In coincidence of perfect timing, UK's Channel 4 aired a porn exposé last night, in which three hardcore enthusiasts met the adult performers of their dreams. These soon-to-be-former porn fans were also treated to a live porn shoot, which left them traumatized.

On last night's episode of Watch What Happens Live, actress Jennifer Tilly repeatedly propositioned Andy Cohen, imitated her one-time co-star Gina Gershon's turn in House of Versace, showed off her poker face (it involves non-quivering bosoms), and said everything in her squeaky Godzilla voice, with which she seems to consume all of the oxygen in the room in one gulp and burp it out simultaneously. In other words, Jennifer Tilly was Jennifer Tilly.

Billboard reports that the Roseland Ballroom, a legendary New York City venue that's history dates back to 1919, will be closing in April 2014. [Image from 2008 via AP]

Here is an incomplete, 30-second history of Eminem's homophobia and its apparent evolution: On 2000's The Marshall Mathers LP's "Criminal," he rapped, "Hate fags? The answer's yes." In 2001, he shared the stage with one of those fags, Elton John, for a rendition of "Stan" at the Grammys. In 2010, Anderson Cooper asked him if he disliked gay people, and he said, "No, I don't have any problem with nobody. You know what I mean? I'm just like whatever." In 2012, he showed his support for marriage equality by telling The New York Times Magazine, "I think if two people love each other, then what the hell? I think that everyone should have the chance to be equally miserable, if they want."

Rapping. The woman who wrote "Jolene," "I Will Always Love You," several dead-baby jams in the early part of her career, and the rhythm of "9 to 5" on her nails, is turning a new musical corner and rapping. In a white afro. On the talk show of a woman who was once among the greatest rappers of her time.

After Steve McQueen’s 12 Years a Slave made its Toronto Film Festival debut last month, Vulture's Kyle Buchanan proclaimed, in a headline accompanying a gushing review, “Your Best Picture Winner Will Be 12 Years a Slave." I read that and wondered why a writer would set expectations so high for something he loved (beyond the click-bait potential of such grand pronouncements).

On Tuesday, a ferocious vandal urinated on Banksy's flower-bursting Twin Towers stencil, as a cluster of awestruck humans watched. The culprit's name is Freddi, he's an eight-year-old pug, and his caretaker is Elisa Casas, a lifelong New Yorker who was also cast on the Sundance Channel reality show Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys.

The second in Stephen Fry's gay-centric, two-part Out There documentary series aired last night in England. (The first, which featured Fry frying an ex-gay therapist, aired earlier this week.) In Part 2, we finally saw the results of Fry's publicized March meeting with Vitaly Milonov, the man commonly credited as the writer of the anti-"gay propaganda" law that's played a major role in Russia's current wave of gay oppression. Fry didn't hold back this time and was, in fact, much less polite than when he met with the ex-gay quack.

Professional sad man Morrissey had a memoir in the works, but then he didn't, but then he did, and today the British contrarian's self-portrayal was finally released in Europe. Weighing more than a pound, the 480-pager is an instant classic—that is, according to Penguin Classics, an imprint historically reserved for educational materials like Little Women and cornerstones of civilizations like the Iliad, which added Morrissey's Autobiography to its illustrious ranks by publishing this thick doorstop. Naturally, arbiters of literary standards are miffed. As if it matters.

"Who discovered America?" "Obama."

Earlier this year, Brooklyn resident LeRoy McCarthy started an online petition to name a local street corner after Biggie Smalls, specifically an intersection near the late rapper's childhood home. The petition gained enough strength to be brought before a community board hearing yesterday and DNA Info reports that the board members weren't so keen on dedicating part of their neighborhood to the man responsible for "Ten Crack Commandments." In fact, they complained that Biggie was too criminal, too misogynistic, and, weirdly, too physically unfit to deserve the tribute.

That's essentially what one member told the room:

What is the secret to unlocking your personal potential and creating a more harmonious society? A San Francisco company says you can find it between every woman's legs. Gawker's Nitasha Tiku investigates, step by step.

Prepare yourself for a needless barrage of cranky old-person opinions! Today, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame announced 16 nominees for 2014 induction, a list that includes Nirvana, the Replacements, Linda Ronstadt, Hall & Oates, N.W.A., Peter Gabriel, and a guy from NCIS: Los Angeles.

If you've been hungry for a retelling of the racism controversy that chewed through Paula Deen's career this summer and rendered her a blubbering train wreck, check out the above clip from her E! True Hollywood Story, which aired last night. Though Deen did not sit down with E! for an exclusive interview, her sons Jamie and Bobby Deen and husband, Michael Groover, did, which may explain why the show went so easy on her.

Last night, Logo aired a documentary on the by now well-examined phenomenon of grown male fans of the show My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. The most interesting parts of the one-hour doc What?! Bronies were those focused on the flack bronies receive for their interest in a cartoon targeted at young girls. One guy had his car vandalized and experienced homophobic slurs for putting custom-made My Little Pony decals in its windows. Another military brony described his inability to come out of the brony closet to his fellow servicemen (don't ask don't tell lives). We also watched a pair of fathers discuss their initial unease with their sons' Pony fandom. The parallels to mistreatment of gays were overt (hello, this was on Logo). The mere suggestion that a man take interest in something perceived as feminine is still enough to rub plenty of people the wrong way.

Sassy-television-detective-turned-action-hero Bruce Willis just hosted Saturday Night Live for the first time since 1989, with musical guest Katy Perry. One of the episode's highlights was this amusing digital short about the secret manly society of boy dance parties, a stress-relieving breakdown of herky-jerky man-cave moves that're "not homoerotic, just a call for brotherly unity." This is a rare instance where a twerking joke still really works.

On Wednesday night, Danzig headlined the Cuban Club in Ybor City, Florida. During the opening of doom-rock ballad "Blood and Tears," the eponymous gloom-metal god noticed someone in the audience recording the performance and demanded, "Somebody punch that fucking asshole right there."

"Getting through this injury has been the toughest experience of my life...It's a huge deal, it should have taken eight months [to recover] and even my doctors can't believe it." - Mariah Carey, medical miracle

Holy hell, this is harrowing. This past weekend, Delorean, an electronic-pop act from Barcelona, performed at the Mexican installment of the Mutek Festival and on Monday morning, they were still at their Mexico City hotel when an emergency call came in, urging them to vacate the premises due to a shootout. They complied—and were taken hostage.

You may have read about Katie (19) and Arin (17) last year, when the fascinating story of their romance went viral. They are both transgender (Katie's male-to-female, Arin's female-to-male) and they met in a transgender equality group meeting. Though their backstory, both separately and together is unique, their present relationship appears to be conventional (they are, after all, a man and a woman in love).