The young mothers of Capitol Hill have a fancy basement hideout called the "boob cube." Jealous?

Now that the House has passed a stand-alone version of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" repeal, the only question remaining is how the Senate will screw this up. The votes are there! Right there! Don't go murmuring about "time" restraints!

Capitol Police put Congress on lockdown late this morning, terrifying everyone. It didn't last long, though, after police took down a "man with a weapon" outside Senate office buildings. 'Twas a fleeting moment of excitement for poor, overworked Hill staffers.

The Senate will most likely approve President Obama's tax deal today. Now that that's settled, can the chamber finish its other year-end work? Sure! But Tea Party Sen. Jim DeMint wants these bills read in full on the Senate floor.

Congress' 13% approval rating is the lowest ever recorded by Gallup.

Rand Paul is a 47-year-old doctor and United States Senator-elect, but he won't even splurge for his own basement sublet in Washington. Instead, he's moving in with his old man, Rep. Ron Paul, in his Virginia condo.

Because of you people and your endless legislative demands — gays in the military this, tax cuts that — President Obama may have to delay his Hawaiian vacation a few days so he can sign all this stuff. Happy, America?

Tonight, Jon Stewart opened with an impassioned rant against Republicans for blocking a Congressional bill that would've provided health care for 9/11 first responders. Stewart then implored the GOP to never again exploit the attacks for political gain. Watch inside.

The Obama administration has loudly opposed a provision of the omnibus spending bill, passed last week by the House, that would ban the transfer of Guantanamo Bay detainees to U.S. soil, even for trial.

Members of Congress are giving all sorts of controversial speeches today. While Sen. Bernie Sanders was (and still is!) noting that rich people don't need estate tax cuts, Rep. Ron Paul was sharply defending Wikileaks.

Tonight, Jon Stewart tackled the increasingly prominent issue of, well, the fact that President Obama is pissed off. Obama's pissed off at Republicans, obviously, but—as Stewart pointed out—it seems he hates his own supporters now, too! Watch inside.

Rep. Ron Paul, whose career goal is to destroy the Federal Reserve, will chair the subcommittee overseeing the Federal Reserve.

House Democrats voted in a private meeting this morning to reject the tax cut plan President Obama negotiated with the GOP.

Tonight, Jon Stewart opened The Daily Show with a segment about the recent deal in Congress, aided by President Obama, that extended the Bush-era tax cuts. Specifically, Stewart mocked Democrats and Obama for their hyperbolic vilification of Republicans. Watch inside.

House Republicans have released their schedule for next year's session: One week off for every two weeks on. Think of all the full weeks you'll be able to spend with your congressmen now!

Yesterday, Democrat and Republican lawmakers—guided by President Obama—reached a deal that extended tax cuts for all Americans (including the rich). Congress also agreed to continue its spending. Tonight, Jon Stewart pointed out the inherent incongruence of this.

Barack Obama gave a definitive press conference this afternoon — excoriating Republican "hostage takers" and "sanctimonious" Democrats alike, and outlining a clear strategy for centrism. And he kicked it off by getting angry.

Defense Secretary Robert Gates told Navy sailors serving in the Arabian Sea today that despite the push from him and other Pentagon leaders, the military's ban on gays serving openly is likely to continue into the next year.

Don't worry, millionaires! Thanks to our broken government, you will likely get those insane and irresponsible tax cuts extended.

Hey, fluffy newspaper editorial writers, you want Republicans and Democrats to "stop fighting" and "get something done," correct? Well, good news: the Congressional Black Caucus and Republicans might team up to kill the congressional ethics office! America is restored.