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Still waking up slick with nightsweats at the passing of every traffic copter, anticipating that another airborne invasion by local news vultures is at hand, residents of Paris Hilton's neighborhood are preparing for the media Apocalypse that awaits them when the world's most famous political prisoner is released from her unjust imprisonment. Notes Gatecrasher's Ben Widdicombe:

A spokeswoman for L.A. City Councilman Jack Weiss told us yesterday that his office had received more than 50 complaints from residents during her brief respite from captivity.

"Most concerned noise from the five helicopters that handled the live coverage of her one day at home," said the rep. "Other issues involved overcrowding and space issues, because the street is very narrow, doesn't have sidewalks and has no parking."

The LAPD, Department of Transportation and Department of Street Services are bracing for her expected return next week. "There are no plans to force her out of her home," says the spokeswoman, "but action is being taken to minimize the annoyance of other occupants."

Sensing that his impotent response to the previous Hilton crisis alienated the constituents he's sworn to protect, West Hollywood Mayor Pro Tem Jeffrey Prang will soon announce his plans to supplement the LAPD's crowd-control efforts, promising to dispatch WeHo's elite, if little used, SWAT team to manage the situation. They'll be under strict orders to bring down with a hail of rubber bullets any interloper attempting to deliver a "Welcome Home, Paris" basket of cupcakes, a strategy that should help to crush any street-clogging, baked-goods-related insurgency near Hilton's compound.