A Florida man who shot three of his neighbors killing two of them has cited the state's infamous Stand Your Ground law in his defense, but with a twist: William T. Woodward insists the "Bush Doctrine" of preventive war gives him the right to murder his neighbors before they murder him.

Of all the liquor stores, in all the towns, in all the world, this robber had to walk into one that employs a 30-year military vet who did four tours in Iraq and worked as a prison guard, a private eye, and a bounty hunter.

This past Sunday, an early morning Kmart crew in Jonesboro, Arkansas came to work, only to find a pair of unfamiliar feet sticking out of a back-room cubby hole. The store manager called the local cops, who discovered the man, Robert Pry, was a retail stowaway who'd passed out in the storage area after huffing 16 cans (!) of air duster.

Commuters with regular routes past Cleveland's Second District police department will see something unusual this week: a middle-aged man standing in front of the department, holding a yellow sign proclaiming himself as an “idiot.”

A pair of teenagers who allegedly tried to pull off a robbery at gunpoint in Charlottesville, Virginia, last week picked the wrong two victims for their mugging. When police arrived at the scene of the attempted robbery last Tuesday night, they found Johnny Calderon Jr. and Gerald Allen bloodied and in the custody of the two unidentified men who they had immediately before been trying to rob. Judging from the condition of Calderon and Allen, their intended victims made it very clear that they were not the kind of people to willingly part with their valuables when faced with the threat of violence.

A man convicted of raping a woman collapsed after being informed that his victim was HIV positive.

Police in Tennessee say a woman severely injured herself last week while attempting to extract a wad of cash she had stolen from her boyfriend and hidden inside her rectum.

Just seven days after an Oklahoma man was sentenced to one year in jail for spying on women from a public park's septic tank, another man was sentenced to three years in prison for watching women from inside the tank of a portable toilet at a Colorado yoga festival.

Free Uber this is not. A Chinese student was fleeced for $4,240 after a taxi driver at O'Hare Airport scammed the University of Illinois student (who spoke little English) by lying to him that there were no more buses heading to Champaign that evening.

Los Angeles police arrested about three dozen alleged members of the Rollin' 30s Harlem Crips (a.k.a. Ice-T's former gang) yesterday on federal and state charges related to gang operations and drug dealing. It was the culmination of an investigation called "Operation Thumbs Down," a reference to a popular Rollin' 30s hand sign: two thumbs up.

You never know when and where the mood might hit. Like, say... a Home Depot! At eight in the morning!

Cory Booker, the attention-loving Democratic mayor of Newark who is currently running for U.S. Senate, has repeatedly claimed he befriended a drug dealer named “T-Bone” when he first moved to Newark in 1995. Up until 2008, he told this story fairly often, wrenching the hearts of interviewers and audiences. But according to Eliana Johnson at National Review, “T-Bone” is almost certainly not a real person. Rutgers University history professor Clement Price, Johnson writes,

It's happened before, but this time a bank not only sent repo men to foreclose on the wrong house — they sent repo men to foreclose on the wrong house in the wrong town.

Last Saturday, a six-year-old boy went for a walk in the city of Linfen, in China's Shanxi provence. Hours later, his parents found him covered in blood, with his eyes missing.

Army Major Nidal Malik Hasan, convicted of murdering 13 people and attempting to murder 32 more at Fort Hood, Texas in 2009, has been sentenced to death by lethal injection.

A Brooklyn man accused of punching a woman in the face and then making off with her cellphone was caught just a short distance form the crime scene because his sagging pants made it impossible for him to run away.

A former high school teacher convicted of raping his 14-year-old student, who would commit suicide three years later, will spend just 30 days in jail. Yellowstone County district judge G. Todd Baugh sentenced Stacey Dean Rambold to 15 years but suspended all but 31 days, in part because Judge Baugh said the 14-year-old victim was “older than her chronological age” and “as much in control of the situation” as Rambold.

Daryl Lane Woods, chairman of Missouri's Main Street Bank and an idiot, has pleaded guilty to using $381K in federal bank bailout funds to buy a condo in Fort Myers, FL, which sucks.

Authorities in Oregon say a homeless man who held up a bank for $1 was just looking for a way to go to jail so he could receive free health care.

In July, Kenneth Enlow was arrested after he was caught spying on a mother and a daughter from inside a public restroom's septic tank in Sand Springs, Oklahoma. Last Thursday, the 54-year-old pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of peeping Tom and was sentenced to one year in jail plus a $5,000 fine.