Options author Dan Lyons was Friday's guest author at Stacey's Bookstore in San Francisco's financial district. Several audience members — seemingly unaware that Lyons had written a parody about Steve Jobs — grilled the Forbes editor turned humorist on Apple's lack of corporate philanthropy and the allegedly widening income gap between Jobs and everyone else. When Lyons sputtered that he really didn't know the answers, one attendee snorted, "Aren't you supposed to be a business reporter?" I followed one of Lyons's attackers out of the store to a local Peet's, where she once again spoke truth to power. "It's frightening what they put in the food these days," she informed the barista. "Is this Fair Trade coffee?"

Dan Lyons, the faux Apple CEO blogger, is introduced by the real Steve Wozniak. Check Woz's manic but funny patter about Kathy Griffin, Fake Steve, and Apple.

This weekend, check out manmade ski jumps, old computers, and — in case you're not completely over Fake Steve Jobs — more, more, more Dan Lyons! All in this weekend's Valleywag Calendar.

At yesterday's book signing at Keplers in Menlo Park, Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak penned this inscription on the pages of Dan Lyons's Steve Jobs parody novel, Options: "I like this Steve J. better than the real one." Was he kidding? Maybe. But many a truth is said in jest.

So I'm here at Keplers, the bookstore in Menlo Park, with a bunch of Stevetards waiting for Dan Lyons, the faux Apple CEO who pens The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs and the new book Options, a parody memoir of Steve Jobs. He's here for a book reading, and Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak has taken the podium to introduce him. Woz starts speaking a mile a minute, referencing his on-again, off-again romance with comedienne Kathy Griffin. And then he spins into a weird numerological digression. I'm starting to think this guy is actually kind of nuts. Either that, or Lyons has written this routine for him. And then Wozniak presents him with a genuine Apple turtleneck. It's only getting weirder from here, I fear.

Yes, tonight's the night. Dan Lyons as Fake Steve Jobs is meeting Segway-polo fanatic Real Steve Wozniak for an Options reading at the Menlo Park Keplers at 7:30. This is a party that we just can't miss. Some of us anyway. My boss is too cheap to let me expense a Virgin America flight cross-country. Owen "Mr. Bigglesworth" Thomas will be there, purring away. So will Megan McCarthy, the self-proclaimed "Princess of the Valley." Finally, very special correspondent Paul Boutin (boo-TAHN) will be there with his wife, Christina Noren, whom voters on Dig a Silicon Valley Girl have deemed the prettiest girl in the area. You don't want to miss that! Hit the jump to see what Fake Steve had to say the last time Woz crashed his party.

Marina boys, pretty pictures and Steves real and fake in Menlo Park. All in tonight's Valleywag Calendar.

Options, the parody Steve Jobs novel, has totally surprised those of us who expected a throwaway. It's 248 mostly hilarious pages, with a tight story line and a protagonist who evolves credibly. You can read my enthusiastic review in Wednesday's Wall Street Journal, where it's the business book of the week. But more important is this teaser email from Kepler's Books in Menlo Park, where author Dan Lyons will appear Thursday evening.

After Dan Lyons, the Forbes editor who blogs as Fake Steve Jobs, visited Microsoft's main Redmond campus to talk about his new book, Options, he sat down for an interview with Microsoft's Channel 10. The best part? Fast forward 8:30 to the point where Lyons says, "I'm very excited about the Zune 80," Microsoft's latest music player. He then pretends to realize his gaffe: "People who read my blog are going to be very upset." Of course, any close readers of Fake Steve Jobs will know Lyons, in a classic move, dropped that bit in intentionally to drive the iPod-fanboy commentards on his blog batshit crazy. Dan Lyons invented this kind of thing on The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs. Have you heard of it?

Dan Lyons, the Forbes editor behind the Fake Steve Jobs media empire, has written a new book. Or he might has well have. Have you seen the man's LinkedIn profile? For interests, Lyons lists: "Skiing, rowing, running, chasing my two-year-old twins around the house." He should have added: "going on and on." The monstrosity comes in at 2,000 words. His summary alone hits 121. We wanted Paul Boutin to write a 100-word version, but he's too busy writing his review of Options for the Wall Street Journal on his BlackBerry. So here's my mercifully brief version of Lyons's "Experience" and "Education" fields, which he could use to outline his memoir:

"If you're a CEO and you have time to write a blog, then what the fuck are you doing? Dude, you're supposed to be running a company." — Dan Lyons, the Forbes editor behind Fake Steve Jobs. Dan-O, is that anything like how your bosses at Forbes thought you were supposed to be writing for the magazine? [Wallstrip]

We picked up Dan Lyons's rumor as Fake Steve Jobs that Facebook has cajoled hedge funds into investing another $500 million, and noted that CFO Gideon Yu must never sleep. And Forbes, where Lyons has a day job, also called the deal complete. Not so, people familiar with the matter told the Wall Street Journal. The new investment will only be as much as another $260 million, making the total raised in this round, including Microsoft's money, $500 million. An announcement could come soon, but nothing's been signed yet. We know some VCs wanted in on this deal but hear it got too rich for them. (Photo by spcbrass)

Fatally overserious Read/WriteWeb blogger asks when Forbes editor Dan Lyons's Secret Diary of Steve Jobs became a "reliable source." He points to recent posts Lyons wrote as Fake Steve Jobs about PodTech and Facebook — both of which Valleywag picked up. I think the question is more when anyone at Read/WriteWeb ever had a blog post as funny, informative, and truthful — even when fictional — as Fake Steve.

Robert Scoble, the king of mindless time-wasting afternoon desktop entertainment — at least for me — blogs a denial of senior Forbes staffer Dan Lyons's claim that PodTech, Scoble's employer, is shutting down soon. As Scobleizer correctly fumes, had Lyons posted the rumor for his mag instead of on his semi-fictional blog, he would've been forced to at least call someone at PodTech for a reaction first. Still, Scoble's wrong when he claims I propagated the rumor because I "compete" with him. Robert, you're one of my best free content providers. Don't ever go!

Ever since studly Timesman Brad Stone outed Forbes editor Dan Lyons as Fake Steve Jobs, the author of the faux-Apple CEO Web diary, I've been waiting to see what happens when Lyons meets up with some of the folks he's savaged as the blog's anonymous auteur. I'll get my first chance when Lyons gets interviewed by former Apple evangelist Guy Kawasaki, who's been repeatedly ridiculed by Lyons as Fake Steve. But why would Kawasaki display any hard feelings when he can use the notoriety of a feud to elevate his rapidly sinking profile? Dignity doesn't move units. The interview, sponsored by LinkedIn, takes place November 6 at the Computer History Museum in Mountain View. (Photos by hyku)

Last week I bitched wrote about a delayed order for the new Fake Steve Jobs book, Options, from Amazon.com. An email from the online store told me that the book, out today at a Borders near you, had been rescheduled for a December shipment. I emailed CEO Jeff Bezos with my sob story and got a very apologetic email from Executive Customer Relations. I now know that my "experience with this order has been unordinary and not truly representative of the quality of service we offer." Well, that's a relief. Maybe I'll get free overnight shipping. Until then, I'll have to be happy with excerpts. The full email after the jump.

In his guise as Fake Steve Jobs, Forbes editor Dan Lyons occasionally broke character to ask his readers for help in getting advertising for his site. It turns out that he could have just asked his bosses all along. The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs is now running an ad served by Forbes. The current campaign is for IBM, just a few inches above a post in which Fake Steve Jobs gloats about Apple's market cap passing Big Blue's. And to think — for this treatment, IBM is paying Forbes' staggering $109 CPM? Translation: Every time your Web browser pays homage to Fake Steve, a dime and a penny clink in the Forbes coffers. Congratulations, Dan-O: At last, you've made your sideline career as El Jobso pay off.

Maybe that last encore except from Options: The Secret Life of Steve Jobs, a Parody was one too many. It's early, sure, but the book ranks way down at No. 1,432 on Amazon's bestseller list. Lesson? Fake Steve needs to send Moshe up to Seattle to have a chat with Jeff Bezos. [Amazon.com]

Author Dan Lyons saw our excerpts from Options, his fictional novel as Fake Steve Jobs, and alerted his publisher. A nice young man from Sub Rights (whatever that is) rang my cellphone and, after checking out our posts, had one word: "Awesome." After the jump, a bonus three-fer.