Axe just released this faux infomercial in hopes of getting guys to scrub their nether-reigons with what's essentially a jazzed-up loofah. Well, if hot girls and immature euphemisms can't sell a nut-scrubber, then good God, what will?
Have you heard about Office 10? You haven't!?!! Well, lean back and let this two minute long pun fest teach you absolutely nothing about Microsoft's latest suite of office software. Warning: easy jokes and hard sells ahead.
There's been some debate about whether or not this ad is actually racist. Let's see: there's a white guy who is "stuck in an awkward situation." The situation? Being surrounded by black people. The solution? Fried chicken. Umm...
"Hey kids, drugs are bad!" These messages seemed like they went up one nostril and out the other. Maybe if they put some effort into them like these gems, kids wouldn't fall asleep in DARE class.
Pop culture scientists are now telling us that commercials actually make television more enjoyable. "The findings are simultaneously implausible and empirically coherent." That's what I'm saying! But we have detected some wackiness in this study:
Within minutes of this post's publication on the East Coast, the Barack Obama infomercial American Stories American Solutions — formerly known as Hole in the Wall: Election Edition — will premiere on NBC, CBS, and FOX. The procrastinators at the Obama campaign waited until this afternoon to unveil the official spot promoting the 30-minute ad, supplying what we think is the first-ever commercial for a commercial in electoral history. As with most mediocre trailers, we imagine that once you've seen this, you don't need to see the rest (hint: talking candidate, stirring music), but you be the judge after the jump: Is it Obama or Pushing Daisies in your 8 o' clock hour?Click to view
Click to viewBoomp3.com High school football coach and digital camera pitchperson Ashton Kutcher called for a time out during the big break to ask his defense line for some feedback on his latest ad campaign. Kutcher was concerned that he was coming off like a slight tool in the latest ads. However, the defense line thought that they should focus on the game since they were only down by a field goal. Kutcher said that he had the game winning play all drawn, but would only give it up after getting some feedback. The That 70s Show star told the guys to be completely honest and brutal with him. The defensive captain speaking for the whole team said, “I don’t know. It’s mildly annoying, but it could be worse. Now, can we get that game winning play?” Kutcher patted the defensive captain on the back and told him to sit the rest of the game out. [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.
It was just last week that Microsoft unveiled their new advertisement featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates hanging out in a shoe store. Shockingly, you rubes failed to comprehend what this had to do with computers and PCs remained firmly on store shelves. Well, perhaps this latest opus will change all that. In today’s installment Bill and Jerry deign to hang out with regular people in the suburbs. It may be a little less weird than their previous outing, but it’s certainly longer—in fact, it’s a whopping four and a half minutes! We’ve excerpted a choice 30-second cut, but you can watch the entire thing here. If this baby doesn’t get you to put down that Mac and climb aboard the Vista train, nothing will. [YouTube]
Did you stuff your face with enough beef over the holiday weekend? If not, Matthew McConaughey is gonna be mighty pissed off. Check out the new radio spot he recorded for the National Cattleman's Beef Association. You know, the dudes who came up with that "Beef, it's what's for dinner" slogan? Well, they got themselves a brand new golden-haired, A-list pitchman and the results have become a bit of an obsession here in the Defamer offices. Why does it fascinate so? Maybe it's because McConaughey plays up his every vocal tic for maximum effect, like he's trying to lure a small child into a windowless van with some candy. Or maybe it's because their new tagline, "Discover the power of protein in the land of lean beef," is so impossibly vomit inducing (and also a little homoerotic). Or perhaps it's because at the end of the day, Matthew delivers his most convincing performance since A Time To Kill. Whatever the reason, it totally works. I ate like 15 burgers this weekend and couldn't be happier. Listen to the ad after the jump.
Canadians! Did you know they get their own day? It's true! And it's today! We've been celebrating all day by ragging on Canadian Malcolm Gladwell for no good reason and also extending more publicity to creepy scumbag Canadian Dimitri the Lover! It turns out the FreeCreditReport.com guy is also Canadian! But French Canadian so he probably doesn't even want to be Canadian. Go celebrate the nation that oppresses his people by watching that video where not knowing his credit rating made him marry that total bitch and take on her stupid girl debt (probably incurred by shoe-buying and driving poorly). [HuffPo]
Heinz has a new commercial out in the UK starring a guy who works at a deli. He's so popular for his delicious mayonnaise, you see, that the man of the house gives him a kiss on the way out the door. But Bill O'Reilly sees this for what it really is: "It was obviously a gay thing!" O'Reilly's insight into the gay issue is almost as piercing as his colleague John Gibson's was when he cracked all those gay jokes about Heath Ledger right after the actor's death. "This whole gender-blending thing, it's confusing to me," says O'Reilly. "I just want mayonnaise. I don't want guys kissing." Sorry; you must have a man's tongue in your mouth before you get any mayonnaise, Bill. Watch the homosexual Heinz ad after the jump.
When you're advertising potentially nasty medical-related products or causes, take a cue from the pharmaceutical industry. Those guys can make an ad for Irritable Bowel Syndrome treatment look like a beloved home movie. On the other end of the sensitivity spectrum is this ad from Thailand's Red Cross , urging people to donate their eyes when they die so that others may see. Good cause. But my god, is a huge dump site full of wasted, disembodied eyeballs really the best way to get your message across? (No). The horrifically misguided full ad is below—not for the squeamish.
I love watching old TV commercials because they remind me of Saturday mornings and of a civilized age when you had four channels and when the cartoons told you they'd be right back after these messages, you believed them and you watched the messages because they were fun and if you watched them the cartoons really would be right back and you'd be so happy to see them! So... Ten minutes of 80s commercials after the jump.
· By the WIND, people. Get your minds out of the gutter! Bonus besteverness? Directed by David Fincher. [Creativity Magazine]
· Nerds rejoice! Guillermo del Toro has finally signed on to direct the long gestating LOTR prequel, The Hobbit. He will be spending the next four years (!!!) in New Zealand alternately shooting the film and polishing Peter Jackson's Oscars. [Variety]
· Speaking of hobbits, Elijah Wood's latest movie includes his first on-screen sex scene. Disturbingly, the scene involves spaghetti. No word yet if spaghetti sauce is also involved, but if it were, we hope they used Trader Joe's Organic Vodka Sauce. That's our fave. [Thighs Wide Shut]
· And since we've clearly got sex on the brain, here's video of a topless Mischa Barton straddling what looks to be the poor man's James Van Der Beek. The footage comes from some movie that, thanks to the magic of The Internets, you never have to actually see! [Egotastic]
· And lastly, Amy's Robot asks what could be the most important question of our times (or, at least, the last few hours): "Are you aware that Tina Fey's husband looks like this?" Actually, we did not. [Amy's Robot via Fimoculous]
Ever since Mean Girls became a runaway success back in 2004, Tina Fey has been riding a wave of near universal acclaim. Her ability to ride that tasty wave of popularity for the last four years without succumbing to any nasty wipeouts has arguably turned her into the Laird Hamilton of the Writers-Turned-Performers circuit. But when Baby Mama hits theaters this weekend, all of that cred that she has built up will be put to the test. Not only has Variety's Todd McCarthy gone on record calling it "exceedingly predictable", but Videogum has been trumpeting the notion that "Tina Fey-Tigue" is about to set in for the last week and some change. Recognizing that this film doesn't exactly fit the mold of traditional studio comedies (namely, in that it stars two female protagonists), Universal has been throwing a bunch of dollars at Baby Mama television advertising over the last few weeks, alternately positioning the film as a Tina Fey Vehicle, a film In Which Amy Poehler Steals The Show and, gasp, as something that even sports-loving, beer guzzling men will dig (specifically, by scoring the spots with The Cars' dude-friendly power pop anthem "Just What I Needed").
While all three of these spots appear after the jump, we thought it would be fun to enlist Defamer's videographer par excellence Molly McAleer to cut a commercial for the film that would play to all the thrill-seeking teens who have made Prom Night one of this spring's surprise B.O. hits (above). Feel free to use our cut, Universal marketing team — all we ask for is a link in return. Enjoy!
Here's a good look at Liberty Mutual's feast of responsibility: the simplistic blog post on ResponsibilityProject.com that the company was seeking to promote by buying up deceased ad executive Paul Tilley's name in Google Adwords. "When a 40-year-old Chicago advertising executive named Paul Tilley died recently, the cause of death was officially ruled suicide," the post says. "But some believe that Tilley was metaphorically pushed by a steady stream of malicious comments anonymously posted about him online in the weeks before he took his life." Well, the investigators got it all wrong, then! We also notice that they've bought the word "responsibility." And after the jump, you can watch one of the site's responsibility-promoting films: "A man is just another passenger on a bus until he comes face to face with a thief. And a choice." So he chose to steal a dead guy's name to sell insurance, right? Surprisingly, no!
Now this would be an interesting potential genius move/ mistake: According to an unverifiable leak to Gawker-approved blogger Cajun Boy In The City, Microsoft might be thinking about Johnny Knoxville as its cool new answer to Mac's young annoying hipster spokesman, Justin Long. You'll recall that Microsoft recently hired a new, more with-it ad agency in a bid to stop getting humiliated in 30-second spots. Is this what they came up with? We've emailed the company for comment [UPDATE: Microsoft's PR firm emails us: "Microsoft is planning a consumer advertising campaign with Crispin Porter & Bogusky. We have no other details to share at this time." Thanks!]. After the jump, the entire email [via Cajun Boy] from someone who purportedly attended a Microsoft focus group and saw it all firsthand.
