Before heading out on an adventure, headgear aficionado Samanatha Ronson asked gal pal Lindsay Lohan if she could leave the tophat she was wearing in their hotel room. Ronson said, "Don't try to steal my look, okay? I mean, how would you like it if I were to started to wear leggings?" Lohan said that she'd love it if Ronson started to wear leggings. Ronson smiled, but asked again if Lohan could take off the hat since it's her thing and it's a symbol of her individual freedom.

With news that the MPAA has given Kevin Smith's "hey—let's put on a sex show!" movie Zack and Miri Make A Porno—starring Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks and due for release this Halloween—a dreaded NC-17 rating, we turned to Defamer senior editor and resident Weinsteinologist S.T. VanAirsdale for analysis. The result was an iChat exchange we're seriously considering printing up and affixing to our fridge with a taxi-shaped magnet.

It's that time of year again, when Hollywood's biggest stars harvest their multiplex crops, drop the hammer on their mums and size up their places among Forbes's annual list of highest-paid movie stars. As we've come to expect, it's Will Smith's world, with the megastar and noted Scientology-school patron raking in $80 million since last June; the remainder of the list comprises mainstays like Johnny Depp ($72 million) and Leonardo DiCaprio ($45 million) along with slip-sliding shockers including Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers, each tied at $55 million thanks in large part to the Shrek franchise's enduring success.

We'll admit to not having yet fully absorbed yesterday's news that Estelle Getty had shuffled off this mortal coil to the 1912-Sicily-in-the-sky. Stalled as we are in the early, "Why couldn't it have been someone from Empty Nest?!"-stages of the Kübler-Ross model, we hand you over now to YouTube video diarist fromthe60s. His lachrymal remembrance of "one of the funniest people I ever got to see on TV" is surely the most moving—if not the moistest—user-generated-video testimonial since Leave Britney Alone Guy beseeched us to leave Britney alone. We swear, without the courageousness of Young Gays Who Feel Too Much, there'd be literally nothing to do all day at the office besides work.

Luckily we had the Shirley MacLaine/Elisabeth Hasselbeck Radionics Smackdown to distract us from the true dark cloud hanging over The View's studios yesterday. Namely, the release of a new Sherri Shepherd interview in Born Again Diva Illustrated, in which she talked openly about her rough past of crack-addicted sisters, abusive boyfriends, promiscuous activity, and—most troubling of all—"more abortions than I'd like to count." On the show today, Shepherd acknowledged that she had admitted to having had "a lot of abortions." It was an announcement that landed with a thud, rendering even Joy Behar unable to produce an appropriate wisecrack ("Oh, honey—talk about Living Lohan!" Audience laughter...applause...) to lighten the somber mood.

Though they only confirmed their relationship a short time ago, it looks like Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson may already be heading for a break-up! One of our inside New York sources, Guest of a Guest spotted the actress/deejay duo at the Waverly Inn last night, a Gotham hotspot frequented by all of the Big Apple's most in-the-know glitterati. All seemed well enough as they dashed out of a sleek black SUV and past the usual swarm of paparazzi into the restaurant. But then things got ugly! Our source tells us:

Entourage star Jeremy Piven had a shocking trip to his local bank on Tuesday afternoon. Apparently, the ATM declared that the Pivs had insufficient funds in his account and spit out his ATM card. Piven told the ATM that wasn't cool and quickly re-inserted his card into the machine. Yet as soon as Piven put the card back in, it came back out. Pivs was about to kick the ATM when a bank employee came outside and said, "Oh, hi! The ATM has been on the fritz, telling everybody that they have insufficient funds and junk like that. Sorry for the trouble!" Piven then adjusted his suit jacket and declared that he's seriously considering joining a credit union.

Last week I did something I have not done in a long time: wait in line to get into a bar. (Hold the rotten tomatoes, that's the only perk this job has.) Actually, scratch that. I have NEVER waited in line to get into a bar. Clubs? Sure. But bars? Um, no. But this wasn't just any bar. This was Father's Office, the brand spanking new Culver City outpost of the Santa Monica hotspot. And as if to prove just how hot it was, there was not only a line, but also a velvet rope (!!!) and a doorman.

A veritable murderer's row of egos, tempers and divas, Defamer's All-Strop Team is on fire in recent weeks with heavy-hitters from Mike Myers to Edward Norton to Eddie Murphy digging new box-office holes around the country. But the heart and soul of the line-up, Jim Carrey, will get at least one more chance this fall to knock a bomb out of the yard with his forthcoming Yes Man; based on the memoir by British humorist Danny Wallace, the film follows the life changes of a downbeat man who decides to say yes to everything. The A-list set-urinator reportedly accepted no money up front for the title role, inspiring us to wonder exactly who is benefiting from the aggressive product placement spotlighted in this new trailer. Is Zooey Deschanel really commanding such lucre already? This has All-Strop rookie of the year written all over it. [YouTube]

We forwarded Matthew McConaughey's people your favorite suggestions of Bongo Romcom and Miller Chill, but it seems he chose to go the Old Timey Gold Prospector route, and named his son Levi Alves. The OK! magazine exclusive currently gracing Gelson's checkout aisles and 7-Eleven service counters reportedly netted McConaughey $3 million; paired with the earnings from his Beef Guild spots, this additional income allows the actor the freedom to pursue smaller passion projects like Surfer, Dude. Flanked on the cover by girlfriend Camila Alves and tiny, perfect Levi, McConaughey still manages to maintain sultry eye-contact with the camera, as if to say, "Yeah, I'm a dad. But I'm not dead. Catch my drift? Is anyone else's shirt chaffing them? Boy, I could sure go for a lobster roll. Is there a clam shack in the area?" McConaughey explained to the magazine how the delivery room was transformed into an flip-flop-devouring bongo-vortex:

The salad may provide me with enough energy to last rest of today's filming. But, my Blackberry is my Blackberry and I can talk to my husband. The salad is healthy and may be delicious; I think it's a chicken salad of some kind. But, I can talk to all of my friends and see what they're up to. I could find out if Ryan Seacrest really sleeps with his Blackberry under his pillow. I mean, I could do both, but my one handed typing skills are not as strong as I'd like them to be. Tony is good at it, though. Maybe he can teach me. I should message him about that. I think I'm going to do both because they take away my Blackberry as soon as I get within 5 feet of the set.

Three months is apparently an eternity in comic-book years: Just when we thought we'd gotten our heads around the impact of Iron Man's smashing success, it looks like that The Dark Knight's Batrocket into the box-office record books (another $24.6 million on Monday!) necessitates a whole new flurry of comics-centric development around Hollywood. And while Wired has a roundup of movers and shakers basking in collective geek glows of summer hits also including Wanted, Hellboy II and The Incredible Hulk, newly flush Warner Bros. handed off a chunk of the spotlight to slumping Bryan Singer just for the hell of it:

How's this for an unlikely couple? Former CSI star-turned-drug-runner Gary Dourdan and the singer responsible for the most annoying song of the decade, James Blunt, have apparently pooled together whatever cash they have left in their respective bank accounts and gone on holiday together. While on an Ibizan vacation of sin, the heroin/ecstasy enthusiast and the notorious player teamed up to stage a far racier version of Miley Cyrus’ homemade porny photo spreads, as they posed alongside at least three topless prostitutes female friends who were overjoyed to fake anal sex and engage in a little lesbian chic foreplay for the paparazzi. The NSFW photos, including a particularly fun shot of the blondest, nude-iest girl for hire who appears to be delighted to have her head shoved towards the third wheel's crotch, after the jump:

A crestfallen David Spade left Hollywood hot spot Coco de Ville after being mistaken for daytime talk show host Ellen DeGeneres ... again. While waiting for a drink at the bar, Spade was tapped on a shoulder by a woman and was told that the woman just loves her talk show and think it's really great that she's going to marry Portia De Rossi ("You've got to lock that down"). When the Rules Of Engagement star turned around, the woman's face turned bright red and she quickly apologized. After the incident, Spade held a mini conference with his amigos about creating a new look; Spade said, "It was okay when I used to get mistaken for a Hanson Brother or Owen Wilson or a Boz Scaggs roadie, but this Ellen comparison is happening too often."

We return you live to the frontlines of the Dark Knight Dark Publicity™ campaign, where the comely star of the highest-opening movie of all time—we swear we're looking for any photo that registers less than "sweltering" on the Bat-Hunk Meter, and coming up short— is facing down his most formidable foe yet: His professional clown mother, Momzo. Here's all the latest:
· The Daily Mail is reporting that Bale "flew off the handle" when his mother said "some outrageous things" about the actor's wife, makeup artist Sandra "Sibi" Blazic. He responded by calling her some very heated, un-Batmanly-like things, and was charged with Class 5 verbal assault, the least aggravated of all verbal-assault classes. (Class 1 is when you start entering the "You farty nincompoop!!!"-area. Thank god he didn't go there.) [Fox News]

The independent-film slaughterhouse revved back into action this morning with news that Red Envelope Entertainment, the acquisitions and financing division of Netflix, shut its doors after three years. The division helped underwrite and/or release titles including the Maggie Gyllenhaal drama Sherrybaby, the Oscar-nominated documentary No End in Sight and Julie Delpy's directorial debut Two Days in Paris; it's last film appears to be the psychosexual Ben Kingsley/Penelope Cruz drama Elegy, opening next month.

· Rainn Wilson fulfilled a lifelong fantasy Friday, and reported the weather on CNN. It's about as thrilling as it sounds. [CNN via BWE.tv]
· Portuguese soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo has been hanging around WeHo while he recovers from knee surgery, apparently with Scary Spice's legs on loan until he's back in tip-top shape. [Just Jared]
· Michael Bay isn't trying to reinvent the kickass Transformers teaser wheel here, folks: Get your "Even Gianter Fucking Robots Are Coming" Transformers 2 T-shirts while they're hot! [Slashfilm]
· Here's how to hack a Chuck E. Cheese animatronic house band with terrible Usher music, to much YouTube acclaim. [detnews.com]
· Good news, lesbians! You can keep calling yourselves that. [BBC]
· We'd hate to leave you without photos of adult-contempo cretin James Blunt partying on some boat with Coachella casualty Gary Dourdan and a bunch of randy birds. [Daily Mail]

After many months spent posing topless in glossies, making out with girls, and staging her very own wet t-shirt photo shoots, Miley Cyrus is finally giving up on that whole innocent tween image perfected by Disney and is officially turning into Lindsay Lohan. As MSNBC reports, Cyrus is supposedly "really interested" in nabbing a role in Undiscovered Gyrl, a screen adaptation of an as-yet-unreleased novel written by Naomi Watts' ex-fiancé. So what does the role of "Gyrl" entail? The plot of the novel revolves around an 18-year old blogger whose interests include alcohol abuse, sleeping around with as many men as possible, and reckless partying. Naturally, a part like this will require several nude scenes, meaning the 15-year old belly dancer and tween icon would finally get paid for revealing her naughty bits this time around, should she get the part. But stripping down and playing bad girls on-screen isn't the only sign that Miley is Lindsay 2.0 — thanks to her newfound (nudity-based) fame, the underage millionaire has already launched a nasty war of words against her competition, morphing into a real-live Mean Girl overnight:

A reader today passes along what looks to be Defamer's final epic installment of the Grazer Family Fun Trilogy, a series previously comprising megaproducer Brian's shirtless likeness and a heartwarming follow-up outlining the love-hate relationship between the megaproducer and his troubled actor-producer brother Gavin. Now we finally have the ending for which we've waited months: The Other Brother, a touching (if unsettling), decades-in-the-making home-movie mash-up directed by Gavin and featuring Brian as a sun-kissed resort god who makes middle-aged women squeal ("Oscar-winner!") and can cheat even the most formidable ocean current with his bare arms. Listen closely for Gavin's cameo ("You ever see Armed & Dangerous? He did that."), and gawk along with the rest of us at the 8mm magic of a little Grazerhead in the making. They don't make them like this anymore. [YouTube]

It was the Blockbuster Scandal That Ate the Morning! There it was, splashed across the pages of every paper from The Gotham Times to the Gotham Mirror: Batman was behind bars for allegedly attacking his own sister and mom—in a sense turning him into the very kind of societal ill he'd committed his life to ridding using a wide variety of bat-shaped objects. Out on bail and charged with no crime, Bale's lawyer told reporters the accusations aren't true: