ABC, desperate to shed its position as America's fourth-place network, is shaking things up in the Fall. [Ed.note—We were under the mistaken impression that ABC—all of it— was cancelled in February and only running edited versions of straight-to-video Disney sequels. Our bad.] Like NBC, they're cutting down their sitcom slate, which will go from 10 shows to 8 and from three nights to two.

Low Culture's Guy Cimbalo notices an uncomfortable similarity between an item on the Olsen Twins' New York Minute that he wrote over a month ago and a May 14th Entertainment Weekly piece that details myriad "appropriations" Minute made from other films. The text of the EW article is presented on Low Culture so you can decide if great minds think alike or other "appropriations" were made. We know that we always make everything about us, but we're kind of excited for EW "Hot Sheet" editor Jim Mullen to steal items and inject his trademark humorlessness into them.

Actor Tony Randall, Broadway mainstay and Odd Couple star, died today at the age of 84. We're not exactly sure what this says about us, but one of the most indelible television images from our childhood is from the opening credits of The Odd Couple. Fussy Felix Unger uses the top of his umbrella to spear the cigar butt that sloppy Oscar Madison has just callously dropped onto a New York City sidewalk. Every single time we saw it, we mistook the cigar for a famous NYC "dirty water" sidewalk cart hot dog, and were momentarily appalled that Oscar would throw such a delicious snack onto the ground. We're going to mist up the next time an Odd Couple rerun comes on.

Following in the footsteps of The New Republic's recent piece, the New York Post's Corey Levitan bravely infiltrates the Kabbalah Center. Predictably, he finds Madonna there, wearing a cheeky "Cult Member" t-shirt, thus proving beyond the shadow of a doubt that she isn't brainwashed—it's an established fact that the first part of the mind that cults erase is the lobe that enjoys an ironic t-shirt. Ever see a Scientologist in a shirt that says "If I Try And Leave, L.Ron Hubbard's Goons Will Kill My Agent?"

Scientists have tackled a problem that threatened to tear the very fabric of society: We don't see enough movie advertisements. At the recent Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3), models wore these T-shirts that feature embedded video screens showing trailers for I, Robot. This breakthrough takes us one step closer to the utopian ideal of porn projected on the inside of our eyelids.

· Even huge stars can break out in pimples like an average teenage boy. But as far as we know, teenage boys can't date Justin Timberlake.
· Trend watch: In London, people are encouraged to stick their gum on images of celebrities rather than chuck it on the ground. Coming soon to Hollywood: Celebrity urinal cakes.
· This obsession with Lindsay Lohan's body parts is getting absurd. We do not in any way encourage people to look at the possibly-exposed nipples of anyone under eighteen. Please wait until mid-July to click this link.
· Why do stars go kookoo for Kabbalah? "By the fourth class you will learn to see into the future."

We've been wracking our brains all day trying to find an excuse to post the pictures of Alexandra Kerry's see-through dress. It's a nipple shot, so Fleshbot is all over it. Kerry is the daughter of a presidential candidate, giving Wonkette the opportunity to sing the tits electric. We were rapidly approaching desperation. Isn't Alexandra a filmmaker or something? Has she ever been to Hollywood? Then, duh. It happened at the Cannes Film Festival. Potential First Daughter jugs, welcome to Defamer. (Click the picture at left for the NSFW version.)