We would be lying to you if we said we knew exactly what the underlying theme of tonight's To Do video by Molls is. Suffice to say, our best description goes as such: imagine a Lynchian fever dream by way of shock music video director Chris Cunningham, only instead of featuring an army of Aphex Twin faced malevolent spirits coming at you, there's a kaleidoscopic series of Molly McAleers spinning round the frame to the beat of Girl Talk. In other words, it's crazed. Enjoy!

High School Musical trilogy star Vanessa Hudgens attempted to make a quick and anonymous exit from the Los Angeles area home of hunky boyfriend Zac Efron. Disguising herself in Efron's unwashed gym clothes, Hudgens assumed she'd be able to sneak away as one of Efron's friends or even as Efron himself. Yet as one photog said, "The sandals are kind of a give away, you know?"

As THR reported recently, MGM is planning a musical remake of the cult classic Valley Girl, which became the epitome of everything the magical land of acrylic nails and gum chewing addictions stood for in the early `80s. However, the remake is ruffling the feathers of many an industry insider, mainly because the brains behind this project are less interested in revisiting the infamous twang and mall headquarters associated with girls from the Valley, a group the film arguably captured better than any successor. Instead, the epic soundtrack will serve as the reincarnation's primary subject. But whether or not the idea tanks, we're just happy to have the chance to round up our five favorite on-screen Valley Girls to ever gag us with a spoon:

Today, friends, is one that brings us deep concern for the ladies of The View. First, we learned that outspoken pro-life activist Sherri Shepherd "had more abortions than I would like to count." (How many, we wonder, would she have had no problem with counting?) Then came this uncomfortable exchange between veteran nutjob Shirley MacLaine—who, let's face it, hasn't been playing with a full Mah Jong set since somewhere around the Hoover administration—and Elisabeth Hasselbeck:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our millions of Defamer operatives. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Adrian Grenier getting ready to Diving Bell the Butterfly out of "some model looking chick."

We're hearing today that Madonna might not be the only entertainment interest Alex Rodriguez reportedly plans to get into: According to The Wall Street Journal (via ESPN), the Yankees slugger and bachelor-to-be inked a deal with William Morris "in an attempt to extend his brand beyond the baseball diamond." A-Rod joins Dwayne Wade, Serena Williams and Kevin Garnett among WMA's athlete clientele, an affiliation he and manager Guy Oseary are hoping will nudge him deeper into commercials, endorsements, video games, self-help literature, yoga tutorials, reality-TV dance competitions, and, most importantly, an IMDB headshot and STARmeter ranking that won't embarrass the shit out of his rumored paramour. Yes, A-Rod, we agree — it's time. (Click the image for a larger view.)

On their way to an art class in Brentwood, Violet Affleck nearly provided the snaparazzi with the show of shows as she fumbled around with her famous mom's shirt collar. Jennifer Garner said, "Whoa, sweetie. Somebody is acting like a Chico State student who had one too many Coronas after finishing his last mid term final."

· Sony Pictures Classics is close to picking up Synecdoche, New York, Charlie Kaufman's sprawling directorial debut spanning 40 years in the life of a guy who tries to mount the greatest play of all time. It began as a real-time project, but has since been whittled down to a far more digestible two hours, four minutes. [THR]
· Nia Vardalos's long-awaited follow-up to My Big Fat Greek Wedding, My Life in Ruins, will be distributed by Fox Searchlight. In it, she plays a travel guide who gets her groove back while touring through Greezzzzzzzzzz. [THR]
· The Wiffler: The Ted Whitfield Story, is an "indie baseball mockumentary" set in the world of competitive wiffleball during the 1994 MLB strike. [Variety]
· Christian "Fierce™" Siriano will design all the looks for the young title character of Eloise in Paris, trying his best not to make the famed Plaza Hotel resident not look like some hot French tranny hooker mess. [Variety]
· From the people who brought you American Pie 2: Michael Vartan and David Cross will play "bitter tire store rivals" in Demoted. [THR]

Unless it results in an extra getting thrown off the set of Transformers 2 for lunch crimes against Michael Bay, we're not generally in the blog-comment monitoring business. But some flame wars are so spectacular (and some news days so implacably slow) they defy ignoring — especially when obvious intoxication is involved, and especially when the offending party himself is the only one around to catch fire.

There are tragedies and there are tragedies, and while we don't rank Absolut Vodka's purchase of a plaque on the Walk of Fame with, say, domestic Bat-violence, some fork-tongued marketing gnome still must have done a jig in his hot little corner of hell today as word of the sponsorship deal hit the LA Times. For a few hundred grand, Absolut today became a "Friend" of the Walk, complete with a "star-like plaque" near Hollywood and Highland.

Estelle Getty, best known for playing The Golden Girls's stroke-disinhibited Shady Pines-escapee Sophia Petrillo, has passed away at 5:30 a.m. after a long bout with Lewy body dementia. She was 84. Her son told reporters earlier today, "She was loved throughout the world in six continents, and if they loved sitcoms in Antarctica she would have been loved on seven continents. She was one of the most talented comedic actresses who ever lived." That sounds about right. We leave you now with this Sophia anecdote, and encourage you to leave your own in the comments:

Feel like crying today? Great! Thanks to Natalie Portman, queen of bizarre short films that never fail to please, a new music video collaboration with her homeless-but-hot folk singer boyfriend Devendra Banhart will bring on the tears. Whether they’re from fits of laughter or rage, we can’t say for sure. What we do know? This acid trip of a video starring Natalie as Princess Carmensita and Devendra as her “ratty-assed Compadré,” whose impressive Harry Potter treasure trail peeks out from various loincloths, might just be the best short Natalie has ever been in. Sure, her Gangsta Rap on SNL was epic (“All the kids lookin’ up to me can suck my dick!”), her bare butt saved Hotel Chevalier from putting us to sleep, and the best short film from Paris, Je T’Aime featured Natalie in one of the most romantic visions of Paris we’ve seen to date. But can any of these compare to killer snakes flying out of her eyes, demon avatars best viewed while stoned, or watching Natalie transform herself into an octopus, whose tentacles Devendra “entangles himself in”? Watch this truly bizarre video after the jump.

In between filming scenes for Entourage, Jeremy Piven warned beloved character actor Gary Cole to keep his flirting with female extras to a minimum unless he enjoyed being talked about the Howard Stern show and morning zoo radio shows. Piven said, "There's nothing quite like waking up to a Blackberry full of messages from your buddies on the East Coast talking about how some girl dragged your good name in the mud before getting on the Sybian or letting Beetlejuice throw lunch meat at her ass on the Stern show." Cole thanked Piven for the advice and told him that it wouldn't be an issue, seeing as how he's married.

Always on the lookout for the next bushy-stashed, swarthily complected foreigner to add to his comedic repertoire, Sacha Baron Cohen has attached himself to a comedy pitch snapped up by Fox Atomic. From Bruno co-writer Peter Baynham, the movie is based on those ubiquitous billboards and DASH ads you've likely idled behind in traffic countless times before. Yes, Accidentes, the adventures of "el mejor abogado," is coming to a cinema near you:

Shia LaBeouf attempted to be on his best behavior as he exited a Robeks on Tuesday morning. LaBeouf was not in the mood to get involved in any shenanigans involving local law enforcement. At first, LaBeouf began to casually stroll by the police, but then he decided it might be better to just sprint back to his car. During his gallop, LaBeouf accidentally dropped his smoothie on the ground. One of the officers got up from their seat and asked the Eagle Eye star if everything was okay. LaBeouf said, "I just dropped my smoothie. Don't worry, I'll clean it up. There's no law about dropping smoothies, right?" The officer shrugged his shoulders and sat back down and mentioned to his partner how that kid from Indiana Jones seemed a bit paranoid.

Monday's news that Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper officially ended their eponymous film-review show might have presaged a dark, thumbless era of criticism, but we're learning today that all is not lost. The higher-ups at Disney are reportedly set to relaunch At the Movies with unique incestuous flava for a new generation, inviting E! fluffer Ben Lyons and ex-Young Turk/current TCM host Ben Mankiewicz aboard for all the middlebrow, multiplex-ready chatter America can stand. And to hear the guys tell it after the jump, they can't wait to get started:

At NBC's TCA press conference yesterday, network co-chairs Ben Silverman and Marc Graboff confirmed their plans to eject Jay Leno from The Tonight Show via jerry-rigged catapult device on May 29, 2009. That gives them only three rushed days to erect a new set and change the dressing room door names from "Kevin Eubanks" to "Masturbating Bear" for the premiere of replacement host, Conan O'Brien. There to press the executives on the questionably motivated decision to fire the highest-rated name in late night (Graboff insisted they'd like to keep Leno at NBC Universal, but give us a break): Leno himself, disguised in a bald wig, goatee, and glasses:

Popular actress Katherine Heigl valiantly fought her urge to enjoy one of her trademark cigarettes after a meal in Pasadena on Monday. It was a perfect moment for a cigarette; the waiter even put an ashtray on the table for Heigl. Yet Heigl remained steadfast in her decision to restart her New Year''s resolution a few months later. Mrs. Heigl noticed the tension in her daughter's face and slightly nudged the ashtray over to her daughter. Heigl shot the ashtray back like a hockey puck. Heigl said, "I just have this really big food baby, right now. It'll pass in a bit."

The unstoppable Dark Knight Dark Publicity&trade campaign—what Terry Gilliam describes as a "great white shark which devours whatever it can"—continues to feed hungrily on bad-news chum. We're still waiting for more specific details on what Christian Bale did, exactly, to his mother Jenny, 61, and sister Sharon, 40, that led the two to file assault charges against the actor, ultimately leading to his arrest today at London's Dorchester Hotel. As The Sun first reported, the actor, in town for the European premiere The Dark Knight, "lashed out" at the family members at the hotel Sunday night. Both lodged a complaint yesterday, but officials apparently held off for Bale to attend a series of press conferences and last night's premiere in Leicester square. A police spokesperson would only offer: "A 34-year-old man attended a London police station on Tuesday by appointment and was arrested in connection with an allegation of assault. He currently remains in custody."

If it's true that he who laughs last laughs loudest, then we can hear M. Night Shyamalan this morning cackling all the way from his exurban Philadelphia enclave. Less than two months after his beleaguered The Happening hurdled billboard vandals and epidemic critical loathing on the way to wallet-fattenting coup, Cash-Machine Manoj announced a deal with financiers Media Rights Capital to develop and produce a slate of films through 2011.