People are into some crazy stuff, but John Gallagher, 19, was arrested for breaking into his old high school in Missouri, stealing boys' underwear from their lockers, and masturbating on them. He was charged with burglary and unlawfully entering a high school. Being stuck in the past and a general pervert aren't crimes yet, which is just sort of sad.

A judge has ruled that D.B. Karron, a transgender biomedical technician, owes the government $4 million for the $1.4 million in government grants she received to develop computer medical technology but which she used instead for personal purposes.

Fashion designers Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana have been under investigation in Italy for tax evasion for some time, but now the ongoing scandal —they duo are accused of selling their company to avoid taxes—may lead to fraud charges.

Two weeks after shooting a home invader dead with a pink .38-caliber gun, Florida beauty queen Meghan Brown is ready to cash in. The Daily reports that, in the days immediately after the shooting, Meghan "modeled thigh-high stockings and a black corset laced up with a hot pink ribbon—all while aiming a shiny pistol." Why, you ask?

Police say that Brooklyn barrister Barry Bondorowsky invited a vacuum-cleaner saleswoman to do an in-house demonstration for him earlier this week—and then proceeded to grope her, shouting "I don't need a vacuum, I need a woman!"

Thousands of people in Brooklyn will tell you how great Brooklyn used to be. I never took those people seriously. Until I heard how once, pot plants "as tall as Christmas trees," grew in "anonymous vacant lots" in Brooklyn.

92-year-old Helen Staudinger went to her neighbor's house and said she wouldn't leave without a kiss. When the man refused, she went home, got her gun, and fired at his house. That is one grandma you don't want to mess with!

Manna from tabloid heaven: Lindsay Lohan is going to trial!

Paz de la Huerta—26-year-old Boardwalk Empire star and oft-nude, perma-boozed lipstick enthusiast—was arrested last night for beating up Samantha Swetra, a cast member from MTV's The City. According to Gatecrasher, a drunken Paz staggered over to Samantha's table at the Standard Hotel last night:

28 year-old Marissa Mark of Jersey City was arrested today in connection with a 2006 hit she allegedly took out on her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Her case is the latest development in the saga of Hitmanforhire.net, probably the first and last online assassination startup.

Miami! A town where you can stroll through South Beach in fashionable clothing, or—if you happen to be a black male—you can be shot by the police. Either/ or.

Hours after Chris Brown smashed a dressing room window at Good Morning America, a tipster photographed a man working on the window. But was he repairing it, or preserving it as evidence?

Jared Lee Loughner, the nutter who (allegedly!) shot Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and about 20 others in Tucson earlier this year, will undergo a month-long psychological exam to determine if he's fit to stand trial.

The parents of Tyler Clementi, the Rutgers University student who committed suicide after his roommate and another student broadcast his sexual encounter with another man on the internet, don't want the students involved to be given too "harsh" a punishment.

Iowa resident Amanda Stockstell found her girlfriend in their bed having sex with a man, so she beat the guy up with the nearest object: a softball bat. Was she wearing Birkenstocks? Lesbians make these stereotype jokes too easy.

Another day, another video of some crazy psycho ruining the peaceful commute of an unfortunate New York City subway rider.

This is Cpl. Jeremy Morlock, posing next to an Afghan civilian he killed in cold blood in January 2010. Morlock is one of five soldiers accused of forming a drug-addled "kill team" to murder Afghan civilians for kicks.

Dissident members of the internet hacktivist group Anonymous, tired of what they call the mob's "unpatriotic" ways, have provided law enforcement with chat logs of the group's leadership planning crimes, as well as what they say are key members' identities. They also gave them to us.

If you are picture-shy—as Texas resident Johnathan Washburn is—you are advised not to assault people who photograph you—as Mr. Washburn did—because then the police are required by law to take a picture of you, and give it to anyone who asks. Which is why you are loooking at a picture of Mr. Johnathan Washburn, courtesy the Austin Statesman and the Austin Police Department. (Washburn allegedly grew angry with a fellow who took a photo of his "mohawk" and demanded that the photograph be erased; the situation escalated to the point where Washburn hit the guy with his skateboard. It's unclear whether or not the offending photograph survived the assault, but Washburn's mug shot more than makes up for it.) [Austin Statesman via The Daily What]

Police in Pennsylvania say they found "54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, 8.5 prescription pills and $51.22" inside the vagina of one Karin Mackaliunas, 27, of Scranton. If this seems to you like a rather unwise place to keep one's heroin (or one's change, for that matter), know that Ms. Mackaliunas seems to have realized the same thing after only a brief period of time; she allegedly hid her contraband while being transported to the police station after being arrested for drug possession, but by the time she arrived at headquarters, it seems she was reconsidering her path of action: