Apparently upset about the price of a pair of shades in a Chelsea boutique, a man yesterday brandished a knife and stabbed the store manager. He stabbed more people outside before being subdued by a Salsa DJ and his crew.

The infamous Southern California booby trapping drug dealer, Nicholas John Smit, has been arrested and will face charges in court today for allegedly setting deadly traps to kill police officers after he was arrested for growing weed.

On Thursday, Belgian police raided Catholic church offices and the tombs of two cardinals searching for evidence in child sex abuse cases against priests in the country. The Vatican is very upset that some priests were treated like average people.

Belgian police on Thursday raided Catholic church offices in Brussels searching for evidence of child sex abuse by priests. The Vatican called it a "shock," because priests only answer to a Higher Authority. The laws of mortals do not apply.

Bernie Madoff's ex-finance boss Frank DiPascali, former millionaire, was released yesterday on $10 million bail. He plead guilty to fraud and whatnot. More importantly, what the hell is he wearing, nurse shoes? Only Jerry Seinfeld can wear shoes that white.

International playboy, and likely murderer Joran van der Sloot bragged to a Dutch newspaper that women are writing him letters in jail with marriage proposals and asking for his sperm. He also expressed no remorse at Stephany Flores' death.

Former Party of Five star Jeremy London was kidnapped while changing his tire in Palm Springs. Two men held him at gun point, made him do drugs, and then distribute alcohol in a "gang area." He later escaped. Crazy!

US Border Patrol says the 15-year-old Mexican boy they killed has ties to a human trafficking ring.

On Monday, a US Border Patrol agent on a bike shot and killed a 15-year-old Mexican boy for allegedly throwing rocks at him. When FBI agents arrived, Mexican authorities drew their weapons. Updated: Univision has video of the shooting.

Eight officials from Union Carbide were found guilty in the deaths of over 15,000 people from a gas leak in Bhopal, India, in 1984. An estimated 600,000 people were affected. They face two years in jail. [BBC, AP]

Dillon Makuski, a 20-year-old diaper fetishist, was given 30 months probation, 200 hours of community service, and must undergo a psycho-sexual examination for stealing dirty diapers from someone's home. He was arrested with six soiled diapers in his pockets.

Bruce Beresford-Redman, a former producer of Survivor and Pimp My Ride, has left Mexico for his home in California while his wife's murder investigation continues in Cancun. He is still considered to be a suspect in her death. [AP, pic]

For the first time in 40 years Heinz is significantly changing its ketchup recipe, dropping current sodium levels by 15%. And they're being sneaky — no new label, meaning consumers will have to read the back nutrition panel! Blame Mike.

Why can't everyone just be nice? Three men in New Mexico are facing hate charges for bundling a mentally challenged 22-year-old into a car, and then branding a swastika into his arm with a bent and heated wire coathanger.

The embattled CEO of Goldman Sachs had a long day on Capitol Hill yesterday, giving all sorts of non-answers to angry lawmakers and squinting a lot. Afterward, he left a message for his flock of distraught traders: "This is Lloyd..."

By now you've heard the news that investment bank Goldman Sachs is in some hot water with the government. Today, executives from the firm will testify on Capitol Hill. Will there be drama? Here is a quick guide.

The group today released a report, called "Un-Natural Disaster," that says "the demographics of the region are being permanently altered" by failing to rebuild infrastructure, and New Orleans residents have been victims of rampant police brutality. [AP]

Conservative hero James O'Keefe — famous for those undercover pimps and hos ACORN videos — was arrested along with three others for posing as telephone repairmen and trying to bug the phones in Sen. Mary Landrieu's New Orleans office.

Researchers have discovered that teenagers have very acute perceptions of risk. Other researchers have discovered that retail employees are incredibly successful thieves. These researchers should talk to each other!

Ungh. So annoying. There you are, stocking up on countless packages of bologna for the coming winter, and there he is again. You know who we're talkin' about—the guy constantly trying to covertly smell your ass.