Colonel David Russell Williams was commander of Canada's largest Air Force base. He was also a bizarrely organized panty thief who "meticulously photographed" his crimes. His illegal proclivities escalated to rape and murder. Today, he pled guilty to 88 charges.

Bad news, people who think pirates are entertaining from afar: global pirate attacks are down this year, thanks mostly to sharp reduction in the number of attacks off the coast of Somalia. Ironic "silver lining": the pirates have moved!

Someone should write a novel about this past week in the life of rapper T.I. Just two days ago, he was celebrated for talking a suicidal man off a roof. Today, he was sent back to prison for 11 months.

Mexican officials say they've "suspended" the investigation into Texas jet-skier David Hartley's alleged murder by pirates, but they hope to re-start it "in a few days." Decapitating criminal investigators really gets results. [CBS, photo via AP]

We never could fathom why famously liberal France would go and ban people from wearing burqas. Innate meanness? (Yes). And now French Muslims have something even more frightening to worry about: burqa rage!

An eleventh suspect's been arrested in the Bronx gay torture case. Lawyers for several of the suspects say they're innocent.

69-year-old John Stolarz was released from federal prison on Wednesday after serving 22 years for robbing banks. Yesterday, Stolarz tried to rob a midtown Manhattan bank with a knife. It didn't work out so well.

The average American murder costs society $17.2 million, according to researchers who studied the economic impact of murders, rapes, and other felonies. Here's how they stacked up.

Tabloid sexpot Andrea Peyser, who frequently writes about her dislike for gays, would now like to share her opinion on the Tyler Clementi suicide. Her main point: let's not sully Tyler's memory by lumping him in with some minority.

Daniel Dighton is on trial for killing his parents for calling him lazy when he was hungover. He stabbed his father four times and his mother 20 times. So he's not that lazy. But he did have a killer hangover.

California is all set to vote on Proposition 19, which would legalize possession and sale of small amounts of marijuana. Added bonus for free enterprise advocates: a new report says the Mexican drug cartels would barely even notice it.

Katherine Heigl was having a hot tub party with her husband, and they made so much noise, her neighbor called the cops. Is this lady annoying, or what? So! Very! Annoying! Sorry Kathy, there is no reversing this "image problem."

A tenth suspect's been arrested in the horrific Bronx gay-bashing case. Carl Paladino is still at large.

Remember the woman who told police that her husband was killed by pirates while jet-skiing in a lake on the Mexican border? And the Mexican police essentially said they didn't believe her? Well, a severed head just turned up.

Wausau, Wisconsin police arrested a 40 year-old man who "plunged into the Wisconsin River while chasing a one-legged goose." He told police he "wanted to catch the bird and roast it." He'd reportedly "been drinking heavily before the stunt." [Pic]

Former St. Johns University dean Cecilia Chang got in trouble for embezzling a million bucks and using scholarship students as her personal house slaves. And also: she made a female student escort some old dude to a party. Creepy. [NYP]

A "wild-eyed" movie theater usher named Evan Sachs stabbed an eight-year-old kid on Friday night at a Dave and Buster's in Long Island. According to police, Sachs was carrying a note spelling out his plans "to harm somebody."

And the Asshole of the Week award goes to this guy.

Police have arrested seven Bronx men ranging in age from 16 to 23 on charges that they lured three gay men to an apartment and beat and tortured them last weekend.

A grad student at the University of Louisville College of Education was in a meeting with five faculty members yesterday when she pulled a loaded gun out of her purse and said, "I guess this is it."