After enduring vicious hate attacks by David Letterman, Barack Obama and random Photshop-wielding bloggers, Sarah Palin caught a moment to remind everyone, via Twitter, that tomorrow her email "hacker" stands trial in Tennessee. Remember him? He was so terrible!

Lost in the glee over Bernie Madoff's prison sentence is this: What will become of poor Ruth Madoff? She's stalked by paparazzi; rejected by landlords; and left with a mere $2.5 million. Here, Dear Ruth, is your road to redemption.

Bernie Madoff has just been sentenced to 150 years in prison for running the biggest Ponzi scheme in history. It was the maximum sentence the judge could have given him.

The media needs heroes in these dark days. And what is more heroic than fighting off a Sex Thug, hmm?

Bernie Madoff is about to experience what it's like to have his life's worth taken out from under him. A judge entered a preliminary order today to yank everything he's got, and then some. He's absolutely finished.

Tru Life, a middling rapper signed to Jay-Z's label who loved to beef, has been arrested and charged with murder for the stabbing death of a man in Manhattan after a fight at a club.

"New York Post Stalkerazzi" is one of the most repellent job titles in all the media—until they attach their leech-like suction lips to someone truly deserving. Then they're great. Today in justified stalkings: Ruth Madoff rides the subway!

Giovanni Luciano just got done spending a couple years in jail for running a big credit card scam in Bungalow 8 while impersonating a Dolce and Gabbana heir. Now he's back in New York and acting rather strangely!

The Oscar-winning composer of the sickly sweet "You Light Up My Life" is actually, prosecutors say, a dirty old serial rapist monster. We should have known.

Remember the 2006 classic Justin Timberlake/ Emile Hirsch vehicle Alpha Dog, which captured America's heart? Yes, well. It was based on an actual drug-related murder case. The trial is going on now. The suspect says he's (mostly) innocent!

Perez Hilton now regrets calling Will.I.Am a "fag," even though he got deeply offended this morning at the suggestion he shouldn't have done that. The gossip blogger basically has no idea what he's saying at this point.

Wisconsin is home of the media crazy. A TV anchorwoman in La Crosse traced those harassing emails she was getting—they're coming from inside her co-anchor's house!

The Smoking Gun has tracked down the court files from Real "Cokewhore" of New Jersey Danielle Staub's 1986 federal prosecution for extortion and cocaine possession. She was arrested with six kilos of coke and $16,000 cash in plain view.

Chris Brown has reached a plea deal with prosecutors for beating up Rihanna. It's not what you would call a stiff sentence, considering:

Chris Brown accepted a plea deal in connection with his Rihanna beat-down back in February. In exchange for a plea of felony assault, Brown will serve five years of probation and will have to perform 180 days of community labor. "Brown also was ordered to stay at least 50 yards away from Rihanna—except at industry events, when it's 10 yards—despite a request from Rihanna's lawyer that the pair be allowed in the same place at the same time." [People, AP]

"Craigslist killer" Philip Markoff was arraigned on grand-jury charges that include first-degree murder, robbery and two counts of armed kidnapping. As if Craigslist users needed another reason to feel jumpy.

The Way We Live Now: For the children. Well, for the kids. Well, for the college kids. They're kids, really. They need protection from this cruel, dirty world. And when the colleges go broke? Where will the kids go?

So here's how Perez Hilton's weekend ended: The gossip blogger ended up punched in the face and bleeding outside a Toronto club around 3 a.m., after calling singer Will.I.Am a "gay... fag." So much for a new, nicer Hilton.

If there are two things that define angry sex fiend Post columnist Andrea Peyser, those things are being angry (at people, and things) and liking sexy people (free or not). Today she gets to do both, in one paragraph!

In your scandalous Friday media column: a reporter has an affair with a police chief, another reporter's charged with assaulting an old man, Meredith is the new queen of magazines, and Reader's Digest increases its pap quotient.