Misunderstood Times columnist Maureen Dowd got in trouble for not rewriting something her friend emailed her from a blog, so today's column is something only MoDo could've written.

See, the problem with the last column was that it was all about "issues" and "an important political debate" and she tried to make "points" using "evidence" to advance an "argument." That is not what Maureen Dowd does! No wonder she needed Josh Marshall's uncredited help! No, what Maureen Dowd won those hundred Pulitzers for was "fanfic about politicians making liberal use of embarrassingly out-of-date pop cultural references." Hey, so, former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and former Vice President Dick Cheney walk into a bar, right...

"That was funny when you were on Fox and Neil Cavuto called you Obama's ‘ball and Cheney,' " Rummy grins, taking a gulp of his brunello.

Dick grunts, raising a fork of his Risotto Gucci with roasted free-range quail.

"The punks thought they could roll over us," Vice mutters. "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."

Hah. That is a line from the popular 1987 film Dirty Dancing. The guy from Road House (may he rest in peace!) says it. Wouldn't it be incongruent and therefore hilarious if that cantankerous old Republican politician Dick Cheney said it?

Dowd is also back to impugning Obama's masculinity, of course, because he is adopting some of the national security arguments of the manly, psychotic Republicans. Also she is calling George H. W. Bush "poppy." The only person Maureen Dowd is plagiarizing today is Maureen Dowd!