We're becoming obsessed with the story of the shoot-out on Friday night at the poker game in "unmarked office on the seventh floor of a commercial building at 251 Fifth Avenue, at 28th Street." There isn't much new on the story—but as a former math professor from New Jersey was killed in the poker den, it gave the "North Jersey Media Group"</> the opportunity to write this immortal line: "Those who knew Frank DeSena say the Wayne man had been dealt a good hand in life." URK. [NYT]

Yesterday, real estate agent to the stars, former Ramones manager and ex-wife of Belle and Sebastian muse Seymour Stein was found lying in a pool of blood in her multimillion dollar apartment. The medical examiner has since ruled that she died from "blows to the head and neck." She lived, as the Times writes in a "building, at the corner of 78th Street, [that[ has the security of doormen, elevator operators, and surveillance cameras mounted on the sidewalk canopy and in the lobby." However: "a reporter found an unlocked service door on the side street."

Up at Columbia University, first they came for the blacks but no one said anything, except they totally did say something but Columbia wouldn't give the police their security tapes that may have showed who hung a noose on an African-American professor's door. And now they have come for the Jews! A swastika was found painted on the office door of a Columbia Teachers College psych professor who researches the Holocaust. You know, we've long complained that the students today are politically apathetic and that they should get off their privileged asses and do something. Guess we should have been more specific!

If you were downtown last night at 1 a.m., perhaps you noticed the insane volume of the siren of every emergency vehicle in the city converging on somewhere? Now we know that they were all headed to Union Square, where four people were shot and one was stabbed not long after midnight. The Daily News says 4 to 6 shots fired and hundreds of fleeing people in the park; the Post says 8 shots. No one was killed—but, adding insult to injury, some of the poor shootees were taken to Bellevue Hospital.

"CBS 2 News has learned that Linda Stein, the former manager of the Ramones and 'realtor to the stars,' was found dead, lying in a pool of blood in her multi-million-dollar Fifth Ave. apartment on Manhattans' Upper East Side." [WCBS]

Village Voice reporter Tom Robbins was subpoenaed yesterday over 10-year-old reporting that he brought to light that impacts the prosecution of former FBI agent R. Lindley DeVecchio—in his story, mob mistress Linda Schiro contradicted her already-given testimony. With their star witness in a shambles, now the entire case has gone south—after reviewing the tapes, the Brooklyn D.A. decided they'd rather spend their time pursuing perjury charges. Schiro was the lover of Greg "the Grim Reaper" Scarpa; she has given conflicting information about Scarpa's involvement in three mob murders.

Bernie Kerik—Rudy's ultimate bro, former New York police commish, quickly-withdrawn nominee to head the Department of Homeland Security, baldie, sexer-of-Judith Regan at a free Ground Zero apartment, former Interim Minister of Interior of Iraq (we always forget that one), and all-around mobbed-up creep—is apparently evading more than just taxes. His lawyers are suing him for $200,000 in unpaid legal bills! Soon he will hire super-publicist Ronn Torossian and we can all watch him on Fox even more often.

So magician David Copperfield is under investigation by the FBI for raping a woman in the Bahamas, where he owns a couple islands (one of which has the fountain of youth!). In the last week or so, lots of creepy details about his typical methods of "seduction" have come to light. He or his people would mark the scantily clad girls to come on stage during the show, he'd ask them to meet him backstage, then he'd ask if they like the Bahamas—and who doesn't! So as someone rapidly developing a reputation as an all-around creep who might be a bit rapey, it's time Copperfield got serious. Like by hiring Mike Sitrick! Sitrick, who repped Paris Hilton after the jail thing, has long done great work for sketchy dudes, like supermarket billionaire Ron Burkle and "Girls Gone Wild" king and America's BFF Joe Francis. So Copperfield's in good company!

Paul Addis, the accused arsonist of this year's Burning Man, has been arrested again on arson charges. This time, Addis was caught on the steps of San Francisco's Grace Cathedral carrying small explosives. His next court date, for the Burning Man charges, is on November 13. (Photo by Scott Beale / Laughing Squid) [Laughing Squid]

It's widely-known that each of Facebook's nearly 50 million active users are either procrastinating millennials in their cubicles, college students, or pedophiles. Now, reports indicate a third group has joined Facebook, MySpace and social networks: the Russian mob. "Facebook and MySpace are a goldmine of data for the bad guys," MessageLabs founder and chief security analyst Mark Sunner told Australian outlet, The Age. Sunner goes on to explain that by the bad guys, he means the "shady" Russian Business Network, which is not, as of yet, a News Corp. property. Worried? Contact MessageLabs, which for a small fee, will set you up with a far more secure network, according to MessageLabs. Someone should let the Russians know about this business.

More bad news from our new fave news source, San Antonio's KSAT: "In 1992, Edward Debrow was sentenced to 27 years in prison for killing taxi driver Curtis Edwards. He was 12 years old at the time. Recently, however, an appeals court ordered the punishment phase of the case to be retried, and Debrow will now do even more time. The court decided that Debrow would instead be sentenced to 40 years in prison. [...] 'I hope the kids these days in the community learn from this. You cannot commit a crime and think you're going to get out early by just doing the sentence,' Edwards' brother, Ernest Edwards, said. [KSAT]
Earlier: They Killed Cancer Boy's Pony

The Legal Aid Society exists to help the poor, the downtrodden, and the unfortunate fight for their civil rights and to defend them against unjust charges. So how sad, how hypocritical it was of them not to come to the aid of Peter Barta, the Legal Aid Society lawyer whose only crime was secretly videotaping his female coworkers changing their clothes.

The British government may dirty its hands with regulation of Second Life, as it sees issues like child pornography, identity fraud, money laundering, and copyright infringement as "causes for concern." Linden Lab's hands-off approach to policing its virtual world is only fueling inevitable government involvement. The only problem? As other, less boring metaverses steal Second Life's buzz and users, the bobbies may find that they're working the wrong virtual beat. [Times Online]

In an otherwise charming story about a stolen painting recovered in a trash pile 20 years later, it's kinda hard to escape the mounting evidence that the 'hero' is utterly insane. To wit: Elizabeth Gibson, age unmentioned (though looking like a well-preserved 50?), "self-professed Dumpster diver," found a 38-by-51-inch painting in a pile of trash on the Upper West Side. So she took it home (it had a "strange power") and hung it up. Three years later, she realized it was a FAMOUS STOLEN MASTERPIECE. So, naturally, she built a false wall in her "crammed" apartment and wrapped the painting in old shower curtains.

According to a stunning Post exclusive, the NYPD pretty much operates like last week's wacky Onion story about an "entire precinct made up of loose cannons." They obtained the 2006 annual report by NYPD's Internal Affairs Bureau, and they make the most of the alternatively hilarious and creepy findings. Cops are all stealing from dead people and doing drugs and coercing women into having sex with them.

A cop in southeastern China's Fujian district used Google Earth to arrest a human trafficker. The perp goes by the name Wang "Fatty" Mouhang and is widely believed to be a "snakehead," or a member of a gang involved in smuggling people abroad to get around immigration laws. [GlobalVoicesOnline]

Three Bard students—two freshmen and a sophomore!—were arrested when police found them in possession of "nearly 1 pound of marijuana, half a kilogram of a partially refined but yet-unidentified hallucinogenic drug, hashish, hashish oil and a portable drug-processing lab similar to the kind used to manufacture methamphetamines" just two months into the school year. "If there's any message that comes through from this ... [it's] that we are here to provide an education and a safe and healthy atmosphere for students here at Bard," said a college spokesman. Okay! Either that or: Bard is a school where you can totally brew up a batch of rave drugs. [Daily Freeman]

So the Washington State-based FBI investigation of MAGIC MAN David Copperfield apparently stems from the claim of a Seattle woman that he raped her in the Bahamas. Hope you're all enjoying your Arrested Development jokes now guys! Copperfield bought four Bahamanian Islands last year (would you maybe like to stay on one of them? No?), and then claimed one of them held the Fountain of Youth. "I've discovered a true phenomenon," he said in '06. "You can take dead leaves, they come in contact with the water, they become full of life again.... Bugs or insects that are near death, come in contact with the water, they'll fly away. It's an amazing thing, very, very exciting." Here's a tip from us: when master illusionist David Copperfield invites you to drink from his magic pond, politely refuse. THEN TELL AN ADULT. [Fox]

The FBI dealt a stunning blow to the power of magic late Wednesday night with a bizarre raid of illusionist David Copperfield's Las Vegas house, presumably performed in a frenetic, jump cut-heavy style as a classic rock song played. They made off with $2 million in cash, a hard drive, and his camera's memory stick, as related by E! and a detached Robert DeNiro voiceover. The FBI refuses to say what it's all about, except that it involves "an on-going investigation" that began in Washington (State!). Then the FBI stopped by the MGM-Grand, where Copperfield is scheduled to be in residence for two weeks in November. And Joe Pesci suffered some sort of violent death. Copperfield's vast collection of "perception-deceiving devices" was untouched, thankfully. But yeah, what the hell is this about? Are the feds finally busting up the magic racket? Can they indict Criss Angel? Please? [E! via Yahoo!]

Turns out I wasn't the only person kicked out of the MySpace party last night. A tipster writes in: