Grand larcenies in the NYC subway system were up 15% last month, and police say it's all thanks to one devious crime: people grabbing your iPhone, or iPod, or other iThing, and running away. Do you never learn, trendsetters?

Reggae star Buju Banton's cocaine trafficking case ends in a mistrial. New trial in December.

The Austin Statesman is reporting an "active shooting situation" on the University of Texas campus. A spokeswoman says an "armed suspect" in the Perry-Casteneda library (pictured) has shot himself. No word on other victims yet. Updates below.

U.S. Marshals are currently auctioning off jewelry seized from Raffaello Follieri, Anne Hathaway's now-imprisoned swindler ex-boyfriend. Anne's old jewelry is fetching only paltry prices. Bid, for the good of the U.S. taxpayer! Photos and prices below.

Cesar Mercado, the Nicaraguan diplomat found with his throat slashed in his Bronx apartment, may have killed himself because a recent HIV diagnosis. While cops were originally suspecting murder, they now think Mercado's injuries were self-inflicted.

Police in Wyoming, responding to a domestic violence call, found the man they were looking for, Brian Mattert covered in paint. He warned police that a taser shock and water-based paint together would kill him. So they tased him.

Collect all four Lindsay Lohan mugshots, and get 10 percent off your next dimebag of cocaine! At top left, Lohan's newest booking photo, taken after she was sent back to jail today for failing a drug test.

Lindsay Lohan clearly thought she was getting off easy today, but after admitting to failing a drug test—thereby breaking her probation—the troubled starlet has been ordered to go back to jail. Update: The decision has been reversed.

You may already be aware of the practice of "card skimming," wherein thieves use hidden cameras and magnetic strip-readers to steal ATM customers' PIN number and card information. Here's a fascinating video taken from one of those hidden cameras.

New York's creepiest-looking couple, Sandy and Brenda Frank, filed assault charges against each other last month after a fight over money and alleged infidelity. All charges were dismissed because there were no witnesses and the two refused to assist police.

41-year-old Teresa Lewis died tonight by lethal injection in Virginia. She offered sex and money to two men in exchange for killing her husband and stepson, though her defense attorney claimed she was borderline mentally-disabled.

Nicaraguan diplomat Cesar Mercado was found dead today in his Bronx apartment. His throat was cut and the knife was lying next to him. Mercado's driver found him when he went to bring him to the UN's General Assembly.

A 50-year-old Army veteran who was arrested after an eight-hour standoff with federal agents was charged on Wednesday with threatening to kill President Obama. Officials said he planned to ignite a war between Muslims and Christians and "start an apocalypse."

Is there any more news of shocking corruption today out of Bell, California, America's most corrupt town? But of course! Today: the police chief was even more corrupt than previously known. As was the city manager, a thief!

A Florida woman was arrested yesterday after a YouTube video surfaced showing her egging on her 16-year-old daughter during a brawl with another teenage girl. The video shows April Newcomb midway through the fight telling her daughter, "Don't fucking stop."

18-year-old Indiana teen Andrew Conley confessed to strangling his 10-year-old brother. Prosecutors are blaming the crime on Conley's desire to be like the serial-killing main character on Showtime's Dexter. Why couldn't he have just been a stoner really into Weeds?

In yet another video from Taiwan's Next Media Animation, Paris Hilton's gift for getting off easy on drug charges is examined through CGI. In it, Paris sells out her friends and sniffs Comet while cleaning a toilet for community service.

Bethany Storro, the woman who faked her own acid attack, has been charged with three counts of theft "from people or companies acting as Good Samaritans," including $1,000 sent by a California woman, and a fundraiser held by Safeway.

If you're ever feeling depressed about the decline of newspapers in America, just be thankful you're not in Mexico—where a newspaper's been reduced to politely asking drug cartels for editorial guidance, in exchange for not being murdered.

Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss are entrepreneurs, twins, Olympic rowers, and Harvard graduates. They are best known, however, for alleging that Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg stole the idea for Facebook from them back in early 2004.