• Bush's Brain, the 2004 documentary on the eponymous Karl Rove, screens at the Pioneer Room. It's a lot less cathartic now that the White House is soiling itself so regularly, but the opportunity for heckling is still there. [flavorpill]
• Samantha Hunt reads from The Seas, her novel about a 19-year-old girl who believes she's a mermaid and can bring inanimate objects to life. That's totally what we were doing at 19, too. [Paper]
• Wolfmother peforms tonight at the Mercury Lounge. Teenwolf opens. [Upcoming]

Friday:
• Guerra de la Paz, the collaborative team of Cuban artists Alain Guerra and Neraldo de la Paz, makes its NYC debut tonight at Jack the Pelican. The exhibit features a number of startling images, including a headless Pieta that sent us searching for the nearest toilet. [Jack the Pelican Presents]
• Continuing with the startling image trend, the first scene of Battle in Heaven,, a film from Mexican director Carlos Reygadas, portrays a "wealthy family's daughter giving her much older chauffer fellatio." Startling for some, average for the UES. [flavorpill]
Saturday:
• For those of you yearning for junior high sleepovers, or for those of you who weren't popular enough in junior high to get invited and thus looking to recreate the magic, PILLOW FIGHT! Negligees optional. [NMS]
• Their show at Webster Hall may be sold out, but the Morning After Girls offer a late-night set at the R&R after-party. Hop on board before they start DJing at Misshapes. R&R, 416 W. 14th St, Midnight.
Sunday:
• The Knitting Factory hosts "sonic travelers" David Pajo and Tara Jane O'Neil. It may sound like a Star Trek reference, but they make music. Really. [flavorpill]

•The Autumn Defense, a Wilco spin-off of sorts, performs tonight for free. It's like taking candy from a baby. Or a moderately mainstream and wealthy indie band. [flavorpill]
• East Coast/West Coast, the Hipster Edition: the LA-based, barely legal girls of The Like perform for their New York counterparts tonight at the Knitting Factory. [Upcoming]
• Legendary author Erica Jong takes the stage tonight at the 92Y, where she'll be interviewed by her daughter, Molly. Finger-pointing and tears of resentment TK! [Paper]

The latest edition of Hollywood Momentum, the trade paper of the people who circle the important trade paper stories for their bosses, features a fine return to form for its Screamers section, where aggrieved assistants anonymously chronicle their tales of abuse. (And too frequently, the triumphant moment where they give their insensitive overlords the what-for, thereby earning their grudging respect. The Hollywood underclass thrives on tears, not hugging and learning!) Let the sympathetic, primal yawps of the exploited begin:

• Douglas Boatwright's work examines "ideas of perception, experience, and learned social acumen," and is also "interested in the effects of media contagion and the seductive qualities of light and aesthetics." Please go check him out on our behalf and tell us what the fuck that all means. [flavorpill]
• The theme of Mortified NYC is "personal redemption through public humiliation," meaning the performers will bare their souls in the hopes of meager applause. Funny, sounds like just another date night to us. [Paper]
• The Film Comment Selects festival kicks off with screenings of Ce Jour-l , Everlasting Regret, Stranded in Canton and Battle in Heaven. It's at Lincoln Center, but you can almost smell the condescension from here. [FSLC]

• Cupid-free fun: Thomas Erben features the art of Nicola Durvasula, Chitra Ganesh, and Tejal Shah, three women whose work shares the influence of Indian pop culture. Hallmark wishes it could be half as global. [flavorpill]
• On the other end of the lovey-dovey spectrum, Fat Baby hosts the Nouveau Valentine's Day Party, complete with free jello shots. Nothing says I love you like jiggling alcohol. [Nouveau]
• For those who are looking to let the holiday pass with a bit of dignity, Makor screens The Princess Bride. Did we say dignity? Sorry, didn't mean that. [Paper]

• Margaret Atwood and Valerie Martin offer Hallmark their own interpretation of love tonight at the 92nd Street Y. Our understanding is that it will involve fewer candy hearts and more "gothic horror." Of course. [flavorpill]
• Saint Etienne performs at Irving Plaza, but you really just care about the after-party at Joe's Pub. [Paper]
• Aziz Ansari, Paul Scheer, Ron Huebel and Jason Woliner comprise the beast known as Human Giant. They're screening their shorts at Mo Pitkins tonight, along with other bits of comedic goodness. [WUNY]

Friday:
• Feist brings sincerity and talent to her show tonight at Webster Hall — two qualities the scene doesn't see too much. Mates of State and Jason Collet also perform. [flavorpill]
• Photobloggers take over the Apple Store at 6:30. Go and be prepared to see your face on Flickr. [NYC Photobloggers]
Saturday:
• The New School hosts the NYC Grassroots Media conference, teaching starry-eyed youths the values of self-aggrandization and ass-kissing. Welcome to the big city, kids. [flavorpill]
• Starlet meets Star Wars: The Drones play at Southpaw. Costumes optional but discouraged. [Upcoming]
Sunday:
• Everyone knows that French film is the quickest way to restore your self-esteem after a weekend of public vomiting. Reclaim your elitism and dignity by heading to MoMA for afternoon showings of Godard's bout de souffle and Sentier's Le Jardinier. [flavorpill]

Are you a hacky director who's curious about a side-career as a transvestite street walker working the Santa Monica Boulevard beat, but not sure that the life is for you? With the online Let's Go Cruising with Lee Tamahori simulator, weary fauxteurs ready for a different kind of Hollywood whoredom can outfit newly minted cross-dressing icon Lee Tamahori in a variety of wigs, corsets, and garter sets; think of it as dipping a toe in the chilly water of gender-bending sexual entrepreneurship before sheepishly buying a bustier from Trashy Lingerie "for your girlfriend" and hitting the streets for real.

• Trippy Icelandic rockers (and we use that term loosely) Sigur R s team with string quartet Amina at Madison Square Garden. They'll bring the warbled beauty, you bring the drugs. [flavorpill]
• Chicago improv group Baby Wants Candy will impress even your most Sondheim-obsessed friends by performing a completely improvised, one-hour musical. And you thought you pulled impressive things out of your ass? [UCB]
• Maybe you wouldn't still be single if you knew how to chew with your mouth closed. Improve your table manners with Mark Teague, who reads from How Do Dinosaurs Eat Their Food? Apparently T-Rex didn't know his salad forks. [Paper]

• Gothamist celebrates its third birthday while presenting their sixth musical showcase at the Knitting Factory, featuring Burnside Project, Metal Hearts, and Slowlands. Three years old, eh? It seems like just yesterday that Jake Dobkin was just a wee lad, dreaming a big, bloggy dream... [Gothamist]
• All the fun of Haight-Ashbury, but only half the drugs: Elevator Repair Service presents No Great Society, a perfomance piece inspired by the beat writers and their trippy ways. [flavorpill]
• Author Jonathan Lethem gives a reading of hand-picked short stories tonight at Symphony Space. Why use your own stuff when you can get attention reading someone else's? [Upcoming]

• Former Paris Review hottie Brigid Hughes reads from the debut issue of her my-way-or-the-highway literary magazine A Public Space. John Haskell and Claudia Gonson make cameos. [flavorpill]
• Continuing with the theme of "couldn't get it published anywhere else," Jon Friedman hosts The Rejection Show, a comedy hour featuring material rejected from other arenas. One man's trash is another man's polite laughter. [Upcoming]
• Matt Pond PA brings his lush, depressing rock to the Bowery Ballroom. California act dios (malos) open, providing just enough jangly pop to make sure you don't kill yourself. [Oh My Rockness]

• Death metal is apparently still a viable form of music, or so Nile tries to prove tonight with Hypocrisy and Soilent Green (which is made of people). [flavorpill]
• Koren Zailckas gives a reading of her bestseller Smashed, which discusses binge drinking and emotional instability among women in college. As if those things were restricted to college. [Paper]
• Today is the final day of the Pixar exhibit at MoMA, meaning it's your last chance to watch Toy Story 2 and still be considered "cultured." [Upcoming]

We recently received an e-mail plea from a New Line staffer begging us to solicit support for beloved local Robertson Blvd. food cart vendor "Antonio the hot dog guy," whom the owner of a newly opened accessories store called Surly Girl is attempting to displace. Knowing every story has two sides, and being fans in equal measure of both fiery sausage and Swarovski-crystal-encrusted calculators alike (see their online catalog: "Very, very trendy and cool purses!" says Ryan Seacrest we shit you not), we stayed safely out of the matter. Today, Page Six stokes the flames:

Friday
• Muxima, the latest film by Chilean Alfredo Jaar, illustrates "tumultuous Angolan life, dealing with colonialism, independence, health crises, and civil war." Nothing says weekend like a little colonialism and an epidemic or two. [flavorpill]
• "Does Comedy Really Matter?" features a number of speakers who are not so much peripherally as entirely involved in the world of making people laugh. Not much discussion there, then. [Paper]
Saturday:
• Calla hits Northsix tonight, bringing their "ethereal, droning aesthetic" to a crowd of hipsters who won't be able to tell it from the noise their heater makes. [flavorpill]
• Lou Reed and Hermes don't really fit into the same sentence for us, but nevertheless, here it is: Lou Reed signs his new book of photographs today at the Hermes Gallery. [Paper]
Sunday:
• Apparently there's some big sporting event going on. If that's not your fancy, perhaps two hours of Liza Minelli on Inside the Actor's Studio might do? Or, even better, you could just watch puppies. [CNN]

• Everything beautiful and noble is the result of reason and calculation, or so say Baudelaire and the curators of the eponymous exhibit opening tonight at the Elizabeth Foundation for the Arts Gallery. Watch the wheels turn at tonight's opening from 6-8. [flavorpill]
• The PLUG Awards defy the meaning of "independent" with an awards show honoring the indie crowd. Becuase every celeb, no matter what genre, deserves sycophants and a red carpet. [Upcoming]
• If you're too indie for indie awards, check out The Red Member with Soft Circle, Lexie Mountain, and Sand Cats at the Cake Shop. [flavorpill]

• "Who Gets To Call It Art?" documents the life and work of Henry Geldzahler, art curator and social butterfly. Art imitating life hoarding art. Or something. [flavorpill]
• Sarah Vowell shares her quirky fascination with death tonight at the Barnes & Noble on Astor Place. It's the ability to cutesify necrophilia that really makes a writer. [Upcoming]
• Two Boots Theater screens Groundhog Day in celebration of the third most important holiday in Februrary (fourth, if it's a leap year). Prizes for the best groundhog costume, if you're feeling extra lame. [Paper]

• Columbia and the New Yorker — two bastions of elitism in a world gone to pot — combine their snotty powers to deliver a series of discussions between the magazine's staff and contributors at the university's Miller Theatre. Tonight's chat features Oliver Sacks and neurological disorders (another bastion of any elite). [flavorpill]
• Boggle enthusiasts flock to Rickshaw Dumpling Bar for the hopes of some hot letter-on-letter action after the tourney. [Paper]
• The Big Quiz Thing brings its five rounds of trivia and geek savant Noah Tarnow to the Ars Nova Theater tonight for an extra-special, extra-big quiz night. It's almost worth trekking to Midtown. [BQT]

• Once a month, Channel 102 screens its low-budget shows in front of an audience, who then decides which shows to keep and which to cancel. It's like American Idol, but with less hair gel. [flavorpill]
• Essie Mae Washington-Willams, the daughter of Strom Thurmond and one of his family's African-American maids, discusses her coot of a father at the 92nd Street Y. And unlike the rest of the socially-conscious public, she apparently has something nice to say about him. [Upcoming]
• With appearances by Meryl Streep, Natalie Portman, and Ben Stiller and others, The Public Sings celebrates 50 years of musicals. Yeah, it's a little cheesy, but the Deerhoof show is sold-out. [PublicTheater]

Friday:
• Mika Rottenberg's video Dough follows "an extremely corpulent woman whose allergic reaction to daisies helps a viscous outpouring of dough to rise." Fine, but some people have been wise to the leavened bread thing for a few thousand years now. [flavorpill]
• Lisa Loeb and the Nine Stories play tonight at the Canal Room. Upside? You're guaranteed a Cody Franchetti-free evening. Downside? The glasses. [Upcoming]
Saturday:
• The Idiotarod '06 involves five-person teams navigating a shopping-cart from Brooklyn to Manhattan in whatever manner — bridge, tunnel, drunk, or sober — they please. Aside from the free after-party at Tonic, it's just another Saturday. [flavorpill]
• Field Music plays at the Mercury Lounge. Elevator music plays in the lobby. [Upcoming]
Sunday:
• Bernard-Henri L vy invades the 92nd Street Y to discuss how Europeans view Americans. You already know the answer, though: from a long way away, with a scowl. [Upcoming]