New York State Senator Carl Kruger is proposing a ban on listening to your iPod or talking on a cellphone while crossing the street, citing a rising number of distracted pedestrian accidents. The fine for getting caught would be $100.

There's something to be said about this couple filming an icy street corner from out their window, commenting on the passers-by who slowly but surely will fall victim to a certain slippery spot... Well, we're watching too, aren't we?

Airports in New York and Philadelphia have gone on "high alert" thanks to a "suspicious" (but not explosive) package found on a US-bound UPS flight in the UK last night. Planes have reportedly been inspected in several cities already. [Reuters]

A cyclonic storm is currently bulldozing through the Midwestern US with wind speeds over 100 m.p.h., virtually shutting down the Chicago airport and triggering blizzards in North Dakota and tornado warnings across several states. Worst storm since 1975, they say.

Els Clottemans, a 26 year-old mentally unstable Belgian skydiver, has been sentenced to 30 years for murdering a woman with whom she shared a lover by disabling the woman's parachute. Love triangles in parachute clubs are a dangerous game.

Laptop burns! Pizza frequencies! Drug trial speed! Knife-throwing wonder! Drill-less cavities! Rabies alert! Minorities in science! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—so single-mindedly we scarcely notice the hot item roasting our poor flesh!

Fisher-Price has recalled 7 million plastic tricycles that have a "protruding plastic ignition key near the seat" that can cause, among other things, "genital bleeding." Shudder. Four million other toys and chairs are also being recalled. [AP]

The recent hotel hostage crisis in Brazil's second-largest city has potentially scared off the producers of the fourth Twilight movie, who were to film some scenes nearby. So, uh, good luck, everyone going to the World Cup and the Olympics.

Teabaggers will soon descend on Washington for Glenn Beck's "Restoring Honor" rally, taking place at the site of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "Dream" speech, on its anniversary. What precautions should they take to avoid being murdered in this deadly town?

Dr. Tyrone Hayes is a biologist at UC Berkeley and a longtime critic of atrazine, an herbicide produced by the chemical company Syngenta. He took the bold step of sending lots of taunting, rap-quoting emails to the company. Scandal ensued.

Today in Reasons You're a Terrible Parent: that bouncy castle that you rented for your child's birthday party has probably already caused them irreparable lead poisoning. Sorry.

First, there was the War on Smoking. That got boring. Now, there's the War on Obesity. And everyone is forgetting about smoking altogether! Well, what do you expect, when the obese are out of control?

Wake up, slumbering moviegoers! As you chew your buttery popcorn and enjoy Hollywood's latest "entertainment," The Kids Are All Right, your innocent children are being mentally imprisoned by gays. Sniffing coke and having gay sex, for kids? Andrea Peyser reports!

As sure a sign as any that New York is slowly returning to the recession-plagued madness of the '70s and '80s, Central Park is now full of rabid raccoons. There's an outbreak! 114 new cases this year alone. [NYDN]

Somali pirates have hijacked a ship "carrying a poisonous chemical." [!!!!!]. Don't panic.

It's common knowledge that certain brands of automobiles reveal their drivers to be chicks, or—worse—undercover chicks. Finally, researchers have quantified the most feminine cars. If you drive one, you are a total chick. Looking at you, VW.

"South African woman ruptures throat in vuvuzela contest," reports Agence France-Presse. Before we knew what "vuvuzela" meant, that sentence about a lady in Cape Town would've been funny. [AFP, via]

A rodent expert says "jumpy" subway riders "can fall off platforms when surprised by rats."

Assume the position of enthusiastic worship, New Yorkers—we have a new Subway Hero! An unidentified one, at that. Does he live up the heroism of the original subway hero, and the actor subway hero? Yes he does, very heroic!

Bill Clinton, who is no longer the President, still gets a big old motorcade, which is a good thing, because he needs several extra vehicles around him to fend off the multiple slack-jawed civilians sideswiping him at every turn.