Big Trouble in West L.A: Ten Andy Warhol paintings depicting athletes were cat burgled from the house of rich L.A. businessman and art collector Richard Weisman. Involved are a housekeeper/nanny, an anonymous $1M reward, and 70s model Cheryl Tiegs. What?

Los Angeles police have been trying to hunt down the cops who gave TMZ that awful picture of a battered Rihanna — and they may have just caught them.

People have viewed more than 500,000 times Yazdani's 2007 daredevil stunt, in which he spray paints an LA freeway overpass from a narrow ledge. The viewers included sheriff's transit investigators, who nailed Yazdani for 32 felony vandalism counts out of hundreds in which they came to suspect him, according to the LA Times. He originally got off with time served, probation and graffiti removal duty, but he violated his probation this summer with more tagging, so now he's been sentenced to three years and eight months in prison, thanks to his YouTube-enabled criminal record.

On the night of Barack Obama's election, a group of young idiots in "a makeshift clubhouse" in Staten Island decided to go out and beat up some black people. They tried hard. But they made the following mistakes:

YouTube-loving graffiti artist Cyrus Yazdani will spend over 4 years in jail for spraying paint.

That frenetic political blogger Andrew Sullivan emerged as a loud proponent of marijuana legalization is no surprise; the Catholic gay British conservative is nothing if not idiosyncratic. What is odd is that federal prosecutors want to legalize Sullivan's pot bust.

Bernie Madoff, who was able to evade the SEC while stealing billions of dollars for decades, did not have a high opinion of the SEC's investigative capabilities. For some reason! A 2005 phone transcript proves: Bernie was a comfortable crook.

Ug! Hasn't the world had enough discussion about how white Cambridge police office James Crowley totally fucked up and arrested black Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates? Apparently not!

The Way We Live Now: Waving goodbye to Mr. Nice Guy. In the good old days, we were free to shoplift without being beaten to death, and to live in the suburbs without being eaten by coyotes. No more.

Fancy Georgetown University is being stalked by a sex criminal (nicknamed the "Georgetown Cuddler," cute) who breaks into women's bedrooms and assaults them as they sleep. Police have not been able to track down a suspect of this description:

Mallory Montilla, the PR staffer who was arrested last week for helping herself to nearly $100,000 in jewelry that didn't belong to her, has been down this path before, apparently. It turns out the 24-year old was fired from her last job at Bergdorf Goodman for walking away with $13,000 in pilfered clothing. That's two strikes against her—two times now she's been fired for stealing and two times she's been arrested for it. Want to give her one more shot? She's still taking "job inquiries." [NYP]

Oh shoot, fashion PR person Mallory Montilla was some sort of career criminal or possibly a kleptomaniac, if you believe the cops, at least. Or is she a sad victim of mean girls?

Last week, banker and Democratic mega-fundraiser Hassan Nemazee was detained by FBI agents investigating whether Nemazee had used forged documents to get Citibank to provide him with a $74 million loan. The next day, though, Nemazee paid Citibank back the entire $74 million—presumably because he was hoping that if he returned the cash, he might be able to make the problem go away. But the move was a bit suspicious. If he had the $74 million sitting around, why would he have bothered carrying out the scheme in the first place?

Susan Atkins, the "Manson Family" member who killed Sharon Tate, has been denied parole.

The Way We Live Now: Just trying to do what seemed right at the time, Your Honor. We had to rob that bank, to supplement our police salary. We had to skip jury duty. It's expensive. Crime is money!

It's getting so you can't even trust PR people any more: Cops say that Mallory Montilla, a 24 year-old flack at Whisper PR in NYC, stole almost $100,000 worth of jewelry. From clients! The swag corrupted her mind!

Maria Sharapova and James Blake challenge Roger Federer. Paula opens up on Idol. Kate Moss shows some skin. And Phil Spector needs to learn a lesson. Those stories — and more! — are in your Tuesday morning Gossip Roundup!

Attached are pictures of a van that tailed a vehicle shooting pictures for Google Street View. Looks like a stereotypical child rapist van, right? That's the thing: It apparently pulled out from beside the home of rapist-kidnapper Phillip Garrido.

The Way We Live Now: With busted cuts. Our haircuts are busted cause we had to cut it ourselves. Our finger cuts are busted from trying to open soup cans. And the mob's cut of our stimulus cash has us...busted.

Not that trailer parks aren't already established as traditional American targets for tornadoes, domestic violence, and meth labs, they're crossing the threshold into killing grounds. In Georgia, a slaying left seven dead and two critically injured, with few details known.