You want a powerful opening statement, bitches? "In the annals of stupid ideas, this has got to be the worst. Ever." Ever! What is sex fiend columnist Andrea Peyser talking about? Something everyone else thought was a good idea:
Misunderstood Times columnist Maureen Dowd got in trouble for not rewriting something her friend emailed her from a blog, so today's column is something only MoDo could've written.
Maureen Dowd will get off penalty-free for (she says) accidentally plagiarizing a paragraph of Josh Marshall's material. Fine by us! Can the New York Times stop pretending the internet is ripping it off, now?
"Everyone today wants to be a professional and most people believe they are." But most of you are deluded. Mark Penn is here to tell you why. And to spout further generalizations, for money!
Is mustachioed hybrid-hawker Thomas Friedman licking dog food remnants from discarded cans yet? Sadly no, but he must be getting close! First his rich wife's family business went bankrupt. Now he's lost $75K. Just yesterday!
You can always tell how kinky a Republican is by how vociferously they condemn whatever they secretly love, which maybe is why Andrea Peyser is writing about violent teen sex now.
If there's one thing that formaldehyde-preserved Post columnist Cindy Adams hates more than things that could not happen "only in New York," it's Poindexter politicos using big words. Like today: "Regulation"?!?! Okay, mumbledy-dumbledy!
I wonder if the New York Post'ssecret sex beast columnist Andrea Peyser has found some sexy pornography to write about today? She has! "I must have your honey milk," it says, in part:
Barack Obama has some distant relative from a place called "Moneygall," in Ireland. Maureen Dowd joked about that in an interview that ran on Monday. Days later, she couldn't come up with a better line.
Andrea Peyser cannot conceal her throbbing sexuality for even the length of a single column. Nor would we ask her to! Her sourpuss writing fairly drips with (unfulfilled?) kink. Today: rock-hard prison sex!
Ha, the University of Chicago's newspaper dug up a 1982 column by NYT bobo David Brooks. It's about his nightmares. He had an intense fear of gargoyles, zombies, and totally weird wallpaper:
Andrea Peyser is always on the sex tip, yall! The NYP attack columnist seems to lash out in print as a way to repress her natural urges for, say, some legs that just don't stop.
Octogenarian gossipmonger Liz Smith continues to chronicle the reactions to the New York Post's shocking move to drop her column, and we will continue to report them as well, forever! Today: Warren Beatty is supportive!
Liz Smith's time at the New York Post is done. It's time for a lifetime retrospective! Who is this gossipy lady? It all started back in a dusty little place called Texas...
Here is a humdinger of a bit of gossip actual confirmed news: Liz Smith, octogenarian gossip queen of New York, has been dropped as a New York Post columnist. Sad, but expected.
President Barack Obama says he wants to save the economy, but all he does is give speeches and talk to fancy economists. Meanwhile, Michelle Obama is actually saving the economy, by shopping at Pottery Barn!
Today in the New York Times opinion section: Maureen Dowd reads the Post and pretends to be outraged at perk-addicted rich people, Thomas Friedman just makes up some nonsense.
