• Giorgio Armani is opening a restaurant inside his new Fifth Avenue flagship later this week. Guess it's time for a little payback, Scott Conant. [Eater]
• The Cedar Tavern on University Place is gone for good. [GS]
• A peak at the new speakeasy-themed bar Raines Law Room. [Eater]
• Anita Lo is closing Bar Q in the West Village. [Eater]
• Dinner at L'Artusi "grinds slowly off a cliff," says Adam Platt, who gives the bar-centric spot on Bleecker a single star in this week's New York. [NYM]
• Inexplicably, the cupcake craze endures. [TFB]
• Daily News food critic Danyelle Freeman has landed a book deal. [GS]
• A hot dog vendor in Times Square is retiring after 41 years. [NYP]
• Starbucks is introducing instant coffee because Americans are "focusing more on seeking satisfying experiences that enhance their lives." Uh, okay. [HP]

When a history of the decline and fall of Wilson Sonsini, Silicon Valley's preeminent law firm, is written, this will surely deserve a paragraph: The lawyers there are now defending cupcakes. Sprinkles Cupcakes, the Los Angeles bakery made notable by HBO's Entourage, is seeking to defend its trademarked dot patterns against imitators; the concentric circles denote flavors. (Shown here: a red velvet cupcake.) It is, I suppose, a question of intellectual property. And a client is a client. But taking on this case just illustrates how far Wilson Sonsini has fallen since the '90s, when IPO fees fattened its partners' wallets, and before it got wrapped up in stock-options scandals. The silver icing: This may lead to work representing Google executive Marissa Mayer, should an interloper ever trespass on the ideas contained in her spreadsheet of cupcake recipes.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall star Jonah Hill's initial baby steps into a regular work out routine were thwarted by a nosy photographer. Hill politely asked if the photographer could leave him alone, seeing as how Hill had successfully finished his first block. Unfortunately for all parties involved, the photographer said no and offered Hill the halfway melted Snickers bar in his SUV. Hill continued on his walk, but the ever-persistent photog asked if Hill wanted to make a run to Crumbs in Beverly Hills, adding in that it would be his treat. Hill sighed and continued on with his power walk, then muttered, "Any other day, I'd be there. But you know, I'm working hard not to be the Artie Lange of the Apatow gang."

Google VP Marissa Mayer likes cupcakes, we learned in Julian Guthrie's profile of her for San Francisco magazine. Mayer likes them so much that the Google exec once created a spreadsheet to maintain a detailed record of the ingredients that go into her favorites. Mayer is not, however, in the cupcake business, she corrects KQED's Michael Krasny in this clip. She's in the cake-sculpting business, thank you very much. Krasny was likely alluding to Mayer's investment in San Francisco art-bakery I Dream of Cake. Mayer, dubbed "Googirl" by San Francisco, is really into frosting: "Vanilla fudge is my favorite. It gives you brain euphoria," she told the magazine.

This photograph of Katherine Heigl was taken after she received word that once again she was the punch line of a joke on gossip site. She then proceeded to eat all the sweets that the craft services table had to offer, including one quickly devoured Hostess cupcake. Reportedly, Heigl phoned her friend and asked why she would be the victim of constant attacks. "I'm a good person. I'm not perfect, but I'm a pretty decent person," Heigl was overheard saying. "Just ask Joshua."

Good morning. Here are some waltzing cupcakes. Creator Matthew used a ruined batch of cupcakes to make this 1019-frame stop-motion delight.

After all the heartache we've already suffered this summer from our vicarious incarceration with Paris Hilton, where our souls died a death from a thousand undignified paper cuts delivered over those draining 23 days, there's nothing left for Nicole Richie, who was just sentenced in connection with her Vicodin-fueled, wrong-way joyride on the 134.

Still waking up slick with nightsweats at the passing of every traffic copter, anticipating that another airborne invasion by local news vultures is at hand, residents of Paris Hilton's neighborhood are preparing for the media Apocalypse that awaits them when the world's most famous political prisoner is released from her unjust imprisonment. Notes Gatecrasher's Ben Widdicombe:

While we appreciate the City Bakery's attempt to use Paris Hilton's incarceration to drum up a little buzz (as illustrated in the above photo from Eater LA), they ultimately stand no chance against the more dedicated attention-whores of Mrs. Beasly's in our city's ongoing Cupcake Wars. Sticking nail files in some spice cakes and putting up a sign is definitely cute, but demonstrates that the Brentwood outfit lacks the dedication of rivals who have proven they're willing to fellate swarming news crews for coverage or slaughter a disloyal A-lister. Until they accost Rick and Kathy on one of their well-publicized visits to their jailed daughter and demand they deliver their "Visitation Cakes" in front of dozens of cameras, we have no choice but to dismiss them as lazy dilettantes lacking in killer instinct.

With the media gathered at the orgy developing outside Paris Hilton's house greedily filling each quivering news-hole in the aftermath of the heiress's unexpected release from lock-up, we salute the LAT for uncovering an orifice that had yet to be penetrated. In detailing the chaotic scene at the Kings Road Regional Detention Facility, the Times brings word of which of the area's warring cupcake factions was first to the scene with snack; unsurprisingly, the treat-pushing attention-whores from Mrs. Beasley's arrived with the cameras:

Earlier this week, someone e-mailed to suggest that we post examples of the "fake," publicist-supplied celebrity sightings that we try to filter out so that they don't render our cherished PrivacyWatch feature even more hopelessly tainted by PR shenanigans than it probably already is. Because we like nothing better than to make our loyal readers' tragically unambitious dreams come true, here's one from just a few hours ago that's obviously not trying too hard (if at all) to fool us: