also spent the episode shooting botulism into her face) was forgiven, but (oops!) she showed up terribly late and was as awful as everyone expected.

As we've come to learn over the past few months, Katherine Heigl wears the pants in her relationship with crooner Josh "Call Me Joshua" Kelley. She's made it clear that when it comes to baby-making, attracting gay men and winning Hollywood over, Heigl will have us know that she pretty much outperforms her hubby in every way. And just to prove her point that much further, Josh's beloved Katie will soon appear on the big screen wearing a very tight pair of tighty whities. And putting our strained relationship with "the next Julia Roberts" aside, we must say she's about to give Tom Cruise a run for his money.

There were plenty of noteworthy moments from last night's American Idol Tribute to the Many Songs and Slutty Looks of Mariah Carey, from David Cook's soundtrack-ready, grungemo rendition of "Always Be My Baby," to a stirring performance of ''When You Believe" by a leather bepanted David Archuleta (who could have just as easily located the spiritually redeeming undercurrent to the "shoe do do do do do do do/shoe do do do do do do yeahs" of "Fantasy"). But the most thrilling development, for us at least, came not from the stage, but rather the judge's table, shortly before Randy Jackson was called upon to apply his highly attuned pitchydar to Carly Smithson's take on "Without You."

When we first saw some screen shots from Jude Law's upcoming My Blueberry Nights, we couldn't help noticing the actor's abundance of messy highlighted hair atop his winky visage. Especially when compared to his respectable, but ever-so-slightly receding hairline in Alfie. And after being photographed in London recently sporting the beginnings of a George Costanza 'do, our suspicions that his character's curls in MBN were extensions for boys: "

Come on, his stories aren't THAT bad. It's David Letterman's job to keep the interview exciting. Also, what an EASY gimmick to add a stop watch sound.

Top five answers on the board, people! We know we just asked you take a survey about a month ago, but we have another quickie that we would REALLY like you all to take. Do us this solid, won't ya please? Everyone who completes this survey will put you in the running for a $300 AMEX gift certificate; standard rules apply. If you don't want us to sick Richard Dawson on you, your best option is to take our quick and painless little survey. Kisses!

We're not surprised at the news that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is locked in at a running time of 140 minutes — at least 20 minutes longer than it should be to achieve that coveted $300 million mark Paramount wants for it. But that's nothing compared to the film's production stills, the most dismaying of which we found couched over at Hollywood Elsewhere and you can check out after the jump.

· Al Pacino made a guest appearance on The Late Show With David Letterman last night to promote his new film, 88 Minutes (aka Nick Of Time 2: Nicked Again!). Let this clip of Al Pacino putting Dave Letterman and the rest of the viewing audience to sleep with his Ted Striker-esque stories be a lesson to all of you up-and-comers in Hollywood; should you ever get called to sit on the chair next to Dave, Jay, Conan, Jimmy or Craig, the most important thing you can do is to PRACTICE YOUR ANECDOTES. And if you get called to do Carson Daly's show? Don't worry, no one is watching. [CBS, video by Molly McAleer]
· In an unprecedented move in the nearly 100 year history of Hollywood, Marvel and Paramount are banding together to turn the phenomenal trailer for Iron Man into a full-length movie. We can't wait! [The Onion]
· The thing about Scientology that creeps us out the most is the fact that even the ones who get away are crazy. [YouTube]
· If they cast the Yo Quiero Taco Bell dog in Beverly Hills Ninja instead of Chris Farley, you'd have yourself Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Unholy. [/Film]
· Wondering why Short Ends came to you a few hours late tonight? Well, it's because your Uncle Grambo was finishing his taxes. Let this serve as a reminder to all of you West Coasters, there's only three hours left to file your taxes! That is, unless your first name is Wesley and your last name is Snipes. In that case, don't sweat it. [IRS]

· Grab yo grillz and go see Paul Wall at Crash Mansion, Subhumans at the Echo or Rocco DeLuca at Spaceland (for the latter two, grillz are optional only).
· June Casagrande is signing Mortal Syntax: 101 Language Choices that Will Get You Clobbered by the Grammar Snobs: Even if You're Right at Vroman's in Pasadena. Too bad she's going to be attacked by the punctuation snobs for having a book title that includes two colons.
· New Beverly Cinema screens The Sadist, followed by The Private Files of J. Edgar Hoover. The Sadist's legendary cinemtographer, Vilmos Zsigmond (The Deer Hunter), will also be appearing in person.

We always love a good box-office panic story this time of year, with studio execs smiling in your face and shitting in their pants while some exhibition insider somewhere blames the coming collapse on a batch of rotten tentpoles. Thank goodness for Carl DiOrio, whose Hollywood Reporter survey today notes that the spring season is down 19% from 2007 while summer promises even spicier drama to come:

Rhys Ifans and Sienna Miller's trip to Malibu hit a snag as Miller discovered that Ifans planned on wearing that hat to beach. Ifans told Miller that if she objects to his choice in hats, then she shouldn't buy them for him. He then was able to throw another word in edgewise that he also objects to her decision to frequently go topless at the beach. Miller sighed and then replied that it wasn't her that purchased the hat, but his stylist.

The Uwe Boll of Oscar bloggers, Tom O'Neil, is at it again over at Gold Derby, where his idle hands on the slowest of slow news days has him making all kinds of trouble for one of the undisputed classics of American silent cinema. "Undisputed," that is, until today, when O'Neil asked and (regrettably) answered the positively unessential question: What was the real Best Picture Oscar winner of 1927-28?