A Pennsylvania man who worked as a houseparent at the Milton Hershey School was arrested for a number of sexual offenses this weekend after authorities say he molested an 8-year-old student, PennLive.com reports.

“The recent handcuffing of an inmate without food for 32 hours is part of a troubling pattern of similar mistreatment in the Los Angeles County jails since [last year]... Inspector General Max Huntsman cited three additional incidents in which inmates were allegedly tethered to objects for prolonged periods.”

Two New Jersey high school students have been arrested for animal cruelty after allegedly luring a family of geese into the street, running them over and uploading footage of the crime to Snapchat, NBC New York reports.

JPMorgan Chase will reportedly pay at least $125 million to settle state and federal investigations into illegal debt collection methods. Compared to some of the other stuff they’ve done lately, that’s not bad! Give Jamie Dimon another raise.

A South Carolina couple was arrested on Friday after allegedly making their 14-year-old daughter live in a tent in the woods as punishment for eating a Pop-Tart without permission, the Associated Press reports.

A New York woman was charged with child endangerment on Tuesday after alleged leaving her 4-year-old son tied to a bush unattended while she babysat other children in their building, WCBS-TV reports.

A Florida man who portrayed FSU mascot Chief Osceola from 2004-2007 was stabbed to death last week after a dispute about how to properly season gumbo, the New York Daily News reports.

According to the NYPD, a 69-year-old teacher’s assistant was arrested on Thursday after he was caught “fondling” a 13-year-old girl with Down syndrome at a park in Williamsburg.

A blind Los Angeles man was killed and decapitated last week—and his killer (or killers) took his head with them when their job was finished, cops say.

A New York Orthodox rabbi announced last night that he’s refusing to leave his post—despite his synagogue board’s requests to the contrary in response to the revelation of his habit of taking naked sauna dips with young male congregants in the 1980s and 90s, some of whom were as young as 12 years old.

The NYPD is seeking a man who allegedly “masturbated to completion” on an uptown A train Friday morning while covering his lap with a black baseball cap. Not covering it well enough, apparently, because the woman who reported him says she distinctly saw his penis. She also sent Gothamist this video of the man apparently pleasuring himself on a packed train:

Prominent Crossfit entrepreneur Joshua Newman is being sued by a business partner who alleges that he lied and defrauded investors. Look, if you’re not strong enough to defend your own money without the interference of government “laws,” don’t invest in Crossfit.

A Georgia man was arrested on Saturday for allegedly playing a criminally hilarious practical joke where he surreptitiously added weed killer to a co-worker’s water, the New York Daily News reports.

According to NBC, a 25-year-old New York City man believed to be responsible for recent string of attacks on Asian women was found dead in an Upper East Side elevator shaft Monday, apparently from suicide.

Ever since HBO’s very good investigative pornography show “The Jinx” exploded this past spring, viewers and critics have wondered how much creator Andrew Jarecki’s own digging influenced the active murder investigations in Los Angeles and Westchester, N.Y., into his subject, the sociopathic millionaire Robert Durst. A freedom of information request filed by Gawker suggests the two are intertwined.

Dee Dee Blancharde’s death was announced unceremoniously, on a Facebook page she shared with her daughter Gypsy. “That Bitch is dead!,” reads a post published Sunday, followed by a stomach-turning comment from the same shared account: “I fucken SLASHED THAT FAT PIG AND RAPED HER SWEET INNOCENT DAUGHTER...HER SCREAM WAS SOOOO FUCKEN LOUD LOL.”

Neptune, N.J., police sergeant Phil Seidle shot and killed his ex-wife Tamara Seidle in front of the couple’s seven-year-old daughter in Asbury Park on Tuesday morning, according to police. After a bizarre 30-minute standoff with police, Seidle was arrested on the scene and charged with murder.

According to the Kingsport Times-News, a Tennessee woman and her sex/crime partner were arrested for aggravated assault last week after the couple allegedly attacked a neighbor who reported their noisy boning to police.

Authorities have charged an Oregon man with using a motorized vehicle to harass or molest game after he allegedly accelerated through a group of bald eagles in Dutch Harbor, Alaska, killing two, the Associated Press reports.

A 27-year-old Maryland man is accused of shooting and killing an ice cream truck driver as he sold his frozen treats to gathered children, Reuters reports.