Bruno Souza, a popular goalie, has been arrested, along with his wife and several friends, for murdering his 25-year-old mistress, chopping her up, and feeding the pieces to dogs. He says he will "laugh at all this" later. [via, Image:AP]

Oakland residents were bracing themselves tonight for riots, should white former transit police officer Johannes Mehserle be cleared of shooting an unarmed black man in 2009. Tonight, Mehserle was convicted of involuntary manslaughter by an LA jury.

Illinois hair crook Rod Blagojevich's hatred of the Chicago Tribune is well known—he even urged Tribune boss Sam Zell to fire the editorial page editor. But did you know Blago's wife hates the press even more than he does?

It's not Friday yet, but I'm pretty sure this is the most startling headline of the week: "Nigerian man arrested with bags carrying 70 dead babies." Apparently a hospital in Lagos, Nigeria was dodging burial fees. [BBC, image via]

American Apparel CEO Dov Charney's scofflaw nature is not a recent development. He was busted for illegally selling t-shirts in Montreal (the business that would eventually become AA) way back in 1987. The shocking Canadian court document proof, below!

Lindsay Lohan is reportedly angling for $1 million for her first post-jail interview, and going to prison could end up boosting sales of her clothing line, too. "Financially, it's the best thing that could have ever happened to Lindsay."

Robert Tyrell is a 29 year-old resident of Villa Rica (translation: "noble small town"), GA. He lives at home with his mom. Things he possesses: male pride, a gun. Things he does not possess: ironing skills, gratitude, problem-solving abilities.

The great New York City OxyContin drought of 2010, explained.

The LAPD has arrested a 57 year-old man in the case of "The Grim Sleeper" serial killer—suspected of killing and sexually assaulting eleven victims in the LA area from 1985 to 2007. The suspect's neighbors expressed shock. [LAT; Pic]

A 31-year-old Ohio woman pretended to be a 14-year-old boy to seduce a teenage lass she wanted to rape, and now the Daily News is calling it the "real-life Boys Don't Cry." No, it really isn't.

Lindsay Lohan will soon turn herself into Lynwood's Century Regional Detention Facility for a 90-day sentence. How many days will she actually serve? Will she get extra time for her fingernail "fuck you"? What will her cell look like?

Authorities in Thailand say a 14 year-old boy was raped by a famous Russian pianist.

Actress Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail today. Intrepid Gawker intern Molly Fitzpatrick watched the whole hearing. (Danny DeVito was there, for some reason!) Here is her story. It is the Inherit the Wind of our time.

Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to 90 days in jail and a 90-day rehab program.

The US Army says it will charge Pfc. Bradley Manning with leaking classified information—specifically, the video of the 2007 Apache helicopter attack in Baghdad that killed a journalist and civilians—to Wikileaks.com. [CNN, Previously]

The sheriff in Nye County, Nevada decided that the county's district attorney was misusing public funds. So he had him arrested. But the DA declined to press charges against himself, and had the sheriff's deputy arrested. That's just the beginning.

The father of missing Oregon second grader Kyron Horman mysteriously filed for divorce and a restraining order against Kyron's stepmother last week. We now know why. A landscaper told police Terri Horman offered him money to kill her husband.

Elliot Blume-Pickle, 18-year-old grandson of beloved young adult author Judy Blume, was arrested this week for allegedly raping a 17-year-old girl at his family's Martha's Vineyard home. Blume-Pickle recently graduated from Northfield Mount Hermon, a $45,000-a-year prep school. Naturally.

It's been four weeks since 7-year-old Kyron Horman vanished from his Portland, Oregon grade school. Last week, Kyron's father filed for divorce and a restraining order from his stepmother, the last person to see Kyron before he disappeared.

Colorado police seek prancing parking lot leprechaun "pretending to shoot at people with his fingers."