corporate-america

Dov Charney Gets His Bailout

Hamilton Nolan · 04/22/11 08:25AM

Teetering teenage titty tableau titillator American Apparel has been wrestling this week with the question of how to get millions of dollars to keep itself alive while still being run by Dov Charney, a crazy person. They've done it! How? They found the minute handful of people in North America who A) have millions of dollars to invest, and B) do not think Dov Charney is a crazy person. What are the chances?

Which Is Worse: Bankruptcy, or Dov Charney?

Hamilton Nolan · 04/20/11 09:17AM

Fashion pimp of trendy hose American Apparel is in mortal financial peril at the moment; it needs an infusion of cash to stave off a possible bankruptcy. Investors have the cash, and the interest in the brand; what they don't have, in all likelihood, is an interest in handing a huge pile of cash over to the sole control of Dov Charney, who—despite his unshakeable confidence in himself—is the one who got the company in this situation in the first place.

The 'Can You Hear Me Now?' Guy's Perpetual Catchphrase Prison

Hamilton Nolan · 04/13/11 11:06AM

You know exactly who Paul Marcarelli is, even though you don't know that you do. He's the "Can you hear me now?" guy. His be-spectacled face has graced dozens upon dozens of Verizon ads, which have bombarded you for nearly a decade of your life, whether you like it or not.

Indian Workers Just as Dumb as American Workers

Hamilton Nolan · 04/05/11 03:13PM

American corporations have made untold millions by shipping all their call centers and tech support jobs out to India, where you can get nice, educated workers at a fraction of the cost. Or can you?

McDonald's Trying to Pretend Like Its Jobs Aren't Horrible

Hamilton Nolan · 04/04/11 01:29PM

Don't pull that trigger just yet, suicidal chronically unemployed Americans: Mcdonald's is hiring 50,000 new workers right here in the USA, for positions ranging from cleaning grease traps to supervising the cleaning of grease traps to creating spreadsheets that rank the most cost-effective methods of cleaning grease traps. It's all part of a McDonald's effort to keep its grease traps clean. Along with its image!

Now You Have to Worry About Your Ugly Underarms

Hamilton Nolan · 03/30/11 10:08AM

Remember to include the Unilever corporation on your Christmas card list this year, ladies: without their groundbreaking research, you wouldn't know enough to be publicly concerned about the hideousness of your armpit region.

A Million Women Will Sue Wal-Mart One Way or Another

Hamilton Nolan · 03/11/11 12:25PM

Wal-Mart is currently the subject of one of the biggest workplace discrimination lawsuits in history. Female employees say the company systematically discriminated against them in hiring and business practices. But is a million-person class action suit fair?