death

Martha Displeased With Sarah Palin's Turkey Massacre

Pareene · 11/24/08 05:25PM

So the other day, Alaska Senator Sarah Palin staged her traditional "pardoning a turkey" photo-op standing directly in front of a man engaged in slaughtering turkeys, because, hey, a team of mavericks won't always agree on where to hold the easiest photo-op of any politician's career. Maybe she can stage the ribbon-cutting of an orphanage at an abortion clinic next time? (Haha as if Alaska had any of those.) Then, because life isn't bizarre enough these days, shouty MSNBC political pundit Keith Olbermann discussed the issue with daytime TV's soft-spoken criminal mastermind Martha Stewart. Martha was not happy. "That was an especially gruesome scene back there," she says. Why is Keith Olbermann in Martha Stewart's cozy stage kitchen wearing a comfortable black sweater, maybe pretending to cook something? We don't know! Though Inside Edition, America's Best Peabody-Award-Winning(?) Syndicated News-Resembling Program, tracked down the guy who actually slaughtered the turkeys, back there behind Sarah Palin, for a heartwarming Thanksgiving tale of redemption and Man's Dominion of the Earth.

Coen Brothers Movie Breaks Out in Rural Minnesota

Pareene · 11/04/08 09:33AM

Headline: "Andover man shot with crossbow, beaten with bat, run over, burned." Subhead: "Gruesome details and accusations of embezzlement are laid out as two siblings are charged with killing their brother. Also charged was the girlfriend of one of the siblings." Opening scene:

Obama's Grandmother Dies

Pareene · 11/03/08 05:39PM

Barack Obama's grandmother, Madelyn Dunham, died today of cancer. Dunham, 85, largely raised Obama, from the age of 10 on, while his mother worked in Indonesia. She's a huge figure in his book, in his speeches, and in his campaign—the campaign he suspended to visit her just last week. Obama issued a statement with his sister, Maya Soetoro-Ng:

Fred Baron

Pareene · 10/31/08 11:59AM

Fred Baron, the attorney who rebuilt the Texas Democratic party and became famous, late in life, for his unfortunate help in covering up the extramarital affair of former Senator John Edwards, died Thursday of cancer. He was 61. Baron made a fortune in asbestos litigation, and used the funds to found the Texas Democratic Trust in 2005, among countless other philanthropic causes. In the Edwards affair, Baron was revealed as the source of the supposed "hush money" keeping mistress Rielle Hunter living in relative luxury. Baron fought corporations to the end, demanding that a pharmaceutical company allow him to use an experimental drug in his treatment. He won, but it didn't work. He won, but it didn't work. He is survived by his son Andrew, founder of the dumb internet video program Rocketboom. Andrew organized a movement to get his father the drug, enlisting Bill Clinton, Lance Armstrong, and John Kerry to help. [DallasNews]

Zombie JFK Urges Green Revolution

Hamilton Nolan · 10/29/08 01:23PM

Advertising agencies of the world, I send you this request with the greatest urgency: Please stop reanimating dead people to be in your ads. We've seen Fred Astaire selling vacuums, John Wayne selling beer, and scary Orville Redenbacher selling his popcorn from beyond the grave. It's got to stop, because who knows what terrifying undead army is massing against us on The Other Side to take revenge for the commercialization of their legacies? Now the very dead John F. Kennedy, looking like some sort of monster out of DOOM, has taken to the airwaves to harangue the public on behalf of Greenpeace, his long-decayed vocal chords screeching out a chilling simulacrum of his Massachusetts twang. Watch environmentalists flirting with the undertaker, after the jump:

Major Gossip Girl Character To Perish

Richard Lawson · 10/15/08 12:46PM

Happy Wednesday, the world is over. Someone, a "major character," will soon be kicking the bucket on be-Missoni'd teen soap Gossip Girl. So says the internet, at least! But who will it be, and how, and why? I guess we'll have to worry ourselves into anxious little balls of cigarette smoke and sadness until the funeral episode drops during November sweeps. In the meantime, though, we can speculate. Take a stupid hump-day poll after the jump and tell us who you think is going to that big, sprawling, but cheap! for poor people! DUMBO loft in the sky.

Lunch Brought Down 'Sun'!

Pareene · 10/14/08 04:24PM

Hey, the New York Sun is dead. Sad! It was a newspaper, and we all love newspapers. Their editorial stance was despicable, but they had a great sports section. We've been through all this already. No point in dredging up old fights. But! There are still stories about Sun founder and editor Seth Lipsky that are maybe worth your attention. Like did you know he stole everyone's lunch?

'Massive' Layoffs At Niche Media?

Hamilton Nolan · 10/14/08 02:55PM

Yesterday, we started hearing rumors of big layoffs on the way at Niche Media, that stable of glossy, journalism-free socialite-focused city magazines across the country. Today the Philly Daily News confirmed that Philadelphia Style had "much of its editorial and creative staff" laid off yesterday. But that may have been just the beginning; another tipster tells us that there are "massive layoffs" across the company, and "people are getting fired with no notice from editorial on a lot of different magazines — Hamptons, Boston Common, Philadelphia Style, LA Confidential..." Is Niche CEO Jason Binn's company the latest entrant in the Great Magazine Die-Off? If you have more specifics on the cuts, email us. [We're also hearing that the rumored looming layoffs at Viacom could actually be coming next week—stay tuned.]

Every Bad Thing Is Hank Paulson's Fault

Pareene · 10/02/08 03:31PM

Remember the terrible story about the naked mentally ill guy whom the NYPD tasered, causing his death? Yes, well, if you thought that story could not get more awful, you were wrong. The cop who ordered the fatal tasering killed himself this morning. Also, the Times illustrated this story with a photo of Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, and every joke we could make about that fact is probably in terrible taste. [NYT]

William F. Buckley, Asshole Even In Death

Pareene · 10/01/08 10:26AM

Conservative thinkin' guy William F. Buckley left his huge fortune almost entirely to his son, novelist Christopher Buckley. The rest went to Chris Buckley's two children with his wife. None of it went to Chris Buckley's third child, who he fathered with his former publicist. That child, 7-year-old Johnathan, suffers from ADHD. Buckley pays $3k a month to the mother, Irina Woelfle. Woelfle would maybe like that amount raised a bit, because now Chris Buckley has like tens of millions of dollars! But rascally old William F. Buckley made sure, on his death bed, to deny this illegitimate grandchild a dime of his fortune. He called him out by name in the will!

Today in Campaign Detritus

Pareene · 09/30/08 03:59PM

Vice Presidential debate moderator Gwen Ifill broke her ankle last night, TVNewser learned. She says she tripped, at home, by herself, down the stairs. Suspicious! Especially because CBS keeps slowly leaking more clips of Sarah Palin babbling nonsense while Katie just stares coldly (but warmly! it's weird) (see attached). Meanwhile, the AP says John McCain has a 1 in 4 chance of dying before the end of his second term (or, to put it another way, "McCain has a health expectancy of 8.4 years). They asked some actuaries. This went out on the wires to everyone, it will probably upset the GOP. Now you are informed about the newest in useless minutia.

Friends and Family Remember Paul Newman

ian spiegelman · 09/27/08 02:04PM

Although celebrities usually keep their thoughts and feelings private in the immediate wake of a loved one's passing, Paul Newman's friends recognize that his death is a loss to the whole world. So they're sharing their sadness and their memories as we all mourn Newman's death and celebrate his life and work. "There is a point where feelings go beyond words," says Robert Redford, who co-starred beside Newman in The Sting and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. "I have lost a real friend. My life—and this country—is better for his being in it." "Paul Newman played many unforgettable roles. But the ones for which he was proudest never had top billing on the marquee. Devoted husband. Loving father. Adoring grandfather. Dedicated philanthropist... Always and to the end, Dad was incredibly grateful for his good fortune. In his own words: 'It's been a privilege to be here.' He will be profoundly missed by those whose lives he touched, but he leaves us with extraordinary inspiration to draw upon. During this difficult time, we ask for privacy for our family." — Statement from Newman's and Joanne Woodward's three daughters Elinor, Melissa and Claire. "I was blessed to have known him. The world is better because of him. Sometimes God makes perfect people and Paul Newman was one of them." - Sally Field, Newman's costar in Absence of Malice. "Paul was a very fine actor and a really good race driver. But mostly, he personified humanity—always taking care of those who were less fortunate. For me, this will be his legacy." - David Letterman "He set the bar too high for the rest of us. Not just actors, but all of us." - George Clooney "He was my hero." - Julia Roberts "Paul Newman was the ultimate cool guy who men wanted to be like and women adored. He was an American icon, a brilliant actor, a Renaissance man and a generous but modest philanthropist. He entertained millions in some of Hollywood's most memorable roles ever, and he brightened the lives of many more, especially seriously ill children, through his charitable works. Paul was one of a kind. The beloved film star will be missed by a world of fans and admirers. Maria and I send our thoughts and prayers to his wife, Joanne Woodward, his entire family and his many friends." - Arnold Schwarzenegger "He was a master of his craft—an artist respected and emulated by his peers and beloved by movie fans around the world." - Dan Glickman, chairman of the Motion Picture Association of America "Paul was an American icon, philanthropist and champion for children. We will miss our dear friend, whose continued support always meant the world to us. Our prayers and thoughts are with Joanne and the Newman family and the many people who Paul impacted through his endless kindness and generosity." - Bill and Hilary Clinton "All who knew him, worked with him and who have been touched by his kindness and generosity are extremely fortunate. It was Paul's dream that the camps continue to thrive and provide laughter to children who need it most, and we will keep that dream alive." - Statement from the Association of Hole in the Wall Camps, which Newman founded in 1988 for children with serious medical needs. [ETonline and Eonline]

NYPD Kills Dangerous Naked Guy

Pareene · 09/25/08 09:46AM

"COPS IN NUDE TASER SLAY", right? That is the headline of the day! Until you, you know, read the story. And it's about the NYPD killing a mentally ill dude with some tasers. He was armed with a fluorescent light and his nakedness, so he was tasered, and he fell from the second-floor awning he was standing on and landed, face-first, on the street, and was sent to a hospital, where he died. "'This is very out of character,' said the building's superintendent, Charlene Gayle, 31." He meant out of character for the dead, naked guy. Not for the NYPD! There is a video of some of this attached because we're ghouls.

Overdose Suspected In Former CNN Producer's Death

Hamilton Nolan · 09/18/08 10:33AM

Julie Lankamp, a former producer for CNN, was found dead in her Manhattan apartment last night. Her two-year-old daughter was also found in the home, crying over her mom's body. The Post says Lankamp likely died of a cocaine overdose; the Daily News says foul play hasn't been ruled out. Lankamp left CNN ten years ago, and most recently founded Media Melons, a media production company. She also advertised her "sexy and alluring deep voice" for voiceover work.

A City Without A Paper

Hamilton Nolan · 09/17/08 11:00AM

The Newark Star-Ledger is in serious danger of going out of business, as we mentioned earlier. Its publisher yesterday threatened bluntly to close the paper on January 5 unless it gets major concessions from its drivers' union. Even if the threat is a negotiating tactic, it also reflects economic reality. Everyone knows the business is rough, but wow: are we about to see the first major American city without a newspaper? This would be historic. And not in the good way. As the industry has declined during this decade, almost every newspaper has suffered economically. Layoffs have become ubiquitous. Foreign bureaus have been shuttered across the board as a matter of policy. Large metro papers, which dominate major cities but lack a national readership, have suffered the worst. Many (if not most) of them have pulled their correspondents from Washington and brought them home, to save money and cover local news, which is believed to be the wisest area of investment. The glory days are over. Salaries are down. Older, more expensive reporters and editors are urged to take buyouts. It's harder for aspiring journalists to get first jobs, or even internships. Papers have changed physically. Their pages have shrunk. Their page count has come down. Sections which once stood alone have been combined, all to save printing and newsprint costs. Two-paper towns are becoming a rarity. Chicago, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Detroit, and, of course, New York all support at least two sizable papers. But some of them shouldn't. Particularly in smaller or declining markets, it's a war of attrition to see which paper can hang on the longest. The idea that two editorial viewpoints are a necessity in most cities has been rendered anachronistic by the internet. Recent buyers of newspapers or newspaper companies have been disappointed. Brian Tierney, an ad wizard, has been unable to restore the Philadelphia papers to their former glory. Sam Zell is being sued by his own employees for the Tribune company's declining prospects. McClatchy wishes it had never bought Knight Ridder. What we haven't seen in all this, though, is a major American city with no newspaper. Everyone believes that a paper is an essential part of a city's fabric, like city hall and the jail and the local sports team. If Newark—a town with more problems than most—is left without a paper, who will tell the world what's going on there? Who will tell Newark what its own government is up to? Even bloggers should be humble enough to pray that the Star-Ledger isn't the first in a long line of papers that disappear and leave people with no forum for the local bickering, minutiae, and moments of glory that are the real American civics lesson. Print may be dead. But it shouldn't die before something better is in place.

Tweeting Towards Bethlehem

Pareene · 09/11/08 09:22AM

Did you see the cute Times Thursgay Styles story on the 7-month-old with the extensive online presence thanks to his terrible parents? You know, on some sort of "Facebook for children," full of idiot parents attributing adult characteristics to their babies, who are still dumber than chimps? We found a story that is the opposite of that trend piece, except in that it exceeds it in awfulness: The Rocky Mountain News in lovely Denver live-blogged the funeral of a 3-year-old murder victim, on Twitter. Top entry: "family members shovel earth into grave—about 21 hours ago from txt." Some things, guys, were not meant for microblogging. Can you imagine if there'd been Twitter on this day in 2001? Ha, you probably don't even have to imagine, there is surely some funny internet comedy site creating that little parody right now. [Colorado Independent]

Dexter Filkins' War Story

Hamilton Nolan · 08/24/08 03:11PM

Dexter Filkins spent four years covering the Iraq War for the New York Times. Today, the paper's magazine has an excerpt of his upcoming book, The Forever War. Filkins is a beautiful writer, which only serves to enhance the enormous sadness of his story. The piece pulses not with political outrage, but with weariness over a steady diet of death. After the jump, one small excerpt: Filkins tells how his desire for a photo of a dead insurgent ended with a Marine shot and killed:

Why Did Everyone Prematurely Report Congresswoman's Death?

Pareene · 08/21/08 05:00PM

So. Yesterday, Representative Stephanie Tubbs Jones died. And just about every news outlet you can think of reported as much. Fine so far, right? Except that when they all reported it, she wasn't dead. And then once everyone corrected, she died, for real. It was all pretty macabre. CJR tries to explain the whole weird incident with another criticism of media practices-anonymous sources and me-tooism or something. What no one (we think?) has pointed out is that the news probably came from her own staff ("Based on information from a reliable Democratic source and stories from other news outlets..."). Which is a pretty unimpeachable source! Until it turned out that they were wrong about their own boss's death. And then they weren't, a bit later. Awkward. [CJR]

Ted Kennedy's Health News Only to Trashy Tabs

Pareene · 08/13/08 11:50AM

News of the worsening condition of Senator Ted Kennedy-currently suffering from a malignant brain tumor-made the front page of The Globe, one of the trashiest of the trashy tabloids. But in the respectable press, all we hear is that a lavish celebration of Kennedy's life is being prepared for the upcoming Democratic National Convention. The reader is asked to read between the lines and figure out that Kennedy is perhaps near death. Anyone who purchases The Globe, though, is always kept well-informed as to which old famous person is closest to death's door. It's a macabre little niche that they've been allowed to dominate thanks to the squeamishness of the rest of the press in covering celebrity health. Recently, the tabloids have led the MSM in covering the illnesses of Kennedy, Liz Taylor, and Paul Newman-though how reliable their coverage has been is called into question by the continuing survival of all of those people. Then again, when the mainstream press waded into the fray with their alarmist reports of the imminent death of Patrick Swayze, Swayze seemingly underwent a miracle recovery. So the reader is almost completely without reliable information. It does seem newsworthy, in this case, to ask precisely how bad Kennedy's doing. Does he actually have two weeks to live? Wasn't he just recently showing up to work at the Senate? But much as the press only ever hinted at how far gone Reagan or Strom Thurmond were (until they were done with public service), notions of privacy and respect lead editors to gloss over the uncomfortable details. Not so in England, where tabloid media is often indistinguishable from the "real" press. The Daily Mail, Mirror, and Sun all keep running tabs on the mortality of Britain's famous. Decrepitude and mortality sell papers! Who knew? Not American editors, yet.