The brief, delightful August reign of the Doughtery gang has finally come to an end, in exactly the way you'd expect a nationwide manhunt for a bank-robbing stripper and her two brothers to end: A high-speed car chase and a gun battle.

Look, I'm don't want to disparage John Denver, but does the man really need a mountain named after him? That's one college professor's plan. J.P. McDaniel gathered some 2,300 signatures to rename the eastern peak of Mt. Sopris after the folksy John Denver, but now it turns out that might violate the Wilderness Act of 1964. More from the Grand Junction Daily Sentinel:

It's hot, huh? The whole country is burning up. Make sure you stay cool out there! Especially make sure that you don't get heatstroke, bite a zookeeper, attack a police officer, and get yourself killed by the cops.

Last week, America was captivated by the heartwarming story of an unidentified drifter who hid inside a porta potty—like, inside, a porta potty—at a yoga festival in order to watch women, well, you know. Well! The gentleman has been found, and arrested. His name is Luke Chrisco, alias, Skye Oryan, and he began peeping while "living in the woods in France years ago." Shall we hear what he has to say, courtesy the Daily Camera and KDVR?

Loveland, Colorado rancher Paul Ehrlich was annoyed by all the people rafting and tubing down the river that runs through his property, and trespassing all over his 60 acres. So he built a barbed-wire fence across the river to keep them away.

How did you celebrate 4/20? Well, you could have lit up a spliff the size of a Volkswagen Beetle and it still wouldn't have come close to what the pothead population of Boulder cooked up. Watch in amazement as a cloud of marijuana smoke steadily grows above a gathering of 4/20 celebrants. Then watch it grow denser and larger still, as coughs and beach balls bounce throughout crowd. The video cuts off before the unruly mob discusses raiding a nearby Costco for free samples, then gives up in a moment of weed-induced apathy. But it's still pretty awe-inspiring nonetheless.

Police in Colorado were called to an elementary school to handle a violent second-grader who had "broke wood trim off the walls and was trying to stab teachers." So they did what any good cops would: They pepper sprayed him.

Down Periscope actor Kelsey Grammer and his newly ex-wife, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Camille, bought their Avon, CO ski home in 2002 for $5.35 million, and are now selling it, in the ash-strewn aftermath of their very public divorce, for $7.9 million. "Let's make a profit off this bitch!" — Everyone involved in this marriage from the get-go.

Good news from today's Wall Street Journal: "The lowest-priced single-family home on the market in Aspen is listed for $559,000. It's located in a trailer park." The median single-family dwelling in Aspen costs $4.6 million. That's a higher price than the median single-family home in any other city in the nation.

Fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg broke her nose and sustained several facial fractures after a man collided with her on the ski slopes in Colorado. First she was mugged in Spain and now this? She really needs to stop traveling.

[Colorado is definitely going to have a white Christmas after being pummeled by winter storms. This Colorado woman clears out her walkway. Image via AP.]

[Yes, as of yesterday, it's officially winter, especially here in Crested Butte, which is actually the name of the town, no, seriously, in Colorado. Photo via AP.]

Two sisters were shot in Colorado on Monday. One survived; one didn't. Here's the thing: They were twins, and the police don't know which one is which.

Why do people keep loaded guns near their bed while they sleep? For every crime in progress this stops, another three or four guys probably shoot themselves while sleepwalking. Like this man, who shot himself in the knee.

Is being gay "a choice"? Sort of, according to Colorado Republican Senate candidate Ken Buck. But "birth has an influence over it, like alcoholism." Homosexuality is just like a crippling addictive disease! Except, you're addicted to... oh, never mind.

60 mph wind gusts are pushing the Colorado wildfire closer to the town of Boulder, and authorities have told residents that the western part of town may be evacuated. At least 170 homes have been destroyed this week.

The wildfire in Colorado has claimed 135 homes, making it the most destructive in the state's history.

[Colorado is on fire. Well, part of it, anyway: This is from outside of Boulder; some 92 structures have been destroyed and another eight damaged. Pic via AP.]

In a wacky TV spot, Colorado gubernatorial candidate John Hickenlooper jokes that he needs to shower after watching opponents' dirty, negative ads. But he won't even undress in his shower scenes! Come on, John. Colorado's pervy voters demand full-frontal.