Fellas. Fellas? Fellas. I know how it is out there on the "battlefield of love" in this modern world, so to speak: the rules have changed. It's hard to keep up with what's "politically correct" these days in the wild and wooly dating arena. Can you compliment a coworker? On her outfit? Or her eyes? Or her ass? Can you touch her ass while doing so? How about her tits? Is she allowed to drive? To vote? What are the "rules?" You'd need a spreadsheet to keep it all straight. Fear not, homeboys (slang for "friends"): here are the new rules of flirting.

A bracing Thought Catalog essay explores the trials and tribulations of dating an older woman. Four years older.

Hollywood Communists John Mayer and Katy Perry were photographed out on the town Wednesday evening, when they should have been in their separate homes rooting for Team USA to win gold in NBC's pre-taped Olympic broadcast.

The North African nation of Mali is in the midst of an uprising by strict conservative Islamist rebels who have captured Timbuktu and locked it down under harsh Sharia law and are running around with guns and making all the women wear veils and chasing off all the Westerners and generally just throwing a wrench into any fun summer bikini party plans that Timbuktuans may have had. This is all very troubling, we grant you, (LIP SERVICE ABOUT 'RIGHTS'). But the New York Times' excellent story yesterday on the situation really buried the scariest penalty of all that the cruel extremists are imposing on the not-even-allowed-to-fuck-casually citizenry:

Oh that John Edwards, that guy, always combing his hair and having babies out of wedlock while his wife is dying of cancer, that jerk. What is his latest outrageous action, that he did, so that we can all get mad at him, once again, the pretty boy? Let's see, here it is, right in the foldy newspaper with all the pictures:

SWF seeks SM.

Candice is a 31-year-old New Yorker. She met a nice lawyer at a bar and agreed to see The Avengers with him. When she arrived for the date, he was wearing a fedora. The date did not go well.

Today Vanity Fair published an excerpt from Washington Post editor David Maraniss' new Barack Obama biography. The selection focuses on Obama's first serious girlfriend, 25-year-old Genevieve Cook, whom he dated when he was 22 and living in New York.

It appears that 50-year-old Guns n' Roses frontman Axl Rose and 25-year-old Lana Del Rey are hanging out together at the same time in the same place. Ipso facto, they are dating. The pair were seen leaving mysterious L.A. laboratory Chateau Marmont before disappearing into the night to discuss all the ways in which drastically different parenting methods have impacted the Baby Boomers versus the Millennials. Or maybe vintage tees.

What delightful tale of sexual deviance does surprisingly kinky advice columnist Dear Prudence have for us today? A woman contemplating dating a stranger she caught sniffing her crotch sweat at the gym? Yes, I think that will do.

Jennifer Coburn is a published author and a full-grown adult. She has a 14 year-old daughter named Katie. Katie just broke up with her boyfriend. How do we know? Because Jennifer Coburn told us all. Thanks, mom.

A new government report says that 38% of American women aged 15-44 have never ever been married, not even once. What is wrong with them? Something. Nobody likes them? Apparently. Anyhow. They're not as hopeless as everyone thinks!

Online dating behemoths Match.com, eHarmony and Spark Networks (which operates JDate and the less buzzword-y ChristianMingle) issued a joint statement Tuesday pledging action to protect users from sexual predators and financial scammers.

Popular online social networking website Facebook boasts a "relationship status" setting, in which Facebook members can indicate whether or not they are "In a Relationship" with another person. This is often considered a formal social indicator that a couple is officially "together." Sound simple? Not for Tara Miller of Westville, New Jersey.

According to one of Kim Kardashian's friends, Kim's publicist has arranged for her to go on a date with Knicks demigod, Jeremy Lin. And while it's probable that there's no truth in this, it's kind of fun to imagine. Think of the Kimsane headlines. The Keeping Up With the KardashiLins reality show spin-offs. So much would stem from this coupling, it's almost too much to take Lin.

Are you a lonely Columbia Journalism School grad whiling away Valentine's Day with thoughts of your persistent crush on your old professor Duy Linh Tu, head of the Digital Media Program and self-proclaimed "Original Multimedia Gangsta?" Cupid is emailing you.

Another year, another wholesome Conservative Political Action Conference. In addition to hearing white rappers drop N-bombs and Ann Coulter talk about how "all real females are conservatives," CPAC attendees were treated to a lesson from pickup artist Juggler. You know, the one who isn't Mystery.

Kids these days: what is up with their love lives? Well, it's complicated.

This just in: According to Blake Lively, Blake Lively has never been on a date, ever.

Now and then, we get forwarded crazy emails that people — most of whom are men involved in the finance industry — send to the people they're dating, or have dated, or want to date. Today: a thesaurus-happy hedge-fund manager accuses a woman he's been on one date with of lying to him and decides he'll teach her the best way to reject someone.