(Update: Stevie Wonder Cross another address off your Star Maps: Stevie Wonder is the second celeb in eight days to lose his home to fire, reportedly suffering a total loss earlier this week when the ongoing Sesnon blaze claimed his Porter Ranch-area manse. Wonder's house was one of 49 destroyed in the flames, which has burned 18,000 acres in the Valley since a downed power line sparked the wildfire on Monday. And as stunned as we were to hear the cost of Nick Nolte's own infernal tragedy last week, Page Six notes that the R&B icon lost way, way more than a cardboard cutout of Jesus. (UPDATE: The Wonder house survived! More after the jump.)

Oh America, when will your bothersome Puritanism stop infringing on The Weinstein Co.'s movie marketing efforts? First the MPAA banned the poster for the upcoming Kevin Smith flick Zack and Miri Make a Porno, on the grounds that it was too blowjob-y. So they changed the poster to one featuring simple stick figures. Sorry, whores of Hollywood Babylon, that's not enough to protect our children!: Ads for the movie are being rejected across the nation! Boston ads drew complaints. Philly banned them altogether. And in Los Angeles, the dastardly marketing scheme is preventing children from understanding a baseball strategy in which a runner on third base breaks for home as the pitch is thrown and the batter simultaneously bunts, which can pay off in a run unless the batter misses the bunt, in which case it's almost surely an out at the plate:

· There's something filthy in the air with all these cable pundits: After Dennis Kneale's CNBC f-bomb, CNN's Leslie Sanchez gets labeled a "cunt-cunt-contributor" by anchor Kyra Phillips, in one glorious undoing of 30 years of stutter-repression. · Sasha Grey is the porn star cast by Steven Soderbergh in his first hardcore foray, The Girlfriend Experience. Fleshbot's got some footage of the director delivering notes. · The heirs to an old, rich fogie are suing Jay Leno for unlawfully appropriating his old, rich fogie's car. · The Henson Co. are producing The Happytime Murders, a noir murder mystery that takes place "in a world where humans and puppets co-exist." Kind of like a pediatric sex crimes unit! · Here's a candid shot from the CAA lunchroom. · Hey—spam unicorns!

We Didn't Want To Believe. Despite having completed his sex-addict's rehab-training certification classes and putting on a brave, united front at aCzechoslovakian street fair, David Duchovny and longtime spouse Tea Leoni have announced their separation: "In light of continuous speculation over the lives and marriage of Tea Leoni and David Duchovny, the couple has confirmed that they have in fact been separated for several months. The couple had hoped to keep this separation private for the sake of their children." [People]

The Beverly Hills, 90210 franchise has historically not been kind to the elder relatives of its nubile teens, which is why we were a little confused when producers of the new 90210 reboot announced that they'd be casting not just parents but a grandmother. Would there really be room on the show for a regular over sixty, we wondered? Then, they hired Jessica Walter for the role and announced she'd essentially be reprising her Lucille Bluth character from Arrested Development, and suddenly all the Shannens and Jennies in the world paled in comparison. Sadly, EW's Michael Ausiello says that Walter's contract has now been slashed:

In this, your third-to-last encounter with Defamer videographer and ToDoLogist extraordinaire Molly McAleer, Molls digests today's news that Madonna and Guy Ritchie are divorcing. (She also digests some Ben and Jerry's. We always admired her for being one of the most lactose-tolerant people we know.) But wait! Just when you think she's about to rail on the Material Lady for running into A-Rod's slimy embrace, Molls goes and does the ol' point of view switcheroo on you, and celebrates the singer's bold new reincarnation as a dominatrix divorcee. Your To Dos are after the jump:· Your Girlfriend's Spooktacular Halloween Show at Art/Works Theater · The Virgins at the Mayan · John C. Reilly at Largo

Robert Duvall may have been one of the few Hollywood Republicans to avoid the cinematic turkey that was An American Carol, but that doesn't mean the venerable actor isn't willing to speak out about his political opinions. This week, Duvall attended a $1,500-a-head GOP fundraiser where he was tasked with introducing vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, and the actor let loose with a series of left-bashing statements that would place him firmly on the elder side of the McCain/Letterman War of '08:

Diablo Cody—Patron Saint of Former Strippers Who Did It Just for the Experience but Ultimately Aspired to Something More—is the writer of The United States of Tara, a new Showtime series previewed in the promotional package above. Starring Toni Colette and based on an idea by Steven Spielberg, much is riding on Tara and its tale of an American mom who just happens to suffer from dissociative identity disorder. Diablo defends her lighthearted treatment of the illness as such:

Click to viewBoomp3.com The stakes have been raised this year at the Justin Timberlake celebrity golf tournament in Las Vegas. Instead of the usually celebrities playing with a few fans and having a casual, fun game of golf, the celebs and now fans have to play 18 holes with popular television personality Ellen DeGeneres on their back. DeGeneres doesn’t feel she’s an obstacle or hindrance, but is instead supportive and helpful. DeGeneres said, “Who doesn’t enjoy a hug? I know I do. So, I’m just offering support.” [Photo Credit: Getty Images] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Harvey Calls in Sick: The beleaguered Harvey Weinstein dropped out of his scheduled keynote interview today at the Dow Jones/Nielsen "Media and Money" conference in New York, reportedly deferring to brother Bob and Weinstein Company COO Lee Solomon while he attended to a "personal matter." On the agenda: "[W]hat is Weinstein's view on the future of the film business and his company?" We hear his proxies stayed positive in the face of Harvey's conspicuous absence, noting that they have a sure-fire Oscar hopeful on their hands for December and that charitable giving is up a million percent from 2007. [DHD]

Lone View conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck is typically out on a limb when her cohosts start talking politics; to expect someone else at the table to take up her pro-Palin, anti-Obama mantle is as fruitless as expecting a hug from Barbara Walters. That's what made it all the more novel today when Whoopi Goldberg agreed with Hasselbeck that Sarah Palin has been the victim of sexist attacks, then attempted to shut down additional critiques of the candidate from Joy Behar.Sure, Goldberg is The View's moderator and thus tasked with keeping the peace, but can Hasselbeck expect this unlikely ally to come to her defense in the future? At least Behar will still have some company — take a second look at her slams on Palin, and it's clear that she's picked up finger-wagging techniques from Sherri Shepherd.

Time again for Watch, TiVo, Kill—your guide to what to watch, snuggled up with the pet who fills the hole where a suitable lifemate should be. WATCH The Presidential Debate [9 PM EST/6 PM PST, Major Networks] - Live from Hofstra University in Long Island, Bob Schieffer moderates the third and final Presidential debate. For the three undecided voters in LA County, this will be an opportunity to learn more about the candidates. For the thousands of pinko hipsters, it's a chance to play drinking games and make snarky comments.

Certainly we'd never wish suffering or terror on anyone, but it's refreshing to see our friends at MGM hand off this week's fleeing-in-terror duties to someone else for a change: A Defamer operative sent word minutes ago that staffers at MTV and Lionsgate have evacuated their positions due to a gas leak in the garage of their Santa Monica headquarters. But where to go, especially without the aid of their threatened vehicles?Where else? "Everyone is now having drinks at the Daily Grill," says our source of the shellshocked line of refugees filing across Colorado for some extra dry humanitarian aid — with two olives, and maybe some food. Can they have another minute to decide? Meanwhile, please say a prayer for their safe, swift return to work; if this turns out anything like the building's last crisis in 2006, we'll have an explanation (along with a video of the culprit) by the end of the day.

Today, Entertainment Weekly released images from its upcoming issue devoted to J.J. Abrams's reboot of Star Trek, and featured on the cover were the two clearest looks yet at Zachary Quinto as Spock and Chris Pine as Kirk (what, were Tyler Perry and Winona Ryder busy?). Heroes star Quinto has seemed like a natural to don Leonard Nimoy's ears ever since the casting was announced, but we must admit that this cover gave us pause. Is it the amped-up drag queen eyebrows? Or is it that Quinto, with his severe bob and vacant expression, resembles a Marfan's-afflicted Katie Holmes? Let's do a side-by-side:

In our ongoing effort to bring you the very latest critical distaste for every prestige film this fall, we follow up last week's collection of lukewarm W. reviews with hot-off-the-presses ambivalence toward Frost/Nixon. Ron Howard and Brian Grazer's adaptation of the Tony Award-winning play reunites Frank Langella and Michael Sheen as, respectively, the 37th president and his pesky TV inquisitor; the early word confirms that the film offers gravitas to spare, but you'll want to bring your own pillow:· "It’s difficult to think of a director less-suited to take on the intricate, minutiae-obsessed writing of Peter Morgan than Howard — a director who, even in his finest films, has always been interested in the big picture first, with characters serving history rather than the other way round. [...] Leading with his impressive, booming approximation of the Nixon voice, Langella is allowed to actively chew scenery and the performance becomes increasingly detached from the overall work." — Guy Lodge, InContention [via Patrick Goldstein] · "Sheen's impersonation of Frost starts with the classic tics: the head waggle, the nasal droning, the tiny soupçon of Brucie - but he soon sounds like ... well ... Tony Blair. [...] Nixon is a juicy part and Langella extracts every tasty drop.But the performance has no room to grow. Frost and Nixon have no 'real-world' encounters: it is like a boxing movie about two combatants who never meet outside the ring." — Peter Bradshaw, The Guardian · "Although it all pays off in a potent and revelatory final act rife with insights into the psychology and calculations of power players, the initial stretch is rather dry and prosaic. Perhaps needlessly adopting a cinematic equivalent of the play's direct-to-audience address, Howard 'interviews' several of the characters, witness-style, about the events, which only serves to make the film feel somewhat choppy, half like a documentary at first. [...] It might even be that the film could have done without the talking heads altogether." — Todd McCarthy, Variety All right, all right — fine. Let Grazer write this one off to Gigi and let's just move on to '09, already.

We'll start out by saying we've never really been a Dancing with the Stars person, just like we've never been a cat or coconut person. Not that we aren't amenable to garish talent competitions—but there's something so pungently desperate about this particular affair, so, "Look at me world! I've found my Z-list celebrity purpose again!" that it manages to exceed even our vast capacity for brain-smoothing frivolousness. That said—what a show!It kicked off with the familiar kaleidoscopic opener, the viewing of which lulls the audience into a light trance, rendering them pliable to host Tom Bergeron's kinky sexual bidding whenever he utters the word "Bruno." That was followed by a series of political attack spoof ads, the twelfth as funny as the first, plus an encore performance of Lance Bass's sultry Tango del Eyeliner. Sadly, it was Rocco DiSpirito who danced with Death last night, its rhinestone-encrusted scythe falling on the comely chef who ultimately proved incapable of locating the soul inside a samba the way he does his Mama's Meatballs. At least he can go home with his head held high, knowing Mario Batali would never have been able to pull off that fuchsia sleeveless number.

It is already October 15th! How did that happen? I guess you could say that the Earth rotated around the sun a specific number of times and that days winnowed into nights which bled into days and so on and so on in the circle game. I think that's it. So, how have we been spending these ever-marching autumn hours? Watching TV, of course! Lots and lots of TV. Some has been good (Mad Men, The Daily Show), some has been bad (90210), and some has just been puzzling (Two and a Half Men?). So as we approach the ever-important November Sweeps Week—when networks set their ad rates based on inflated, extraordinary episodes that don't actually reflect typical week-in, week-out quality—let's take a second to give a quarter term report card. How has television been faring, you know, quality-wise (because we already know that ratings are in the toilet)? We'll analyze after the jump.

Hospitalizations: Queer as Folk lead Gale Harold, who was added to Desperate Housewives this season as Teri Hatcher's new love interest, is in critical condition following a motorcycle accident yesterday. The actor fractured his shoulder and has swelling on the brain, but Housewives creator Mark Cherry said he is hopeful for a full recovery. [HuffPo]

Click to viewBoomp3.com Another day, another Mileuary celebration for Disney mega star Miley Cyrus at West Hollywood sweet spot, Millions of Shakes. Mileuary is a month long celebration of all things Miley including a party at Disneyland and trips to the local ice cream parlor. Cyrus believes that she has planned one heck of a party on which to end Mileuary. Cyrus said, “I rented out the club Rage for the final event and we’re going to go off like no other. Milkshakes for everybody in West Hollywood that night. Drink it up.” [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

We come together today to eulogize the genius who created one of television's most brilliant series. No, not David Chase, creator of The Sopranos. Have no fear, Matt Groenig remains among the living. Instead, the madman that we are paying tribute to is James E. Reilly, who created perhaps the most demented show that has ever existed, the NBC soap Passions. According to Soap Opera Digest, the 60-year-old Reilly passed away over the weekend while recovering from cardiac surgery. He leaves behind a sister, Cathy Robinson, as well as many of the most insane things that have ever happened on television. We're talking child witches with thought bubbles, armies made exclusively of fighting lesbians, insanely convoluted incest storylines — and that's just for starters! We've got a more in-depth sampling, after the jump.A mere perusal of Passions-related entries on Wikipedia unearths these amazing sentences, which make no more sense out of context than they were intended to on the show: