Our relations at Deadspin are collecting reports that the plane which crashed into the Upper East Side building was registered to — and probably piloted by — New York Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle. ("This is totally what happens when Detroit wins," says one person on the street. Please, no hate mail.) Pretty much every news outlet you can think of is all over this one, so go forth and soak up the tragedy.
He's the Crash producer still steaming over a credit dispute that cost him his moment of Oscar glory. She's the Crash producer who places her Best Picture statuette on the mantel, pretends its shiny, bald head is his clean-shaven pate, then loses hours screaming at it for her long overdue payday. Together, they're the entertainment industry's credit-and-payment disputin'est couple, Bob Yari and Cathy Schulman. The latest scene of Bob & Cathy: A Hollywood Love Story, in which the spatting former partners engage in a heated round of mutual invitation-withholding related to the premiere of The Illusionist, a film they worked on together at the time in their backstory before the lawsuits began, unfolds in today's Page Six
The writers, director, and actors who deferred their usual paychecks in hopes that they would one day roll around naked in the big piles of money generated by little-heavy-handed-racism-parable-that-could Crash are still waiting for Bob Yari, the film's producer and alleged profit-hoarder, to make their dreams of high currency denominations rubbing up against well-oiled flesh come true. But according to the agent for one of the aggrieved actors, Yari should have done a better job of showing them some love while accusations of Harvey Weinstein-style "Hollywood accounting" are flung back and forth between camps. Reports the NY Times:
The producers of Crash are suing one another again, this time over what one faction of the team believes to be the misleading promotion of the forthcoming Lifetime TV series Angela's Eyes. The LAT reports that Alpha Crashers Paul Haggis, Mark Harris, and Bobby Moresco feel that producers Cathy Shulman and Tom Nunan are deceiving the housebound female Lifetime-watching public by billing their new series as from "the producers of the Academy Award-winning movie Crash", and are willing to sue to stop the opportunistic treachery of a somewhat misleading credit:
· Eminem is attached to star in the Paramount film adaptation of the TV series Have Gun— Will Travel, which will reimagine the Western's original gunslinger-for-hire as a white rapper who excels at threatening his wife in verse. Paramount doesn't want to stretch the neophyte actor too far in his first post-8-Mile role. [Variety]
· Let us all pause for a moment to join hands and thank our infinitely benevolent maker for allowing 20th Century Fox International to be the first studio to reach the $1 billion mark at the foreign box office this year. Slaughtering a fatted calf is strictly optional, unless you are a Fox employee who wants to score some points with his or her boss. [THR]
· It is now safe to officially apply the disappointing™ and Huge Fucking Bomb™ labels to Over the Hedge and Poseidon, respectively. [Variety]
· A judge ruled that producer Bob Yari had to amend his lawsuit over being denied a Crash credit by the PGA and AMPAS, probably to include the disclaimer, "I realize that in the event I am awarded this credit I am claiming my share of the responsibility for this heavy-handed artistic disaster, even if I'm only bringing this action because the movie somehow won a Best Picture Oscar." [THR]
· ICM officially admits that top agent Chris Andrews has jilted his longtime partner for bustier, sluttier mistress CAA. [Variety]
A reader shares his weekend brush with Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, who apparently forgot to take a cat nap before trying to finally catch up on seeing all of the Best Picture nominees:
Today's Hollywood Reporter features a long profile of producer Cathy Schulman, who's currently locked in an entertaining bout of legal shit-flinging with former business partner (and fellow Crash producer) Bob Yari. And while it's always difficult to capture a large, complicated personality in a single column in a trade publication, this is what we took away from the story: 1) She is "flat broke," despite the Oscar, 2) she has professional "man trouble," and 3) she's a little defensive about her tendency to fight back against these men in court. Some illustrative pullquoting follows:
MGM is inviting the press to its "lavish" Century City offices to unveil up to an 18 picture distribution slate from various indie studios, such as Weinstein Co., Bauer Martinez, and Lakeshore. Junket whores, get ready to get your minds blown by the Sony-powered MGM! [Variety]
Anyone who's spent more than a few minutes watching the Nickelodeon family of channels knows that what their networks really need is some adorable thugging up by the Wayans brothers. [THR]
Crash sells 17,500 DVDs the day after the Oscars. Sure, it's a spike, but is that a lot? We honestly have no idea, and we want to know whether we're supposed to be upset or not. [Variety]
They're just going to keep casting pilots until they run out of actors: John Lithgow goes to the NBC pilot Twenty Good Years, Jay Mohr joins NBC's Community Service, and Justine Bateman signs on with ABC's untitled Patricia Heaton project, which to the best of our knowledge is not about how tasty the steaks at Albertson's are. Yet, anyway—we'll see how the network notes go after the table read. [THR]
It took approximately a decade of regular cellphone use for Stephen King to finally embrace the technology as a murderous plot device in one of his novels, and Dimension far less time to commission a movie version of the idea. But do we really need them to tell us that cellphones turn people into zombies? [Variety]
Of all the conspiracy theories half-whispered around town about how Crash managed to win Best Picture over Brokeback Mountain (Jack Nicholson didn't read the correct name, Paul Haggis' buddies at the Scientology mothership put the fix in, etc etc) this might be our favorite.* But as long as we're all still willing to cling to the idea something more sinister than simple, honest bad taste delivered Crash the victory, we submit a new crackpot theory: Tom Hanks wasn't cursing as he took the stage, he was actually casting a spell that changed the winner in the biggest awards race because he was angry with Brokeback screenwriter Larry McMurtry for wearing jeans to the ceremony.
Kurt Loder had a chance to talk to Paul Haggis shortly before the Oscars about his favorite film of the year, Crash, not a surprising choice for the MTV personality considering the Best Picture winner in many ways echoes that other classic urban cautionary tale, the "Papa Don't Preach" video. Looking ahead, Loder questions Haggis on what we can expect from Casino Royale, the upcoming James Bond installment for which the writer/director did a script rewrite:
After spending the last 24 hours or so self-inflicting paper cuts with a copy of the Crash script (the pages where Sandra Bullock is paranoid about her Mexican locksmith hurt the best) and seasoning the fresh wounds with a generous amount of table salt, we think we're ready to read some analysis about how Paul Haggis' little-race-fable-that-could pulled of its upset. Sure, you can blame actors, who were targeted with many of the 130,000 screeners the studio sent out, and who represent 22% of the Academy's voting members. But credit Lionsgate's Tom Ortenberg for his Rovian (this year, a better choice than the excess of a Weinsteinesque blitz) campaign strategy. Says The Envelope:
Unless you're Paul Haggis, we have no idea why you'd be Googling this particular phrase. But it does take the sting out of last night's troubling upset (read: nope, not even a little) to know that the search engine gods feel our pain.
Variety thinks Jon Stewart played it "safe" and "right down the middle" by not going too political or biting the industry hand that fed him. To be fair, he didn't have anyone as appealing as Jude Law to kick around like Chris Rock did last year. [Variety]
Ang Lee, like pretty much everyone with taste, was shocked that Crash beat Brokeback: "I was backstage enjoying the buildup I was familiar with: the writers (winning), then me (winning). It was a surprise, frankly. But congratulations to the 'Crash' filmmakers." [THR]
Crash's win gives Lionsgate its first-ever Oscar. Pardon us if we're not exactly popping champagne corks on their behalf, as that Best Picture fiasco probably cost us our Oscar pool. Thanks, LG! [Variety]
Everybody works during pilot season: Blair Underwood in CBS drama Company Town, Mena Suvari in CBS drama Orpheus, Lori Loughlin joins ABC comedy In Case of Emergency, and Rebecca Gayheart joins Fox drama Vanished. [THR]
Let's all climb back in our time machine and return to two days ago, when Brokeback took home the Independent Spirit Best Picture Award, and all was still right with the world. [Variety]
When life gives you a literary hoax, make hoaxster-ade: Weinstein Co. plans to bring a "biopic" about fictitious author J.T. Leroy, based on the articles by the NY Times reporter who outed the fakery. We fear that a tale of James Frey's tragic post-Oprah existence will be announced shortly. [Variety]
Zach Braff will reunite with his Garden State producer to adapt, direct, produce and co-star in remake of 2002 Danish romantic drama Open Hearts for Paramount. And just in case you were wondering on embattled Paramount president Gail Berman's role in this, she was "instrumental in bringing the project to the studio." There, now you know what she's been up to. [THR]
HBO just wants "to be in the Dane Cook business," signing the comedian to develop a series, headline a stand-up special, star in a tour documentary, produce and star in original content for non-traditional platforms, and if he so chooses, open up Dane's Joint, a stand-up comedy theme restaurant. [Variety]
Pilot news clearinghouse: Jesse Bradford is cast in in ABC drama Twenty Questions, Eddie McClintock in NBC's untitled Chris Sheridan comedy, Gerald "Major Dad" McRaney in CBS drama Jericho, and Mo Collins joins Patricia Heaton's untitled comedy at ABC. [THR]
· Crash's original song nominee, "In the Deep," will not be disqualified from Oscar contention. Also, an appeal to the Academy to disqualify the film from the Best Picture category under the arcane "You've got to be fucking kidding me" provision failed, and any votes cast for the movie will stand. [Variety]
Today's LAT looks at two lawsuits swirling around Best Picture nominee Crash, at least one of which, sadly, forces us to consider the unspeakable possibility that Paul Haggis' (Oscar post-party t-shirt: "Do you have any racist in you? No? Would you like some?") heavy-handed race-relations fable might actually win the award. In the first suit, producer Bob Yari is suing the Producers Guild and Academy over the secretive process ("Who doesn't like Yari today? Show of hands...OK, he's not the producer.") that denied him a producer credit on the film; in the second, former partner Cathy Schulman puts the legal screws to Yari over their soured business relationship. Reports the LAT:
· If Crash wins, its 182 swear words will make it the third most profane Best Picture of all time. This useless statistic brought to you by the friendly swear-counting folks at FamilyMediaGuide.com! [Gold Derby]
· The nominated Oscar shorts are available for download on iTunes, leading some of the Academy's older, less tech-savvy voters to accidentally nominate Pink's "Stupid Girls" video for Best Picture. [Oscar Beat]
· "And Paul Giamatti, what is with the gee-whiz, do we really have to bother with this, attitude. You know you want it, whether you got side-swiped for Sideways, or not." And the award for Best 8-Point Run-On Oscar-Themed Rant Goes To...[The Carpetbagger]
· Spend a few minutes staring at partially obstructed ladyparts in this Oscar fashion quiz. [The O-Factor]
· Over 32,000 people have signed a petition to disqualify Palestinian Best Foreign Film nominee Paradise Now, almost as many as have signed the "No Robin Williams Oscars Stage Time" petition currently circulating around Hollywood. [PopWatch]
"Rock-jawed, former teen hearthrob" Matt Dillon isn't going to squander his moment of Oscar-nominated glory by putting his head down, shyly considering the shine on his shoes, and mumbling some pullquote-ready nonsense soaked in false humility. No, now that his fine performance in the criminally overpraised Crash has been recognized by his peers, he's finally been afforded the opportunity to wax pretentious poetic about the glory of heavy-handed filmmaking:
The Envelope reports that Lionsgate had to disclose exactly what its been spending on its For Your Consideration assault for Crash, letting us know exactly what the studio is willing to spend to buy itself an Oscar. The total's up to $4 million (against the movie's reported $6.5 million budget) for the entire awards-season campaign, with the last couple of million coming after the movie snagged its nominations in the only contest that matters:
