All the best people work for Donald Trump.

Last season on “Donald Trump Is Terrified of Being Humiliated by People Who Actually Know What They’re Talking About,” Trump set a precedent of laying groundwork for his debate ditching long before the actual debate could take place. And now, season two Trump is gearing up to be just as craven.

After Trump gave a half-joking sort of non-answer to Bernie Sanders’ request to debate during Jimmy Kimmel Live earlier this week, Trump has finally clarified his answer that “if [Bernie] paid a nice sum for a charity, I would love to [debate]!” The clarification being that Trump, in fact, meant “no.”

Tonight, Senator Bernie Sanders and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton participate in the final debate before of the most important primary of all time, on Tuesday. The debate will be broadcast from the crown jewel of New York City: the Brooklyn Navy Yard. Gawker and Jezebel are here, and we’re blogging.

Tonight’s Democratic debate featured the first explicit question on climate change (from a moderator) of the primary season, despite the fact that last year was the warmest in the United States on record. This winter has also been the warmest on record.

The dialogue during the Republican presidential debate on Saturday evening got heated. So heated, in fact, that it devolved into an entirely different language, giving everyone in the audience a fun glimpse at the Spanish skills of the candidates who want to expel many of this country’s Spanish-speaking residents.

Hillary Clinton caused a stir over the weekend when, during the otherwise unremarkable Democratic debate, she showed up late to her podium after a commercial break. Her excuse: The bathroom was far and women take longer to pee anyway. Our assessment: A good president has to be able to hold it.

Somehow, impossibly, we’ve made it through five total GOP debates over the course of five months. We’ve seen spirits crushed (Jeb), lies told (everyone), and would-be dictators rouse the masses (Trump). At a certain point, all the racism, bickering, and stupidity just start blending together. Here’s a refresher.

Donald Trump is definitely not a racist xenophobe, he’s just a normal presidential candidate whose immigration plan would be modeled after an Eisenhower-era mass deportation called “Operation Wetback.” The real estate tycoon and seasonally appropriate squash made approving reference to likable Ike’s Mexican roundup during Tuesday night’s GOP debate:

Somehow, once again, all the candidates’ demands have been met, the undercard round finished, and Ted Cruz’s flesh mask polished to a sheen. Come 9:00 p.m. EST, it’s time for another GOP debate live blog. And as our host for the evening will be Fox Business, this one is almost guaranteed to be extra terrible. We can’t wait.

After patriotism and religion, “attacking the media” is the most popular refuge of the scoundrel.

A little secret of political journalism is that the vast majority of it is just some jerk’s opinion, which has a scientific value roughly equal to your own idiot opinion.

Harvard professor and campaign finance reform crusader Lawrence Lessig is running for the Democratic nomination for president. He was not allowed in tonight’s debates. Luckily, he stopped by to explain his entire platform to us.

At 8 p.m. Eastern, the top eleven candidates for the Republican nomination for the presidency will take the stage at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, California, to embarrass themselves, their loved ones, and the country they hope to lead as they vie for a chance to run this great nation into the ground. Again.

“When Did It Become OK For A $12 Sandwich Not To Come With A Side?” Wow—I could not agree more.

And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy. And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority.

Steel yourself for the inevitable, intractable exchanges with America's least-subtle Second Amendment Men using this "Arguing With Gun Nuts on Twitter" bingo card, via writer and seasoned Twitter troll Bobby Big Wheel.

Four men vying for the Republican nomination for governor of Idaho had a debate last night, and an SNL sketch broke out. Seriously, the least weird thing about it was the incumbent governor, and his name is Butch Otter.

Homeboy Sandman responds to some criticisms (particularly this piece by Kimberly Foster) of the essay he published on our site. "I'm also not sure why she keeps insinuating that I have nothing at stake. I'm an independent artist who's livelihood is predicated entirely on the hip hop community supporting me, who just released an article titled 'Black People Are Cowards.' Is that not risky enough for you?"

Mayoral candidates Bill de Blasio and Joe Lhota believe that their final debate Tuesday should be rescheduled because it will take place on the anniversary of Hurricane Sandy hitting New York. "We need to remember," Lhota said. "I think it's very, very important to do that."