What's worse than being a bouncer? Being a volunteer bouncer! Like 23-year-old Nathan Landis, who, while keeping a vigilant watch over his favorite watering hole, saw another man wearing his hat backwards and zapped him repeatedly with a stun gun.

Four bodies were found at Long Island's Oak Beach, including one thought to be that of Shannan Gilbert, a 24-year-old prostitute who disappeared in May. Authorities believe the same person—or "team of people"—is responsible for all four.

Nicholas Brooks, the 24-year-old son of pervy composer Joseph Brooks, has already been charged with the attempted murder of the girlfriend who was trying to dump him, Sylvie Cachay. But he may soon be charged with murder, too. [NYP]

A 25-year-old Tehranian who blinded his girlfriend's husband by throwing acid in his face has been sentencing to having acid drizzled over his face and eyes. Apparently they're seeking "forensic scientists" to carry out the punishment now. [Daily Mail]

Ja Rule's been sentenced to two years in prison for gun possession. Time to make pepper spray "cool."

A phantom pisser left his (or her) mark in a Harvard library this weekend, by dousing a selection of books about LGBT issues with human pee. The "vandalism by urine" will be investigated as a hate crime.

A 31-year-old Brooklynite stabbed his mother to death and slashed his father before running to Windsor Terrace's G-train station and throwing himself into the rails, to the horror of commuters.

24-year-old Nicholas Brooks was arrested last night for attempted murder after his ex-girlfriend, swimsuit designer Sylvie Cachay, was found dead in the Soho House hotel. Cops believe he strangled her, but they can't prove this killed her, yet.

An imam from Queens was riding the subway this week when he was allegedly attacked by racist idiots hurling anti-Muslim slurs. Just another day on the downtown A train, amirite? New York is full of hate crimes.

David Epstein, 46, a political science professor at Columbia University, was arrested and charged with a single felony count of incest on Wednesday. He was reportedly engaged in a three-year-long consensual sexual relationship with his 24-year-old daughter.

33-year-old swimsuit designer Sylvie Cachay has been identified as the woman found dead in a bathtub at Manhattan's posh Soho House hotel. Just hours before her body was discovered she dumped her boyfriend, the privileged son of an Oscar-winning composer.

Andrea Peyser, a cheap tabloid columnist who's paid to help stoke the regrettable latent xenophobia and racism that underlies our society, is having a great day: she's found a minority who's in favor of racial profiling. This proves everything!

Nefarious Londoner Amir Ali used a petrol bomb to destroy a pub, then turned around and ran face-first into a lamppost. Here's security camera footage of the violent criminal looking like a total dum-dum.

A "law enforcement source" tells the LA Times the gun of a man who committed suicide does appear to be the one that killed publicist Ronni Chasen. (Which is the opposite of what they said earlier.) Press conference later today.

A judge in Massachusetts ruled yesterday that a jury in a manslaughter case can be shown a video of an eight year-old boy accidentally shooting himself to death with an Uzi at a gun show. Jesus. Christ. It gets worse.

New York's angriest politician, Kevin Parker, was convicted of a misdemeanor for attacking a New York Post photographer.

Retired tennis great Pete Sampras had a "majority" of the memorabilia from his days as a champion stolen from a California public storage facility, including rings, medals and trophies. It's very sad, but why was that stuff in public storage?

Two six-year-olds and a three-year-old were caught robbing a house in Covington, La. over the weekend, thankfully stopping the would-be thieves at the start of, presumably, the most adorable crime wave known to man. Here's their haul:

Here's a recent news report by Joe Torres of New York's WABC regarding some unsolved robberies in the Bronx's Bedford Park neighborhood. But wait! Just as Torres finishes, a random woman in the background takes quite a tumble. Watch inside.

You know it's a good story when it begins with a narcotics task force called "Operation: Ivy League." After months undercover with kids who are reading the Iliad, the NYPD busted five alleged frat boy drug dealers at Columbia University.